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so happy

thank you Mr. Yorke. you did it again! i fell instantly in love with the Lotus Flower video. i said thank you for finally giving us a dance video. this latest video INGENUE, OMG! so beautiful. so wonderful. so fantastic. so comforting. so artistic. so handsome. so unique. so eccentric. so so wanted, needed and loved! it made me smile, laugh, cry, swoon, dance, hungry and feel alive! ILY Mr. Yorke!11010975058?profile=original

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Worst Dream EVER

I just woke up from the worst dream EVER. Remember the show Quantum Leap? Somehow I ended up in Geddy Lee's body six and a half minutes before a Rush concert.It totally sucked.I was in a smelly room where Alex and Neil were fighting over the last diet Coke in the backstage spread and some guy opens the door and says "Five minutes guys. Small crowd, only eighteen thousand. And Geddy... No worries about your bass rig. The tech thinks it'll make it through the whole show tonight."I don't what Geddy had been up to, but he had the shits, wicked bad nicotine fit shakes, and his in-ears weren't working.WTF?Oh Gods of Quantum Leaping into Bass Player Bodies Whilst Sleeping or Unconscious, please make me Colin Greenwood, Kim Deal, or Les Pattinson next time.
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AMOK arrived!

My copy of AMOK just arrived! Wow this is so different but at the same well known. I guess I'll have to hear it twenty times before I can say something more substancial.
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Burndle.

Burndle.

 

I burn ants and send them to heaven porridge souls for the methman.

Don’t knowhere are we heading.

But I kike it.

Iam a ballistic.  Iam a physic. 

Not yet my lover Not ever my fucker.

Modern earrings for an old dog.

I love limp dicks.

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Violence.

Violence.

 

Slavery is fucking beautiful.

I don’t like bacoln.

The terrible sound of metal breaking wreaks havoc on my heart.

And I know the source of origin.

Water is unstable naturally foolish man.

My mother is a whore.

And my grandfather’s a Nazi.

But I love them in hell like I never loved them in heaven.

Pop goes the weasel.

Smach goes the plaited iron.

And I know better but I act no worse.

This is the dawn of the modern age.

This is mine rapture.

Kiss my ass and I will love you to.

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Dreams make reality boring.

Last few months have left me in a bewildering state solely because of my dream world. If anybody here is good at at analyzing dreams, give me some answers, I'd appreciate them :D

In the summer I had a dream, where I worked in a castle as a consultant to the king. He was actually quite a normal guy, we had interesting conversations about everyday life and what should be changed for the people to have an easier life.

The army consisted of men dressed in blue and red  uniforms with masks which covered their whole face and they only had one sword. You could not tell one soldier from another by appearance even if you tried. 

One night the enemy breached our walls but very silently. They dressed the same as our army and were therefor impossible to tell apart. What happened was that  everyone started fighting everyone, which of course turned into a bloodbath. But, there was one difference. If you cut one of our soldiers, he would draw blood, but if you struck the opposition, they'd turn into blocks of stone and fall apart. When I realized this in my dream, I woke up.

A few months before, I dreamed I was going out for a quiet drink with my friends at one of our usual pubs in town. I was sure they'd be there. It was spring, everything was blooming and full of life, but when I arrived there, everything was covered in a thick fog, which distorted the view. I was the only one in the pub, besides two elder gentlemen sitting a few tables away from me.

I thought nothing of it, the first thing which surprised me was the fact the waitress brought me coffee without me asking for it, she said nothing, didn't leave a check or even made eye contact. By this point I was getting annoyed that no one showed up, so I started eavesdropping on the two gentlemen. It was then that I realized that they were looking at me the whole time and were talking about me. One of them was dressed in white with a small beard, the other wore darker clothes and had short, black hair.

The black one said: "What do you think he should be, a doctor, a lawyer?"

The white one replied: "No, no, no, you know he hates offices, he's a creative type, likes music and drawing, that sort of thing, he should go into that field."

"Yeah, you're right, he'd be perfected at that." 

I was really shocked at what I heard and kind of offended (don't really know why), so I went to their table to stop this conversation. I walked up to them and said "Excuse me, but who the hell are you to talk about me like this?"

They gave me one of those laughs the parents give to their children when they ask something which is so obvious to them. They looked at each other and back at me, still laughing and the white one said: "Well,...if you really must know...your grandparents would call me God."

To which the black one replied: "They have plenty of names for me, but you can call me whatever you want, I think you get the picture."

And I wasn't even startled, I was starstruck. I had so many questions for the both of them. You know, the usual, meaning of life, that sort of stuff and they answered. After what seemed an hour of talking, "God" told me that it was time for me to wake up, my friends weren't coming anyway. He actually said wake up.

I stood up to walk away happily with all the answers everyone is seeking for, when I heard a voice behind me and it was "God" again: "Oh, by the way, all the philosophical questions you asked, those will be erased  from your mind, you don't need those. The ones about your life will remain."

I looked at him with disappointment, they waved goodbye and I woke up. A few months later I applied to go to the Academy of Design, which was a long-shot, but I got accepted. 

There were plenty more dreams I could talk about, but that's enough for now. I'm sorry to waste your time, since this is quite a long blog, but thanks for reading :)

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original(English) is here

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Jack WhiteがRadioheadはシングルの用意ができてると言ってました。それはいつになりそうですか、どの曲をレコーディングしたんですか?

AJck Jack Whiteのところにいたね…いま2曲終わってないのがあって、ひとつはidentikit。いいところだったよ、赤と黒と白とかそんなの。

えーと、僕らは彼より仕事が遅いからね(謙遜)\

やあ みんな

***

原子力が実際は化石燃料の唯一の現実的な代替策であり、非常にグリーンで持続性があるという現状で、それが悪いものであるとどう主張するのですか?そういう立場をとるということはかなり愚かな感じがします、特に現代の増殖炉やトリウム燃料の開発に懸念を示し、本質的に過去のテクノロジーの産物を破棄してしまうなんて。

廃棄物をどこに置いとくつもり?!!!

thm

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Atoms for Peace: From The Basementの予定はありますか?

  • Radioheadの未発売の曲でいちばん興奮するのはどれですか?The Present Tense? Burn the Witch? Big Boots? Riding a Bullet? Dogwander?
  • 最近のColinのインタビュー記事では、Radioheadは早くも2013年の9月にスタジオに戻り、新しいアルバムに取り掛かるということでした。あれは本当ですか?
  • 2010年のAdam BuxtonのインタビューでEd O'Brienは「レコーディングは困難だ、いつも大変な仕事。"In Rainbows"の後、僕らがこれを続けていく唯一の方法は違った精神をもってやるってこと、楽しんでね」と語っていました。The King of Limbsのセッションはより楽しんでやろうと意図されたものでしたか?

FTBの予定はないな..

radioheadの新しい50曲はみんな好きだよ

これはあきらかにnigel

***

この機会を設けてくれてありがとう!2人の熱烈な長年のファンです。

機材に関する質問がいくつかあります。

  1. Atoms For Peaceで主に使われているDAWは何ですか?
  2. pluginで気に入っているものは?いちばん使ってるのはハードウェアですか、ソフト・シンセのVSTもたくさん演奏に使われていますか?
  3. Atoms For Peaceのような曲を作るときのワークフローはどんなものですか?アイデアの大部分はあなたとThomによるもので、それを他のメンバーと肉付けしたんですか、それともメンバーみんながオリジナルのコンセプトに携わったのですか?一曲仕上がるのに通常どれくらいかかるものですか?
  4. Atoms For PeaceとRadioheadのアルバムを作る上での主な違いは何ですか?
  5. 向上心のあるプロデューサーへのいちばんのアドバイスは?
  6. アメリカにおいてエレクトロニック・ダンス・ミュージックがメインストリームへ出てくると考えますか?興味のあることが持ち上げられることで、それがたとえばFour TetやFlying Lotusなどよりエクスペリメンタルな、メインストリームにはいないようなエレクトロニックの表現者たちのためになると思いますか?

autotuneはお気に入りだね

-

あれすごくない?

***

Thom -- この写真のためにほんとにポーズをとったの?それとも運良く偶然に?

http://i.imgur.com/kh6ks.jpg

 それは僕じゃない。これはマダム・タッソー。たぶんスペル間違えてる。

***

amokがリークされたことについてどう感じますか?それから世間一般の海賊行為について。

別に..驚くことでも?

-

へえそうなの?

いいんじゃない。

***

最近読んだ本は何ですか?

ウルフ・ソレント。ジョン・クーパー・ポウイスの..

プロト・ヒッピー

thm

***

曲のアイデアがひらめいたとき、「これはRadioheadに」「こっちはAtoms for Peaceの曲にしよう」という決断はどのように行うのですか?

それはグレーな領域。グレーになってきてる。あきらかにサンプリングされてる誰かによる。君はサンプリングされてる?

tmh

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人間は生来、善ですか、悪ですか?

善だね。そっちのほうが楽だったから。

-

彼だって生まれつき自己中だったわけじゃない。?

***

良い質問が思いつきません、でもせめてhelloと言いたくて。良い作品を作り続けてくださいね。

Ahhhh!! Hello!! N

君の勝ち。ご褒美をあげよう。コーヒーが要るんだけど、君もどう?

   ねえNigel! Atoms for Peaceを創ったのはあなたたちの内の誰?(※元の質問者と別の人物による投稿)

   それは…まあ…当然Thomだよね… :)

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Atoms for Peaceは絶好調で、Jonnyは映画の曲を作ってて、Philは"Familial"を出しましたけど、EdとColinが何か、ソロ・アルバムをやるという話はありますか?彼らはそれに興味を持ってますか?

それからThomへ:Gorillazの別のアルバム制作に取り掛かっているというDamon Albarnとコラボレーションすることに興味はありますか?

Thom? n

-

「コラボレーション」の定義とは?

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Thom、どうやって自分の声を他人とシェアすることを気持ちよくできるようになったのですか?下積み時代に自分の声を作曲家/ミュージシャンとして見出そうと努力したのですか、それとも苦もなくやってのけたのですか?

下積み時代に他に誰も歌える人間がいないことがわかった。だから自分でやった。バケツの中に歌って、でもそれは別の話。stanley donwoodの肩には今ヴァイブレーターが付いてるみたいだな (※肩を震わせて笑っている)

thm

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Thomへ:Colin Greenwoodの最近の発言ではRadioheadが次のアルバムのレコーディングのために9月に集まるとのことでした。これは本当にあり得ますか?

それから、Atoms for Peace…フロリダにも?

こういうのに答え終わる頃には今年は終わっちゃうだろうね。

thm

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わたしにもThomとNigelに何か言えるチャンスがひとつある。そうするつもり。

 - (で小説では事実上君の発言は読まれることはない) ※質問者と別の人物の発言

 - うん、でも。見るかもしれないし見ないかもしれないし。

見てるのもあるよ… 思いやりのある言葉をありがとう.. いつかみんな表に出てくる.. 存在するものは.. みんなやがてそうなると思う。Nudeは12年かかった.. およそ。N

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ステージに上がる前の儀式はありますか?

たくさんたくさんたくさん、ひっくり返る時間。チューニングの時間。横になる時間 とか

thm

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あなたたちはかなりの完璧主義者で作品やレコーディングのプロセスにおいて強迫観念を持つ傾向があると知られていますが、作品のアウトプットにおいてこれは最終的に妨げとなりますか、それとも良いものですか?

完璧主義者だなんて僕は本当に思ってないし…ただ物事には時間がかかるときもあって.. 決して彼らが完璧に仕上げるからじゃないよ!でもそれが役に立つとか妨げになるとかじゃなくて.. ただそういうものだから.. 起こるように起こるってことだね.. N

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常に発展していく活動のメンバーとして訊いておかないと:Atoms for PeaceやRadioheadで音楽的に次に何をする?

それから超すてきな音楽に感謝したいし、AMOKをほんとに楽しみにしてる。ありがとね。

yey !! 君はまた来れるよ。

ここに。

次は何か?でもあいにく僕らはずーっと会ってないんだよね、また同じ部屋で顔を合わせるのは4月かな/たぶんそうかも。だといいな。

thm

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2009年のAtoms for Peaceのツアーで演奏された曲、'Lotus Flower'や'Supercollider'などは最終的にRadioheadの曲になりました。何を以ってRadioheadの曲とAtoms for Peaceの曲を区別するのですか?

あれはもちろんradioheadの曲だったから… そのときの僕はバンドに提供できるものが十分になかったんだよ!! だから えーと それをいつか埋めなきゃいけなかったの。

thm

***

Thom and Nigel,

質問の時間を設けてくれてありがとう。

  1. Thomへ。世界中で何千人もの人々へ向けて演奏することのない私達が驚くようなことで、あなたが演奏するにあたって楽しんでいることは何ですか?
  2. Nigelへ。スタジオで作ったものを演奏する行為で、作品との関係性はどのように変化しますか?他の言い方をすれば、Radioheadの作品をレコーディングするときには異なるアプローチをするのですか、たとえば、AMOKと違って自分がライブでそれを演奏しないと知るときなどに。
  3. 2人に。自分が制作/作曲/演奏したもので親しくない人に薦めるとしたらどの曲がお薦めですか、他の人が聴くべきだと思う他のアーティストの曲は何かありますか?

それは無いと思うけどね-レコーディングしてるときみたいに演奏しようなんて考えない-そんな風に思わないね.. まったく違う意識にあるからね。N

***

The King of LimbsとAMOKを作品へと昇華させた哲学にはどのような違いがありますか?それは単に「違うバンド、違う手法」みたいな感じだったんですか、それともそれ以上の何かがあったのですか?

最後にオフィス・チャートが出てから随分経ちますか、最近はどんなものを聴いてましたか?

はいはいオフィスチャートね。僕は引き続きそばにいて受けつけてるから……

別の質問を

thm

***

Thom、将来あなたの(※声の)低い音域を探る計画はありますか?Wolf at the Doorで聞かせてくれる音が大好きなんです。

2人ともすてきな音楽をありがとう。

うんぜひとも。それがあるのを知ってるし、聞いたよ。普通はその位置で仕上げないんだけど。だから向かうのにいいところだよ、木々の深く。棚の後ろとか.. じゃなくて?

thm

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サンプリングについてはどのようなスタンスですか、特にラップ・ミュージックで。'CRS One'がUs Placersで登場したときにあまり喜ばなかったと聞きました。どうしてそう思ったか私にもわかります、著作権や作品のことを考えれば。でもあなたの音楽はラップ・ミュージックと寄り添うことができる(既にそうしている)と思いますが、どうですか?

僕らはそれについてはわからないな.. でもサンプリングやヒップホップは大好きだよ.. 急進的なアートの形式だったけど90年代始めに著作権上の観点から消されてしまった.. で今や皮肉にもyoutubeは完全に著作権を無視してて誰も何もしない.. 柳に風。N

    - (CRS (Child Rebel Soldier)とKRS Oneがごっちゃになっちゃってるかも。CRSはKanye、

    Pharrell Williamsと Lupe Fiascoのコラボレーションで、"Us Placers"でThomのThe Eraserの

    メロディーとコーラスを文字通りサンプリングして上にラップをかぶせてる) ※質問者と別の人物の投稿

    - ああ、そうありがとう!私が言っていたのはThomのソロ・アルバムのことと、気に入っているこの曲について

    でした - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVFq-zqE4JM

    返信ありがとうございました!

僕が言ってるのはサンプリングについてで…もちろんヒップホップのことじゃないよ。

***

Amok大好きです。Burialとコラボレーションする予定は?

すごくそれを願ってる。僕とKieran(※Four Tet)もBurialもみんなそれぞれ忙しい/ はっきりしないから.. でも、うん、Kieranとの方が一緒にやれそうかな :) その話はしてるけどね。実際いつものように僕は詞を書かなくっちゃね

thm

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私のRadiohead初期体験はOK Computerを買うために教会(※へ行くこと)をサボったことにまつわります。クリーブランドのある冬の寒い日、車の中でそれを聴いたのです。“Climbing Up The Walls”は恐ろしいと同時に私を驚かせましたが、やはりあの経験が私の視野を多くの違ったスタイルの音楽へと開かせてくれたのだと思っています。

どんな音楽アーティストが良い音楽に対するあなたの認識を高める、もしくは変えましたか?

みずみずしい話だね!ああもう、そのリストはエンドレスだよ…まだ今でも起こってるからね!

***

"The Present Tense"もしくは"Burn The Witch"を聴ける日はいつか来るのでしょうか?

きっと最初のやつ!

***

Thom & Nigel

アナログなレコーディングの利点は何ですか?高音質のデジタル・フォーマットは一般に受け入れられると思いますか?

Nigel、"From the Basement"の新しいシーズンの知らせはありますか?

Hahaha! まずテープの話からしなきゃ。僕からしたら最大の利点といえば、ナイフを持ってテープの切れ端にまみれながら部屋に立ってるNigelを見られるってことだね。

thm

***

Fleaはどこ?

あっちにいるよ>

***

Thomへ、紅茶とコーヒーどちらがお好きなのか知りたいです。それから温かい飲み物に砂糖かハチミツを入れますか、それとも何も?これを知るのは私にとって大事なことなんです、あなたの「日常生活」やあなたがどんな人かって想像するために。 :) それからついでに、トルコのヌガー(※トルコでおみやげとしても人気のあるピスタチオの入ったヌガー)は好きですか?そうですよね!

ああ やっと大事なのが。今日は濃いコーヒーの日だね。朝7時起きの身としては。そうでもしないと僕はうざい奴だろうな?ほぼ。 thm

***

Hello Thom。去年のリスボンでのOptimus Alive festivalでRadioheadのステージの前に流れてた音楽は何だかご存知ですか?あなたがセレクトしたものですか?

あれはaCtressとZombyの僕のセレクトだったんだろうなあ

***

駆け出しの若いアーティストへ何かアドバイスはありますか?一緒に演る人を見つけることや、ミュージシャンに付随するあらゆることを対処することにおいて。

楽しむこと-音楽を作るのは人生を過ごすためのすばらしい方法なんだよ.. でもキャリアではなくまずは愛情を持ってやらないとね.. 他では許されなくなってることだよね-僕は今の新しいアーティストの進む道に障害物があるなんて考えるのは嫌いなんだよ.. 愛情を持ってちゃんとやれば、きっとうまくいく.. でも過酷な労働になることを覚悟しなくちゃいけないし、自分の成功を他人の意見で判断しないで.. 自分を信じて。N

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この機会を設けてくれてありがとうございます、ThomとNigel。

Nigel-Ultraistaがもうほんとに大好きです。ツアーのキャンセルを聞いたときは悲しかったけれど、仕方ありませんね。近い内にツアーを再開しますか?(特にシカゴは?Lincoln Hallはきっとあなたたちをもてなしてくれますよ)

うん!だといいな…Joeyはすっごく早く子供が生まれたから急いでLAに帰らなきゃいけなかったんだよ.. 残念だったけど、この上ない理由だよね!N

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今作っているAtoms for Peaceの音楽と、OK Computer/Kid A/Hail to the Thief時代の過去の音楽との最大の違いは何だと思いますか?まだ昔の音楽が好きですか、それとも好みは変わってしまいましたか?

作業のときはその瞬間にいるんだよ!振り返ってみてもどんなふうに物事が起こったのかよくわからないな。どうその状況に至ったかなんていう記憶はすぐになくなっちゃうから。

それはいつも過去にやった作品を聴き返すときのちょっとした楽しみ。 thm

***

Atoms For Peace(※という言葉)がThomのソロの一曲に由来するということは、 AmokとThe Eraserの主題に繋がりがあるということになりますか?

NIgel、ぼく と Stanley。 あと おおきななみ と たわごと

***

RadioheadかAtoms for Peaceで南米にまたツアーをしに来てくれますか?

ぜひとも。僕ら全員南米が好きだよ.. ちょっと露骨なコメントかな.. 他の4大陸も好きだよおおお N

***

多くの人がAtoms For Peaceをスーパーグループとみなしていますが、お気に入りもしくは影響を与えたスーパーグループを訊かれたら何と答えますか?

The Beatles.. N

***

あなた方から見てどの曲がもっとも「これだ」という手応えの強いものですか?

Amokで?Amokは凝ってるかも、詞が頭の中のほんとに違う部分からやってきたからってだけなんだけど、僕にはしばらくそれがいいような気がしてて。でもそれはいちばんの誇りであり毎回いたたまれない思いをさせられる。そんなふうに言っていいの?

そうみたいだな

thm

***

The King Of LimbsはTalking HeadsのRemain in Lightに多大な影響を受けてるような感じがします。Amokも同じような経緯を辿っていますか?リズムで何を表現していますか?Talking Headsのような隔絶と混乱、ハウスやテクノの催眠性、もしくは全然違うものですか?

これは直接そうしたわけではなくて、きっと故意じゃない.. それは-音楽が好き.. 音楽を聴く.. 音楽を作る。でも新しい音楽を作っている間は他の音楽を聴かないってことで.. remain in lightは大好きだけどね。N

***

Hello Thom Yorke and Nigel Godrich! Radioheadと比較してAtoms For Peaceでやるのはどんな感じですか?

すてきなディナーの後でアイスクリームを食べてるみたいな感じ。N

***

どうしてStanley Donwoodと共に活動することになったのか、何年にも渡って自分の表現に一貫して寄り添ってもらうのはどんな感じなのかぜひ知りたいです。

彼と会ったのはアート・カレッジの最初の日で僕よりいい帽子とスーツを身につけてた。それがムカついて。で、この人物をほんとにまったく好かないまま終わるか、それとも残りの人生を一緒にやっていくかってことを考えた。

***

Thomへの質問: Lotus Flowerのダンスを段階毎に教えてくれるビデオは出ますか?もしくはあの動きをベースにしたフィットネスDVDが出る可能性は?

そしてNigel: 音楽プロデューサーを目指す人間へのクイック・アドバイスはありますか?

クイック・アドバイス.. 簡単だと思わないこと…楽しく愛情をもってやること。ちゃんとやればうまくいくよ。そうでなくても、少なくとも楽しみは得られるだろうね!N

***

Thom、アコーステックのアルバムをやる予定はありますか?あなたはもっとも美しい声を持つすばらしい歌い手のひとりですから。あなたのピアノ/ギターだけのアルバムを熱望してるということです。ご検討お願いします。

僕から頼んでおいたよ。

***

AMOKはディスコグラフィー全体のどこに位置しますか?それより特にアルバムの中で気に入ってる曲は何ですか?

いちばん右に。まとまりの。まさに今僕らの頭の中にあるもの.. 取り組んでる/終えたばかりのものみんながそうであるように… N

***

Hey Thom, Nigel。将来Atoms for Peaceがアメリカ(ニューヨーク以外で)でライブする予定はありますか?

あなたの作品が好きです。

Oh yes!

***

原子力の何がいけないんですか?あなたは原子力反対の環境保護主義者らしいですね。甚大な環境汚染よりも原子力を利用することが今はより良い解決策のように思います。とにかく、火力発電所の方が原子力発電所よりも多くの放射性物質を生み出すということを言いたいです。

この問題に対してのあなたのスタンスを裏付けるものは何なのですか?

コストが掛かり過ぎる。使用済み核燃料の再処理施設が存続の鍵を握っていると思う。それはもう起こり始めてる。調べればわかるよ。僕には良い環境保護活動家の友人が何人かいて、別の方法を考えたり、この無謀さを理解してるよ、でも最近行われたどの実行可能性調査でも、コストの点からしても、原子力はますますばかげたことのように思えてくる。でもそれはつまり、迅速にエネルギーの節約をしないといけないってことなんだよ、'徹底的に'ね。

thm

***

あなたの創造性が明白に無傷であり、大半を搾取していくひどいビジネスの中においても妥協をしないでいられるのはなぜだと思いますか?力ずくで、衝突しないようにしてたとか?できそうなことを最大限に、バンドがやりたいようにやるためには何が必要なのでしょうか?

リスナーとして、Kid Aが未完成の状態にあるなんてまったく想像がつきません。アストラル界の完全な投射から引き離されたように思えました。()あなたも同じように感じますか?(他のアルバムと比べてかもしれませんが)すでに少しは存在していたものへ意識を向けていたとしても、だとしても、わたしたちリスナーとは違いますし、労を惜しまない仕事がその作品に備わったと気付いています?

これはあなたたち2人(とco.)がしてくれたことに感謝を述べる唯一の機会となるでしょう。たとえこれに答えていただけないとしても。あなたはいつだって耳にしていると思っています。でもあなたの音楽は変わって、一人の人間として私は非常に貴重で、離れがたい存在なんだと思えるように私の精神を育んでくれました。だから、感謝しています。

ありがとう.. 強く信じる方へ一途でいることと共同体としての意志かな、僕に言えるのは.. N

***

Flying Lotusは2010年のツアーのすばらしいオープニング・アクトでした、今後のツアーでも再び彼にやってもらうことは考えていますか?

彼とはなかよしだからね!すごいやつだよ。今は彼も前より人気者だからやりたがるかわからないけど でも うん あれはほんとによかった、よかったよ

thm

***

限定版のダブルLPを予約すべきかな?

Yes

***

Thom、どうしてJonnyの名前からHを取っちゃったの?

うん でもあいつはなくなったことにきづいてないよ。

***

ソングライティングのプロセスは?

ここに壁があるとする。そしたら僕は足を引きずって退散する。

***

歌詞へどのくらい情熱を傾けていますか…もしくは…どのくらい「真摯に」人々に歌詞を受け止めてほしいと思いますか?Radioheadの歌詞には意識の流れと心からの懺悔とが混ぜ合わさっているようなものもありますよね。こう尋ねるのは歌詞を分析するのが好きだからなんです。どんなものを選ぼうとアートと捉えることができるのは当然なんですけど、どうやって歌詞を書いたのかただ興味があって。あなたの物の見方からなのですか?

懺悔?!! むむ 僕は全然そう思わない。M Stipe(※R.E.M.のマイケル・スタイプ)の歌詞を懺悔だと思うの?そこにあるのは意識の流れでもあって戯言でもあってただの音でもあるんだよ。言葉が合わさったなら、合わさったってことなんだよ。接着剤は固定しててやり直しはできないの。やっかいなことになる前にはね。

役に立った?んなわけないよな。

***

Hi Thom and Nigel、昨日レコードを受け取って、気に入っています。The Eraserよりもよりダンス・ミュージック的ですね、FeralやIdentikitに近いような。

AfPで将来リリースがあると期待していいんでしょうか、それともよりダンス的な曲がRadioheadのやり方で始まっていてうまく次のアルバムで形になっていくのでしょうか?

そのとおり?ああ、それはいいですね、そうなっていくだろうと僕は思います。ダンス・チューン?yeah!それはradioheadで育まれていくことに限らないですけど。あのメロディーに夢中になるのも恋しいですからね、時々は…

まずは、心から愛することのできる音楽を作ってくれるお二人にお礼を言いたいです。

Nigelに訊きたいのですが、かつてあったようにもし"From The Basement"のアイデアが多岐にわたったら彼は様々なアーティストに対してライトをあてることができるものなのですか?最近の"Basement"に限れば純粋にRadioheadが元になっていて、他の人があのスタジオでまたやるのを見れたらいいな、と。

Thom、 Colin Greenwoodの発言ではRadioheadは9月頃に9番目のスタジオ・アルバムの作業を始めるとのことでしたが、将来Radioheadがどのようなものを出すのか期待をふくらませることができる、ヒントみたいなものを教えてくれますか?アイデアのまとまりは既にみんなのところにあるんですかね?

それから、Radioheadの去年のツアーでどうしてイギリスでは3日しかなかったのか説明はしてもらえますか?僕の友達もたくさん会いたがってたけど行けませんでした。

あとはAtoms For Peaceのツアーはすぐに行われますか?

いや、それは違うな-radioheadのftbがいちばん目を引いただけだよ.. 新しいシーズン全体ではsky arts UKでfeist、willis earl beal、chilli peppersをやったし.. 探してみて。どこかに埋もれちゃってるみたいだな。それと君の質問では-FTBは好きでやってる仕事のようだけど、かなり限られたコアな音楽ファン層を除いてはそんなに支持が得られてないんだよ.. もっと得られたらいいよね、でも不満を言ってるわけじゃないよ。量より質が大事だということ.. N

***

Nigel、2週間前に東京で「次郎」に行ったんですよね?寿司で好きなのは何ですか?まぐろ?

ウニ!いいものだったらね。

***

今のところ成し遂げたことでいちばん大きなことは何ですか?

うんんんんんんんん 去年トロントでああいうことがあったけどツアーをやり遂げたこと。あと照明。cliveに一緒に演奏してもらったこと。怖かったよ。そして暗くもなったけど最後にはそれを払いのけてやりきったことにみんな誇りを持てた。ロンドンのO2でもね。楽な時間じゃなかった、でもよかったよ。

thm

***

Thom www.tumblr.comに行って#radioheadのタグがついたものを見たことがありますか?過激なファンたちがそこにはいますよ。

oh yes http://whathaveyoudonetomyface.tumblr.com

***

あなたの音楽のすばらしいところのひとつは目立たない些細な部分が何度も聴く内に明らかになってくるところです。(今、有名な例としては"In Rainbows" のReckonerでのヴォーカル)

質問は-あなた方が一緒に作ったレコードすべてで、誰も取り上げていない、サプライズとなるようなおもしろい部分はありますか?

あるいは、そういったことでAmokにおいて特に誇りに思う部分は何かありますか?

ああ.. 誰も取り上げてないこと?でも君はあきらかにやってるよね.. わざと隠したりしないと僕は思うし、だからそれを気づかれてない部分だなんて言う人がいると、誰かさんはいつも驚いちゃうんだよね.. えへへ!N

Read more…
 日本語訳はコチラ
-
Jack White says Radiohead have a single ready to go. When can we expect that/ what songs did you record for it?

We was at AJck Jack Whites places... we now have two unfinished tracks, one of which is identikit. Its nice there, red and black and white nshit.
err, we work slower than him (umderstatement)\

hi everyone

***

How can you advocate that nuclear power is bad when in actuality it's the only realistic alternative to fossil fuels and vastly greener and more sustainable? It seems like a fairly asinine position to take, especially considering modern development in breeder and thorium reactors, essentially nullifying the issues of old technology.

where you gonna put the waste guy?!!!
thm

***

Have you got plans for Atoms for Peace: From The Basement?

  • Which unreleased Radiohead track are you most excited about? The Present Tense? Burn the Witch? Big Boots? Riding a Bullet? Dogwander?
  • In a recent interview-article with Colin, it was reported that Radiohead will go back into the studio as early as September 2013, to try and record the new album. Is there any truth to that?
  • In an interview with Adam Buxton in 2010, Ed O'Brien said: "Making record’s been hard, it’s always been a slog. After "In Rainbows", we decided the only way that would work for us to carry on is to actually do it in a different spirit, to enjoy it." Were The King of Limbs sessions considerably more enjoyable, as per your plan?

No plans for FTB..
I like all 50 of the new radiohead songs
this is obviously nigel

***

Thanks for doing this! Been a huge fan of both of yours for ages.

I have some production related questions:

  1. What DAW is primarily used for Atoms For Peace?
  2. Any plugins you absolutely love? Mostly using hardware or do soft synth VSTs get a lot of play too?
  3. What is the workflow like for creating Atoms For Peace songs? Do most ideas originate with you Thom and then flesh out with the other members, or do those members also contribute original song concepts? How long does one song generally take from start to finish?
  4. What are the main differences between production of an Atoms For Peace album and production of a Radiohead album?
  5. Best advice for aspiring producers?
  6. What do you guys think of the rise of mainstream electronic dance music in the US? Do you think the surge of interest also benefits the more experimental, non-mainstream electronic acts, like Four Tet & Flying Lotus, for example?

Im a big fan of autotune

-

its amazing isn't?

***

Thom -- were you actually posing for this picture, or was it a happy coincidence? http://i.imgur.com/kh6ks.jpg

That is not me. This is madam Tussauds. misspelt probably.

 ***

How do you feel about the amok leak? And music piracy in general

Well.. unsurprised?

-

oh did it?
how nice.

***

What books have you read recently?

Wolf Solent. john cowper powys..
a protohippie
thm

***

When you're tinkering with a song idea, how do you make the determination that "this one's for Radiohead" vs. "this is an Atoms for Peace song"?

its a grey area. getting greyer. obviously depends on who is being sampled. are you being in sampled?
tmh

***

Is man good or evil by nature?

Definitely good. That was an easy one.

-

he is not a selfish git by nature. ?

***

I have no good questions, but thought I'd say hello. Keep up the good the work.

Ahhhh!! Hello!! N

you win. i would like to give you a prize. i need a coffee, would you like one?

   Hey Nigel! Which one amongst you initiated the formation of Atoms for Peace?

    Well... like... Thom obviously.... :)

***

With Atoms for Peace in full swing, Jonny composing film scores, and Phil's "Familial" out in the wild, has there been any talk of Ed and Colin giving it a go and perhaps recording their own solo albums? Have they shown any interest in doing it?

Also, For Thom: Would you ever be interested in collaborating with Damon Albarn were he to start working on another Gorillaz album?

Thom? n

-

define "collaboration?"

***

Thom, how did you become comfortable sharing your voice with others? Were your formative years a struggle to find your voice as a writer/musician or was it more of a painless evolution?

my formative years involved finding no-one else to sing the songs. so doing it myself. and singing into a bucket, but thats another story. stanley donwood has a kind of vibrator on his shoulder right now
thm

***

For Thom: Colin Greenwood has recently been quoted saying that Radiohead are regrouping this September to record the next album. Is this definitely in the cards?

Also, Atoms for Peace...also for Florida?

by the time I've finished answering these there will be no time left this year.
thm

***

I have one chance to say something to Thom and Nigel. I'm going to make it count.

( - And by writing a novel you've virtually guaranteed it won't be read.)

- Oh well. Maybe they see it maybe they don't.

I see some of it... and thanks for the kind words.. Everything will surface one day.. it all exists.. and so it will eventually get there I'm sure. Nude took 12 years.. ish. N

***

Do you have any pre-stage rituals?

many many many, upside down time. tuning up time. lying down time etc
thm

***

You guys are known for being pretty perfectionist and borderline obsessive with your material and the recording process, do you feel like this ultimately hinders or betters your creative output?

I don't think we're perfectionists really... just sometimes thiings take time.. not because they end up perfect by any means! But it neither helps nor hinders.. it just is what it is.. happens how it happens.. N

***

Hi. As members of acts that are constantly developing, I have to ask: what's next for Atoms for Peace and/or Radiohead musically?

Also I'd like to thank you both for your sweet ass music and I'm really looking forward to AMOK. Thanks guys.

yey !! you can come again.
here.
whats next? well shit we havent seen each other in a LONG time, we will be in the same room again in april/ may i guess. i hope.
thm

***

Some songs played on the Atoms for Peace tour in 2009, such as 'Lotus Flower' and 'Supercollider' ended up becoming Radiohead songs. What is it that determines a Radiohead song from an Atoms for Peace song?

they were mod definitely radiohead tunes... me didnt have enough material to give to the band by then!!. so i had to err fill some time.
thm

***

Hey Thom and Nigel,

Thanks for taking the time to answer some questions.

  1. For Thom, what's something you enjoy about performing that might surprise those of us who don't perform for thousands of people the world over?
  2. For Nigel, how does the act of performing the material you produce in the studio change your relationship with it? In other words, do you approach things differently in producing a Radiohead record, for example, when you know you won't be performing it live in comparison to AMOK where you will be?
  3. For both, what are a few songs you'd recommend produced/written/performed by yourselves that you'd recommend to someone unfamiliar and what are a few songs from other artists that you think others should hear?

Thanks!

Nothing is as conceived as it may seem - You don't consider what performing something would be like when you're recording it - you just dont thinnk about it.. It's a different hat completely. N

***

What do you think is the difference in philosophies in how The King of Limbs and AMOK have been promoted? Is it just a "different band, different method" sort of thing, or is there something more to it?

It's been a while since the last Office Chart, what have you guys been listening to lately?

yes yes office chart. i keep getting close and then being asked......
another question
thm

***

Hello,

Thom, do you plan to explore the low end of your range more in the future? I love how you sound on Wolf at the Door.
Thanks for the amazing music to you both.

Yes i would love to. I know its there, ive heard it. its not naturally where i end up. So it's a good place to head, deep into the woods. The back of the cupboard.. ya nah?
thm

***

What is your stance on samples, especially in rap music? I heard when CRS One came out with Us Placers, you weren't very happy about it. I understand where you were coming from, you know artist's rights and stuff, but it seems like your sound could go (and does already) hand in hand with rap music, any thoughts?

We don't know what that is.. But we're big fans of sampling and hip hop.. It was a burgeoning art form which got stamped out in the early nineties due to copyright actions.. and now ironically youtube totally ignores copyright and no one does anything.. Thanks willow. N

     ( - Might be getting CRS (Child Rebel Soldier) confused with KRS One. CRS was a short

      collaboration between Kanye, Pharrell Williams and Lupe Fiasco, "Us Placers" is rapped over

      Thom's The Eraser with the melody and chorus sampled verbatim.)

      - Oh ok awesome! I was referring to Thom Yorke's solo album, and this song -  

       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVFq-zqE4JM

       which I loved. Thanks for the response!

I mean sampling ... not hip hop obviously.

***

I love Amok. any plans to collaborate more with Burial?

I very much hope so. Both me Kieran and Burial are all as busy/ vague as each other.. Well ok Kierans more together maybe :) But we talks about it. in fact as usual i gotta write some words
thm

***

My earliest experience with Radiohead involved skipping church to buy OK Computer and listening to it in my car on a cold, winter day in Cleveland. “Climbing Up The Walls” both terrified and astonished me at the same time, and I still credit that experience with opening my eyes to a lot of different styles of music.

What musical artist completely shaped and/or challenged your perception of what good music is?

Thats a lush story! Oh man the list is endless.. it still happens now!

***

Will we ever hear "The Present Tense" or "Burn The Witch"?

def the first one!

***

Thom & Nigel

What are the advantages of recording analog? Do you think high-resolution digital formats will ever become commonly accepted?
Nigel, any news on a new season of "From the Basement"?

Hahaha! Gotta find the tape first. A big advantage for me is watching Nigel standing in a room full of bits of tape and a scalpel.
thm

***

Where's Flea?

hes over there>

***

Dear Thom, I would like to know if you prefer tea or coffee? And do you use sugar or honey or nothing in your hot drink? It is very important for me to know that, because of my imagination of your "normal-life" and what person you are. :) Additionally, do you like turkish nougat? I think you do!

ah finally something important. today is a strong coffee day. 7am deserves it. im a pain in the arse without if that helps? mostly. thm

***

Hello Thom. Do you know what music was playing before Radiohead went on at the Optimus Alive festival in Lisbon last year? Do you select that?

i would think that would have been my selecta of aCtress and Zomby

***

What advice do you have for any younger artists starting out? In terms of finding people to play with, dealing with all the other stuff that comes with being a musician?

Enjoy it - making music is a wonderful way to spend your life.. but do it for the love before a career... it's getting so unforgiving out there - I hate to think of the obstacles in the way now for new artists.. if you love it and you are good, you will be fine.. but be prepared to have to work hard and don't judge your success by other peoples opinions.. have self belief. N

***

Thank you so much for doing this, Thom and Nigel.

Nigel- I absolutely love Ultraista. I was sad to hear about the tour cancellation, but things happen. Will you guys go back on tour in the near future? (In particular, Chicago? Lincoln Hall would love to host you)

Yes! We hope so... Joey had a baby VERY early so he had to rush back to LA.. It was disappointing but for the greatest of reasons! N

***

What do you think the biggest differences are between the music you're making now with Atoms for Peace, and the older music from the OK Computer/Kid A/Hail to the Thief days? Do you still like the older music, or have your tastes changed?

we are in the moment when we work! not quite sure how anything has happened in retrospect. immediately loose the memory of how you've got wher eyou are.
which is always my fav bit of listening back to work weve done. thm

***

Seeing how Atoms For Peace comes from one of Thom's solo songs, is there a thematic connection between Amok and The Eraser?

NIgel, me An Stanley. and big waves and shit

***

Do you think come back to South America on tour with Radiohead or Atoms for Peace?

I would love to. We all love S America.. That's quite a broad comment.. I love the other 4 continents tooo N

***

Since many people would consider Atoms For Peace a supergroup, what would you say is your favorite (or most influential) supergroup?

The Beatles.. N

***

Which track was the toughest to "get right" in your guys' eyes?

on Amok? maybe Amok was tricky , only cuz the lyrics came from a really different headspace, which took me a while to feel good about. but its the one im most proud of and gets me in the ass everytime. can i say that? apparently so
thm

***

It seems like The King Of Limbs took a lot of influence Remain in Light by the Talking Heads. Does Amok follow a similar course? What are you expressing with rhythm? Disassociation and confusion like Talking Heads, the hypnotism of house and techno, or something totally different?

I think this is not direct or certainly not intentional.. I mean - you like music.. you listen to music.. you make music. But you don't listen to other music while you're making new music.. I love remain in light though. N

***

Hello Thom Yorke and Nigel Godrich! How is it working with the Atoms For Peace group compared to Radiohead?

Like eating ice cream after a lovely dinner. N

***

I'd love to know how you got involved with Stanley Donwood, and what it's like having someone be such a consistent part of your image over the years?

I met him first day at art college and he had a better hat and suit on than me. That pissed me off. So i figured i'd either end up really not liking this person at all, or working with him for the rest of my life.

***

My question for Thom: Will there be a step by step instructional video for the Lotus Flower dance? Or possibly a fitness DVD based on the moves?

and Nigel: Any quick advice for someone trying to make it as a music producer?

Quick advice.. Don't expect it to be easy... do it for fun and love. If you're good you will succeed. If you arent you'll have fun at least! N

***

Thom, would you do an accoustic album? You have one of the most beautiful voices ever and is an amazing singer. In a way, we crave for an album with only you and a piano/guitar. Please, consider it.

I just asked him that.

***

Where do you guys think AMOK fits in in your entire discography? More speciically, what's your favorite song from the album?

It's on the far right. of the pile. It's whats in our heads right now.. as is everything when you're doing/just finished it.... N

***

Hey Thom, Nigel. Any future plans for Atoms for Peace to play in the US (other than New York)?

Love your work.

Oh yes!

***

What's wrong with nuclear power? You seem to be an environmentalist yet anti-nuclear. It seems like a better solution for now to have nuclear plants than a ton of pollution. I mean coal power plants produce more radiation than nuclear plants anyway.

What's your reasoning behind your stance on the issue?

it is too costly. i think the storage of renewables will tip thier balance of viability. that is starting to happen. read around and you'll see. i have some good environmentalists friends who think otherwise and understand the desperation of this, but all the feasibility studies that have recently been done and costings make nuclear increasingly looks nuts. however it means we have to DRASTically reduce our consumption of energy quite quickly.
thm

***

Why is it do you think that your creative integrity remains so apparent and uncompromised in such a harsh business that seems to strip most of theirs? Brute force and sheer will? What makes it possible for a band to do what they want as much as you seem to be able to?

As a listener, I simply cannot imagine Kid A being in an unfinished state. It seemed to have been pulled from the astral plane a complete vision. Do you feel the same way (maybe in comparison to other albums)? As though you were channeling something that had already existed a little bit, even though, unlike us listeners, you are aware of all the painstaking work that went into its creation?
This will probably be my only chance to say thank you for what you two (and co.) have done for me. Even if you don't answer this. I'm sure you hear it all the time, but your music changed and grew my mind in ways I consider invaluable and inseprable from who I am as a person. So, thank you.

Thanks.. Single mindedness with a strong direction and will as a collective I would say.. N

***

Flying Lotus was a fantastic opener on the 2010 tour, so would you consider having him open for you again on the upcoming tour?

He's a mate of mine! Hes so great. He's a lot more popular now so im not sure he'd wanna but yes it was a great great vibe.
thm

***

Should I be preordering the limited edition double LP?

Yes

***

Thom, why did you steal the H from Jonny's name?

yes but he hasn't spotted it's gone yet.

***

What is your songwriting process?

this here is a hedge. im going to drag myself backwards through it.

***

How much of your soul do you put into your lyrics...or...how 'seriously' do you wish people to take your lyrics? Some of Radiohead's lyrics seem a mixture between stream of consciousness and the genuinely confessional. I ask because I love analyzing lyrics. Obviously, anyone can take any art however they choose to, but I'm just curious how you write them, from your perspective?

confessional?!! mm i don;t think so at all. do you think M Stipe's lyrics are confessional? what is within is also stream of consciousness is also gibberish and also just sounds. by the time the words have stuck, they have just stuck. the glue is set and i can't undo. before that is a messy bit.
does that help? ofcourse not.

***

Hi Thom and Nigel, I received the vinyl yesterday and love it. It seems to be much more dance music than either The Eraser, closer to Feral and Identikit.

Is that the kind of release we can expect from AfP in the future, or will these more dance-y tunes start to work their way into Radiohead's next album as well?

you got it? oh that's good, thats how it shoud come out i guess. dance tunes? yeah! that doesn't necessarily mean it will bleed into radiohead. i miss getting stuck into those kind of melodies sometimes so...

Firstly, I'd like to thank both of you for making music I love with al my heart.
I'd like to ask Nigel whether he could shed some light on if the "From The Basement" idea will ever branch out like it once did, to a variety of artists? The only recent "Basement" things seem to be purely Radiohead based, it'd be nice to see what other people could do in that studio again.
Thom, now that Colin Greenwood has been quoted as saying Radiohead will begin work on a ninth studio album around September, could you give us an idea of what kind of things we can expect from Radiohead's output in the future? Is there a set of ideas you all have ready?
Also, could you explain as to why there were only 3 UK dates on Radiohead's last tour? A lot of my friends who wanted to see you couldn't.
Speaking of which, will an Atoms For Peace tour happen soon?

No that's not true - just radiohead ftb gets the most attention.. we just did a whole new season which was on sky arts in the UK feist, willis earl beale, chilli peppers.. look for it. It seems to buried somewhere. And there is your answer - FTB is a labour of love but it doesn't get much love apart from a pretty small concentrated section of music fans.. I wish it got more, but I'm not complaining. Quality over quantity I say.. N

***

Nigel, you went to Jiro at Tokyo 2 weeks ago, right? What is your favorite sushi? Tuna?

UNI! only if it's good.

***

What is your biggest achievement so far?

ummmmmmmm getting through the last tour despite all that had happened in toronto. and the lights. and having clive play with us. i was terrified about it, then it got dark but in the end we were all very proud of managin to pull it off. even in the O2 in London. it was not an easy time, but it was cool.
thm

***

Thom have you been to www.tumblr.com and seen some of the stuff under the #radiohead tag? you have some rabid ass fans out there.

oh yes http://whathaveyoudonetomyface.tumblr.com

***

One of the great qualities of your music is the way minor details become apparent even after many listens (a now famous example is the "In Rainbows" vocal in Reckoner).

My question - from all the records you have made together, are there any interesting details that you remain surprised no-one seems to have picked up on?
Alternatively, are there any such details in Amok that you are especially proud of?

Ahh.. no one picked up on that? Well obviously you did.. I guess you don't intentionally hide stuff so when somebdy says its a un-noticed detail then one is always surprised.. Yip yip! N

Read more…

I am finished.

The Wrustien Manifesto.

 

The Cause of Cancer.

 

I embody the Tao.

 

I am an orca.

 

I never want to give up.  I never want to die.  Every so often I feel bone tired, exhausted, weak and weeping, but there is always more, an entire world, an entire universe.  I need to expand my borders not enclose them.  I need to ask questions and comprehend the answers.  I need to open my eyes again-completely naked-vulnerable and exposed, but not exploited.  I am always more, I am always surviving, one step further, one heart wrenching in-breath grip on terror teardrop further.  I need the elation of fear and hope, the escape of fantasy, the grace of forgiveness and the ever present blessing of family.  I am still alive.  I am still wildly alive, amongst all this rapturous silence.  I am a scapegoat.  I want to study the alchemy of regeneration.

 

This is hell.

 

It is one path to follow morals and laws blindly without question and completely another to come to an understanding of those same morals and values through personal experience as to whether or not you yourself agree or disagree personally. 

I do not agree with stealing but I am a communist.

I do not agree with emotional sterilization or intellectual privatization but I need money.  I think in gestalt.

My education should include all avenues of thought in as far as my society is incapable of my advancement.  I need to be constantly challenged and exposed, in many ways.  Ignorance only leads to corruption, manipulation, and destructive masochism of self.  Violence.  I am wrathful.  I will always seek what is prohibited.  In order to become an adult, one must be exposed to many different theories, philosophies and expectations.  This is crucial.  The Vampire will rise or fall to the expectation placed upon them.  I am an objectivist.  This is not to say that there is to be no enjoyment in labor but that the labor should be stimulating.  I know money is a barrier to intellectual development due to the fact that transportation and housing are priorities to comfort.  Is it possible to incorporate advanced study without creating societies based upon demeaning menial labor forces?  Is it possible to develop a world where no one is a slave and everyone excels in their potential by choice? 

What causes addiction and depression in modern society? 

Addiction and depression result from lack of stimulation.  What is possible to avoid these symptoms?  I have wallowed in self-denial and deception.  I tell white lies.

In order for me to develop into an adult I must seek the truth.  I am an adult legally but am I an adult mentally.  I am not yet capable of supporting myself financially.  This is crucial, always crucial, and essential to understanding the change and evaluation of myself.

Truth is the most important fundamental expectation in the development of the Vampiric race.  When I lie intentionally or am in self-denial it replicates upon all those exposed to agree or believe in me.  I pursued exposure in order to understand what appeared to be withheld from my own personal development and in so doing developed an addiction to deceit in order to perpetuate my exposure resulting eventually in my decay of character and loss of self.  This is supplemental to my personality based upon defiance, the only expectation I had once placed upon myself.

 

My desire to learn was crippled by a lack of exposure advanced by my society and as a result I became masochistic and hypocritical of myself in and of my actions and of others, resulting in constant dissatisfaction.  I broke the law of the government and chose to become involved with illegal intoxicants.  American ideals of success and satisfaction are entirely misplaced in that honesty is often mistaken for cruelty and weakness is fostered-emotional sterilization through constant acceptance and compliance.  I am diagnosed bipolar.  I committed suicide.  I know that strength of mind, strength of heart, and strength of character result from success, understanding, survival, and truth.  I am a child built on endurance and I do not believe that love will save us; I believe that ingenuity and truth will.  I am a Republican based upon Plato’s Republic.  I want to be a philosopher queen.  I am developing my own philosophy and I name myself Rhye Wrust and my philosophy is Wrustien. 

 

A few examples from Wrustien philosophy:

 

“Invoke the raw and eliminate war within the self.”

“God is the touch within the ripples.”

“The girl who cried rape and the sensual orgasms she inspires.”

“I am a blizzard.”

“Fray the ribbon.”

“In truth we trust.”  Should adorn our dollar.

 

I should have followed my own advice in the beginning and not have been so placid and altruistic in my acquaintances and friendships.  Loneliness is no excuse for tolerance.  If I want to live, I must learn to protect myself.  I am psychic and telepathic or neither, I can’t control it yet. This denial in my development at the most basic stages has lead me to fall into corruption and malaise.

 

Education. 

 

The North is razed liberal.  The Asian Invasion-Psychic warfare, parts of America were so heavily affected that Stockholm syndrome caused advanced amnesia-this is a war for our minds.  Teachers psychically turn students into satellites to further their own political agendas.  Psychic warfare, corruption of self and truth occurs from unsterilized education.

Politics have no place in education.

I was born my grandfather’s dog.

Is it the fault of America that other countries do not uphold, regulate and protect their own legislation?  Is it right to cripple one country in favor of the damage done to another?  I sympathized in empathy to the point of self-destruction and betrayed myself, my family, and my ideals.  I am American.  Americans should work to develop other countries through support rather than war then the world should reach a point of ground zero cease fire in the interest of all.  All countries should focus on internal development rather than international plays for power and those that can assist another should but should out of choice not out of post-industrial neo-colonial altruistic guilt.  Vampires as one race need to be fully aware of the truth of their own endangerment; we are not hormone driven adrenaline junkies.  We are intelligent and emotional beings advanced in our wisdom, knowledge and relations.  Freedom from oppression derives from truth.  I should not diminish myself in order to understand failure which is exposure to diverse ideas but I should aspire to reach my own potential in order to achieve success.  Exposure does not have to result in exploitation.  Surviving exposure, recognizing weakness, and recreating the self, hence evolving is what I become not what I was or who I am.

 

Shift of Self Awareness and Focus.

 

In order to survive I must be highly adaptive and dynamic otherwise I will fall prey to the sands of time.  I cannot cling to the past.  I must move forward voraciously and refocus who I am.  I am a being not a car to be possessed.  I am my body.  The East psychically hits the West stealing our minds while we rest.  The memories I have of myself predate within my adolescence due to the fact that I often did not feel like myself in my adulthood.  I felt isolated, entrapped, and alone-locked within my own body.  As a child I had one night terror about insects that made my room appear static.  I am a Vampire.  Where do I come from?  Insects consume and reproduce.  Am I an insect?  I dreamt of incest with my grandfather as a baby.

 

I fucking hate head doctors.  I alone am responsible for my mind and body but I have a maker and many lovers who take responsibility for me.  I long to know my maker.  I am Carthage.

 

I love passionately and the objects of my affection and desperation are and always will be my own and the divine mystery of life itself, including the Earth but not limited to it.  I love my own existence.  I meant for these changes to occur, I simply pursued both my shame and suffering to a conclusion of masochistic destruction and denial in an attempt to preserve myself from myself.  This is heaven, the denial of self and nature.  I can relinquish the past and embrace the future without reaching a suicidal point of destruction either for myself or for the Earth.  I want my own apocalypse.  This is Karma and the power of thought.

I am healing myself now.  

I know I need help.  

I regret.

 

All of this that has happened to me is a result of my ancestry.  I am American.  My legal name is Rhael Joy Laramy.  I am my mother’s daughter; I was raised without a father.  I am glad I became a Vampire and that the temptation existed.  My own personal mysteries persist.  Why am I the way I am?  Why am I this lucky?  My dreams, visions, art and poetry drown me in what I cannot understand occult within me.  The friendships I forge and the reality I long to live within hone impact my nature in such a way as to release a passion within myself that I was unprepared to comprehend.  I now focus on control due to the fact that I do not believe in dualism but instead hold fast to my relativistic relaxed perspective of reality.

 

I sacrificed everything I was for a rush and a challenge.  I am as strong as I think I am.

 

I am a Nazi.

 

I am Satahnic.

 

I admire Hitler.  Hitler instituted a system that eliminated decay.

 

I love decay.

 

Love and forgiveness for the Bible tells me so do not excuse poor behavior and poor choices.  Action is the only way to redeem oneself.  It is far more productive to tread lightly in silence along a mountain than to wreath yourself in violence at the foot of an avalanche of callousness.  Vampires are immortal.  Vampires are born.  Heaven and hell exist as incentives, but also exist as spiritual places of consciousness acting upon the physical body in very significant ways.  Attack a person psychically or spiritually and you attack them significantly physically in the real world affecting the mental and emotional state of the person, influencing their personal choices and limiting their freedom.  Mental disorders result from such actions of attack and guidance.  What is the nature of spiritual war?  Between countries?  Why isn’t protection and awareness taught to adolescents in school?

What is the purpose of evol?  I become evol when I am hated.  I need acceptance and love.

There are many Gods who possess the power over life and death, and there is only god which I define as the ripple of existence.  There are many Architects and their laws are not always obvious.  Never break a law you do not understand.  Never break the law of an Architect.  Do I agree with this previous statement-if the structure has a weakness it is meant to fall?  The laws of God are the laws of the Architect who designs the structure of Earth.  Satahn is but one God and one Architect whose reality I explore.

 

Law.  Law.  Laws.  Lie.  Lie.  Liar.  Laws and liars result from fear and lack of trust.  To become an Architect one must escape becoming a child to one and even then there are councils who pass judgment upon your actions and your ideals in this world.  I am a child of Earth.  I am a sheep who is becoming a fox.  I believe in a greater cumulative good in order to defend myself as a whole against those who would consume my individuality. 

 

I am an old poet.

 

I am a newborn musician.

 

One Day.

 

Neon outline skeleton dinosaur stood upon the frontlines of sand the lovers gripped each other tight humane embrace and pitted polka dot spiders hiss hiss until I am driven mad to suicide but I daren’t jump from the rock face itch itch I open my head to inhale the spider and twinkle into the bucket another plum and tack sitting in the lotus position until I become brave and walk away through the foliage jumping the metal fence I receive a hug from my friend and it starts to pour magenta spotlight from the focus of mine eyes and I see spider webs in the shadows hide in the pools of light to save myself from terror while I become soaked and explore my foreign campus.

 

This is heaven.

 

Forgive me forgive me I cannot swear enough at the innocent amnesia and betrayal it is never enough for this shameless being to end so young and so old I seem only beginning against to see past my notes.

I always talk to strange voices and long to keep my anger intact and hold on to honesty which is the veil gracing truth.  In heaven the endless basketball courts seem to wait next to the chapel where everyone sings and worships in a Catholic manner.  The doorman offers me my black socks.  I steal a child’s shoes and fall from the clouds to earth as another school bus arrives full of children.  I wonder when the skies will turn blue and free this sad dream from her rotting tooth.

There is no such thing as a tool for purification, such as cinnamon, coffee, sage, water or tobacco, they are merely intoxicants.  I purify myself through thought.

Sleepless nights full of worry for the ones I love and once knew are like heavy chains of metal that remind me of you.

 

I am an atheist, I know god.

 

I am apolitical.

 

I am a naturalistic conservative.

 

I am a hopeless romantic.

 

I am an artist.

 

I am curious.

 

I draw in arabesque.

 

I create red.

 

I am an inkblot.

 

I voted for the antichrist.

 

Heartache.

 

When you touch that beautiful doll and feel the tug of the heartbeat you stole does it remind you of me?  Does the dull thud strike uneven in your unmade mistaken mistress?  On this side of the fence the grass seems green with envy that all I am belongs to someone else’s playboy-cowboys who crucify me, lockjaw me, and hang me out with the dirty laundry I hung within my self-defense-self-demise-I am one you would want to know.

 

Will Power.

 

Never think of the devil, never speak his name, he’ll steal my tears and whitewash my sorrows until I have forgotten my very name-a slave trader by day, mystic magician of bloodstain blackmail-twist and limit the body gutless fish swim through frost heartless beasts of red eyed pawns fawns who bear fangs and claws burden the children who dare to break all the laws of God.

Never take for granted the gifts you possess-my body is beautiful and intricate, my spiritual self-complex and I should never for any reason let another take from me what I am because it is my gift and my burden to support, my purpose, my reason for existing, for being alive.  This is what makes me Vampire-my heart, my mind, my spirit, my innate truths and memories.

My soul has burned and become a ghost, my mind ruins my best intentions yet I feel most alive in the freedom of lack of doubt.  The spirit is the heart and will, it is not its own entity-it is the combination that channels through the blood and asserts itself, defends itself, speaks, winks, dreams.  It is my spirit that hungers for the intimacy of another’s touch.  It is my spirit that feels empathy, compassion, and longing.  When I listen to my ghost weep I feel regret for the beautiful creature I am becoming.

The soul I purified was a result of a personal tactile grip on Biblical fundamentals.  Why did I choose to let a Vampire kill my soul?  The temptation was arrogant and brave.  Do I know the truth of what I am becoming?  There is caution aired in the wisdom of my elders yet heed it I do not yet?  I am young and as such test all of the boundaries I can without realizing that boundaries offer protection and not enslavement though the latter is often felt.  The choice is not prohibited, the choice exists and in order to understand my choice I must announce myself to you.

 

America is incredibly sheltered and I was naïve in thinking I could control and fight blindly in a war based upon invisible liars and my own self-deceit.

Positive thought and action is cultivated through temperance and experience-appreciation and respect.  I benefit from soul loss, rape lies and unnecessary persecution.  I betray those I love which results in my betrayal of self.  I am dismantled, undead, and full of small regrets.

It is never healthy to love another person more than yourself.  I know that now.  Love is infinite but narrow minded and a fixation.  But I am not a mother yet.

I fell in love with an owl, his sincerity, humility, character and charm-he reminded me of my childhood and the lover from my dreams, my silent partner in crime.  I could not let go of him.  I could not allow myself to accept that he existed, let alone that he liked or found value in me given my body dysmorphia, my masochistic hatred, personal addictive nihilistic tendencies and isolation and incredible naiveté that most men had either taken advantage of or mocked.  My pride is wounded perhaps more than my heart by these insane choices to have sex.  I am shy and bold.  It is humiliating that my worst desires turned into outward repulsive paranoia publicly which only increased my shame and self-loathing but which now liberate me to be my nature.  Insanity is mentally liberating because it is the action of instinct.

 

The butterfly becomes the moth.

 

I am a red rose or so I have been given by a lover.  My experimentation with solar and Vampiric psychic energy derived from my nature as well as with human beings which resulted in a greater lesson and my exposure to the fourth dimension or what I perceive as the fourth dimension.  I am white.  I am clairsentient.  I do not believe in a higher self.  I believe in the union of concentric expression which becomes within my action one argentic being.  This is how I will achieve personal agency. 

The practice of Kundalini yoga awakened in me my psychic Vampire self.  It was crack cocaine to the little girl I was with a broken heart and the sexual tension of a horse-hedonistic and raw.  I was able to harness my sexual energy for my own private artistic expression and personal agency to control and manipulate my world.  I am a whore who became a monk who became a whore who becomes a monk again.  I understand now that if I do not understand and trust in my true nature and desires with full acceptance that I will only become corrosive in my actions and associations.  I am very anal and judgmental.  “Honk if you think I’m Jesus” adorns my dark red Dodge Spirit.  This philosophy is my brainchild coal lab whore nation.

 

I am gnostic.

 

I am left eye dominant.

 

I am a savant.

 

I am an apple tree.

Read more…

micro and mega

travelling through space and time.

i had awoken one morning with a fire burning in my solar plexus

so strong was this force that

it surprised me out of sleep

the feeling was like being visited by a very old friend

who i had not seen for quite some time, 

it said my name, it said my name,

through my thoughts...

and repeated my name, until i responded to it...

"what are you doing here?!" i asked.

the response was spoken 

very clearly and very simply.

it asked me...

" where are you?"

"I'm here!"

"where are you?"

" in my room"...

every time i answered a picture of what i was saying came into my mind, visualizing myself getting farther and farther away.

"where are you?"

"...in my room, in Langley, B.C. Canada"...

"where are you ?"

"... in my room, in Langley, B.C Canada the world called "earth"!"...

at this point i could see the earth as this small jewel slowly getting farther and farther away. lost in a sea of small diamonds. 

now as i played this game of question and answer with this warm energy pulsing through me...

each time i expanded upon where i was in comparison to the world the universe and beyond ....i could visualize so clearly me, my body, in relation to the space and distance from where "i" actually was.

once the voice had gotten my mind to visualize myself far enough outside myself...for i had zoomed all the way into outer space, the voice asked me again while floating around in the blackness of space surrounded by stars.

"where are you?"

"I'm here"...

and with saying this i was back in my body...the energy that had been there inside me had left as quickly as it had arrived...

and my mind exploded with this overwhelming understanding of what just had just happened inside my consciousness. i had been stretched like a rubber band into the boundaries of our galaxy and shot back with a great force back into my body, my room, my direct location. for the first time it dawned on me that i am the microcosm and the macrocosm. i am a house. and that day i was visited by a very special guest.

when the teacher knocks, I answer.

Read more…

Nigel Godrich Interview Fasterlouder.com.au

http://www.fasterlouder.com.au/features/35013/Nigel-Godrich-interview-Not-just-the-guy-who-makes-Radiohead-albums

From Radiohead to Atoms For Peace and Ultraísta, ED SHARP PAUL speaks to Nigel Godrich about the many strings on his musical bow.

Nigel Godrich is a man with many strings to his bow. In addition to being one of the most sought-after producers in the world (don’t ask, he’s not interested) and Thom Yorke and Radiohead’s preferred collaborator, Godrich brought out a debut album with his new band Ultraísta last November – and it was damn good, too. He has also been busy producing Atoms For Peace’s debut album Amok, released last week in Australia. Back in December FL got the chance to chat with Godrich about all of his projects – from Radiohead to Atoms – and in his opaque-yet-charming way he opened up about his all-star collaborators and Ultraísta’s back-to-front creative process.

I was put onto Ultraísta by the whole “Radiohead producer starts a band route”. Are you hearing a lot of this, does it giving you the shits a bit?
Yeah, I mean a lot of that kind of stuff is the reason why you don’t do [different] stuff I guess. It’s enough to stop you from embarking on something like this, but I sort of said to myself that life is short and it’s not supposed to be some massive statement. It’s a hard thing to do something without it being [seen as] some career move or some defining change that was supposed to show you something true that you’ve never seen before, something very profound. It’s not that at all, but at the same time I don’t want to be paralysed by the fear of that happening. It’s going to happen, and it’s going to be a comparison of what everyone says. I had the intention to try to put it out without even mentioning my name. Of course they wouldn’t let you get away with that.

A record label would not be happy to have that opportunity squandered I take it?
Not even that, just anyone who works for you in any commercial capacity, they can’t not say that. My thought was that this is going to happen for a while and then maybe people will stop saying it at some point.

I suppose if the thing is good it starts to develop its own life at some point, if it sucks you’ll forever be tied …
The best it can ever be is, “Oh, that’s the guy that makes the album.” I think everybody has their opinion and their right to like it and not like it. I feel like if we continue through this record, and we will continue working on other stuff, and another record comes out then the next record’s reference might be the last record, rather than other things that I’ve done.

Then it’s a straightjacket of your own choosing I suppose.
Of my own making!

Have you been pleased with the reception?
The best parts have been when people don’t know who I am or don’t realise. People dig it: It’s very simple, it’s not too complex, it’s not supposed to be. I just enjoy making things generally anyway, be it music, or video, or whatever. To be able to just have the freedom in your life to be able to choose something and make it, and have the time to do it and then deciding that you really should release it in some form or another – it’s sort of stupid not to. And then for people to be able to see that and speak positively about it, it’s like a dream situation. I don’t expect too much from this, it’s just something that was a natural thing to do as a complement to other things that I do. We all thought similarly about it – we all do other things as well.

It makes sense, you spend that much time in the studio, it’s probably a natural thing to want to initiate something.
Yeah, you just make music all the time. I mean that’s the thing if you’re friends. The interesting thing is that you tend to do something vaguely accessible but artistic, that’s the idea anyway. And that’s a very difficult thing to do. So forgive us our sins, that’s what we’re attempting.

Was it a conscious effort to keep the sonic palette limited?
Yeah, absolutely. It’s trying to find the formula, in a way. Certainly coherence is something. Certainly the simplicity of the music, the way that the keyboards work – there’s no guitars in it – for example. That’s a conscious decision obviously, just the way that simple music can work, that’s what we’re trying to do here. The syncopation in the rhythm.

Your idea of simple isn’t everyone’s idea of simple. I think there are some really interesting things happening in the rhythm. Listening, I found it hard to pick where Joey [Waronker, drummer] stopped and the programmed beats began. Were you trying to blend things in that way?
Absolutely, there’s electronic elements that he’s playing to and stuff that he’s playing [alone], and of course there’s lots of different combinations of things. That is the principal idea, machines can be repetitive and man can be repetitive too. When it’s a human being repetitive you have an imperceptible movement that makes it feel something that a machine can’t feel. So you’re trying to take the rules of a 15-minute Afrobeat track. It’s repetitive to the point of it being like robots, but there’s this feel and this movement in there, which is uniquely human.

It’s funny really, it all started with the advent of people wanting to scratch records and cut records together, and sampling beats and sampling breaks. And that has really changed the way that music is constructed now – people start to think like that; people use a bit of software called Ableton, but all it does is work in loops, everything’s in loops. It’s like the music is a loop and it’s just on a grid and everything becomes so contained in a square. At the same time there’s this interesting thing where hip-hop and dance music of the late ’80s is made up of other music that has been chopped into little pieces.

Taking those ideas of a new way of constructing music, very much based around rhythm – the music is more like an afterthought. It’s like move first and find out where the beginning of your bar is and that’s where your musical play starts, not afterwards. It’s just sort of chucking around ideas like that really, and at the same time, trying to make them sound like something somebody would want to listen to.

I read that the recording process was just you and Joey compiling little sketches and that Laura came quite late in the process, is that right?
Yeah that’s true. We had started down our road of electronic, robotic, organic-fusion. That was the instigation of the idea – for making the music in the first place. We thought we’d just make these tracks [with another friend who plays bass], but I took all the music off and started again because it took it in a direction that was too solid when it needed to be fluid. Eventually it was just Joey’s and my stuff and then we sort of said, “I’m just going to turn this into a little arrangement, everything I have here” “So maybe your piece of music might be a minute-and-a-half long, then you choose to repeat it for one section, and then you choose to start it again from the beginning. Then what you’re left with is something that speaks musically because the rhythm changes.

We had a bunch of those [parts], basically, and we thought it would be interesting – we could see the potential of doing something more like pop music, ‘cause [what we had] was so cool, but [in that form] it would only ever be some weird experiment that musicians would listen to. [We wanted to] dovetail it with something a little bit more – not mainstream – but something that people would want to hear. [So we thought], “How about finding someone who isn’t really a musician, someone who can sing but never really thought about it, someone who just has a good aesthetic and would be willing to work with us.”

So we followed that route a little bit and were trying to flyer-post in art schools: we got some very interesting, colourful replies, but nothing that was of any use to us. Eventually, just by chance, we got in touch with Laura [Bettinson] through a friend of a friend, and she thing we were looking for. She actually is this very visual person, very artistic. She’s a musician but she’s not a singer-songwriter. She’s not out there playing piano and singing.

It sounds like a hell of a process, are you daunted by the thought of having to go through all that again?
No because I got really good at it, so I can do it really quickly now.

Given your obvious dance/electronic leanings, I’m interested by how many guitar bands you’ve worked with in the past. How do you choose the people you work with as a producer?
Well I haven’t really done any for a while. The only record I’ve produced apart from Radiohead and Thom and this … I don’t know what the last one was before this one. I did Here We Go Magic last year. Here We Go’s a guitar band I suppose, but they’re definitely in the sort of alt-rock thing: They certainly push those buttons and understand very much about grooves. Before that I honestly couldn’t tell you … I don’t really do that anymore. My life is full of amazing, interesting people who I make music with. I spend a lot of time with Thom and we do an awful lot of different stuff. I mean music for the Atoms [For Peace] thing, then all the Radiohead stuff. It’s kind of a big, interesting, complicated machine, with so many people involved.

Are you kind of “on call” for those guys at the moment?
No, no, no. I don’t know if it seems like that, but it’s not. The thing is that Thom writes – he’s very prolific and he’s written a lot of songs, so many great songs that have not been released. For example, when we were in rehearsal to do the “Live From The Basement” performance, that’s when they worked up ‘Staircase’, which is a song that we recorded for King Of Limbs, but it just wasn’t quite down. It just came together. That was a very old song. Those things came out of nowhere, it came out when the recording was done on the TV show, [it was] actually recorded for that, [and then] was released as a single. A couple of years ago when he [Thom Yorke] did the ‘Harry Patch’ song – the only one that got through originally – that was something that was, not a sort of cast-off, but part of a recording session. There seemed to be a reason to put that record out. The guy [111-year-old World War I veteran Harry Patch], he had just died and … we were in the studio together doing something else. It came to fruition very quickly, when you make this music it’s very exciting, you actually just want it to go out right away, it’s frustrating.

This Atoms record, they’ve been sitting on it for a year … Radiohead are on tour so that’s the way that things work, it’s just what happens, happens when it happens. As for the future, all of them have just finished a tour so they’re all on holiday.

You’re going to be working on Atoms For Peace in the near future, is there any touring on the horizon with Ultraísta?
Absolutely, we’re working on promoting until next summer. There will be some Atoms thrown in, but this is Ultraísta what we’re doing right now. We’re going back to America in the New Year … and we are going to Japan.

Are you going to be able to sneak us in by any chance?
On that leg we’re not, but I think later in the year. I’ve never been to Australia so I really want to come.

Read more…

Another Draft

The Wrustien Manifesto.

 

The Cause of Cancer.

 

Am I an orca?  Do I embody the Tao?  Am I becoming a great white shark?

 

I never want to give up.  I never want to die.  Every so often I feel bone tired, exhausted, weak and weeping, but there is always more, an entire world, an entire universe.  I need to expand my borders not enclose them.  I need to ask questions and comprehend the answers.  I need to open my eyes again-completely naked-vulnerable and exposed, but not exploited.  I am always more, I am always surviving, one step further, one heart wrenching in-breath grip on terror teardrop further.  I need the elation of fear and hope, the escape of fantasy, the grace of forgiveness and the ever present blessing of family.  I am still alive.  I am still wildly alive, amongst all this rapturous silence.  I am a scapegoat.  I want to study the alchemy of regeneration.

 

This is hell.

 

It is one path to follow morals and laws blindly without question and completely another to come to an understanding of those same morals and values through personal experience as to whether or not you yourself agree or disagree personally. 

I do not agree with stealing but I am a communist.

I do not agree with emotional sterilization or intellectual privatization but I need money.  I think in gestalt.

My education should include all avenues of thought in as far as my society is incapable of my advancement.  I need to be constantly challenged and exposed, in many ways.  Ignorance only leads to corruption, manipulation, and destructive masochism of self.  Violence is ignorant.  I am wrathful.  I will always seek what is prohibited.  In order to become an adult, one must be exposed to many different theories, philosophies and expectations.  This is crucial.  The Vampire will rise or fall to the expectation placed upon them.  I am an objectivist.  This is not to say that there is to be no enjoyment in labor but that the labor should be stimulating.  I know money is a barrier to intellectual development due to the fact that transportation and housing are priorities to comfort.  Is it possible to incorporate advanced study without creating societies based upon demeaning menial labor forces?  Is it possible to develop a world where no one is a slave and everyone excels in their potential by choice? 

What causes addiction and depression in modern society? 

Addiction and depression result from lack of stimulation.  What is possible to avoid these symptoms?  I have wallowed in self-denial and deception.  I tell white lies.

In order for me to develop into an adult I must seek the truth.  I am an adult legally but am I an adult mentally.  I am not yet capable of supporting myself financially.  This is crucial, always crucial, and essential to understanding the change and evaluation of myself.

Truth is the most important fundamental expectation in the development of the Vampiric race.  When I lie intentionally or am in self-denial it replicates upon all those exposed to agree or believe in me.  I pursued exposure in order to understand what appeared to be withheld from my own personal development and in so doing developed an addiction to deceit in order to perpetuate my exposure resulting eventually in my decay of character and loss of self.  This is supplemental to my personality based upon defiance, the only expectation I had once placed upon myself.

 

My desire to learn was crippled by a lack of exposure advanced by my society and as a result I became masochistic and hypocritical of myself in and of my actions and of others, resulting in constant dissatisfaction.  I broke the law of the government and chose to become involved with illegal intoxicants.  American ideals of success and satisfaction are entirely misplaced in that honesty is often mistaken for cruelty and weakness is fostered-emotional sterilization through constant acceptance and compliance.  I am diagnosed bipolar.  I committed suicide.  I know that strength of mind, strength of heart, and strength of character result from success, understanding, survival, and truth.  I am a child built on endurance and I do not believe that love will save us; I believe that ingenuity and truth will.  I am a Republican based upon Plato’s Republic.  I want to be a philosopher queen.  I am developing my own philosophy and I name myself Rhye Wrust and my philosophy is Wrustien. 

 

A few examples from Wrustien philosophy:

 

“Invoke the raw and eliminate war within the self.”

“God is the touch within the ripples.”

“The girl who cried rape and the sensual orgasms she inspires.”

“I am a blizzard.”

 

I should have followed my own advice in the beginning and not have been so placid and altruistic in my acquaintances and friendships.  Loneliness is no excuse for tolerance.  If I want to live, I must learn to protect myself.  I am psychic and telepathic or neither, I can’t control it yet. This denial in my development at the most basic stages has lead me to fall into corruption and malaise.

 

Education. 

 

The North is razed liberal.  The Asian Invasion-Psychic warfare, parts of America were so heavily affected that Stockholm syndrome caused advanced amnesia-this is a war for our minds.  Teachers psychically turn students into satellites to further their own political agendas.  Psychic warfare, corruption of self and truth occurs from unsterilized education.

Politics have no place in education.

I was born my grandfather’s dog.

Is it the fault of America that other countries do not uphold, regulate and protect their own legislation?  Is it right to cripple one country in favor of the damage done to another?  I sympathized in empathy to the point of self-destruction and betrayed myself, my family, and my ideals.  I am American.  Americans should work to develop other countries through support rather than war then the world should reach a point of ground zero cease fire in the interest of all.  All countries should focus on internal development rather than international plays for power and those that can assist another should but should out of choice not out of post-industrial neo-colonial altruistic guilt.  Vampires as one race need to be fully aware of the truth of their own endangerment; we are not hormone driven adrenaline junkies.  We are intelligent and emotional beings advanced in our wisdom, knowledge and relations.  Freedom from oppression derives from truth.  I should not diminish myself in order to understand failure which is exposure to diverse ideas but I should aspire to reach my own potential in order to achieve success.  Exposure does not have to result in exploitation.  Surviving exposure, recognizing weakness, and recreating the self, hence evolving is what I become not what I was or who I am.

 

Shift of Self Awareness and Focus.

 

In order to survive I must be highly adaptive and dynamic otherwise I will fall prey to the sands of time.  I cannot cling to the past.  I must move forward voraciously and refocus who I am.  I am a being not a car to be possessed.  I am my body.  The East psychically hits the West stealing our minds while we rest.  The memories I have of myself predate within my adolescence due to the fact that I often did not feel like myself in my adulthood.  I felt isolated, entrapped, and alone-locked within my own body.  As a child I had one night terror about insects that made my room appear static.  I am a Vampire.  Where do I come from?  Insects consume and reproduce.  Am I an insect?  I dreamt of incest with my grandfather as a baby.

 

I fucking hate head doctors.  I alone am responsible for my mind and body but I have a maker and many lovers who take responsibility for me.  I long to know my maker.  I am Carthage.

 

I love passionately and the objects of my affection and desperation are and always will be my own and the divine mystery of life itself, including the Earth but not limited to it.  I love my own existence.  I meant for these changes to occur, I simply pursued both my shame and suffering to a conclusion of masochistic destruction and denial in an attempt to preserve myself from myself.  This is heaven, the denial of self and nature.  I can relinquish the past and embrace the future without reaching a suicidal point of destruction either for myself or for the Earth.  I want my own apocalypse.  This is Karma and the power of thought.

I am healing myself now.  

I know I need help.  

I regret.

 

All of this that has happened to me is a result of my ancestry.  I am American.  My legal name is Rhael Joy Laramy.  I am my mother’s daughter; I was raised without a father.  I am glad I became a Vampire and that the temptation existed.  My own personal mysteries persist.  Why am I the way I am?  Why am I this lucky?  My dreams, visions, art and poetry drown me in what I cannot understand occult within me.  The friendships I forge and the reality I long to live within hone impact my nature in such a way as to release a passion within myself that I was unprepared to comprehend.  I now focus on control due to the fact that I do not believe in dualism but instead hold fast to my relativistic relaxed perspective of reality.

 

I sacrificed everything I was for a rush and a challenge.  I am as strong as I think I am.

 

I am a Nazi.

 

I am Satahnic.

 

I admire Hitler.  Hitler instituted a system that eliminated decay.

 

Love and forgiveness for the Bible tells me so do not excuse poor behavior and poor choices.  Action is the only way to redeem oneself.  It is far more productive to tread lightly in silence along a mountain than to wreath yourself in violence at the foot of an avalanche of callousness.  Vampires are immortal.  Vampires are born.  Heaven and hell exist as incentives, but also exist as spiritual places of consciousness acting upon the physical body in very significant ways.  Attack a person psychically or spiritually and you attack them significantly physically in the real world affecting the mental and emotional state of the person, influencing their personal choices and limiting their freedom.  Mental disorders result from such actions of attack and guidance.  What is the nature of spiritual war?  Between countries?  Why isn’t protection and awareness taught to adolescents in school?

What is the purpose of evol?  I become evol when I am hated.  I need acceptance and love.

There are many Gods who possess the power over life and death, and there is only god which I define as the ripple of existence.  There are many Architects and their laws are not always obvious.  Never break a law you do not understand.  Never break the law of an Architect.  Do I agree with this previous statement-if the structure has a weakness it is meant to fall?  The laws of God are the laws of the Architect who designs the structure of Earth.  Satahn is but one God and one Architect whose reality I explore.

 

Law.  Law.  Laws.  Lie.  Lie.  Liar.  Laws and liars result from fear and lack of trust.  To become an Architect one must escape becoming a child to one and even then there are councils who pass judgment upon your actions and your ideals in this world.  I am a child of Earth.  I am a sheep who is becoming a fox.  I believe in a greater cumulative good in order to defend myself as a whole against those who would consume my individuality. 

 

I am an old poet.

 

I am a newborn musician.

 

One Day.

 

Neon outline skeleton dinosaur stood upon the frontlines of sand the lovers gripped each other tight humane embrace and pitted polka dot spiders hiss hiss until I am driven mad to suicide but I daren’t jump from the rock face itch itch I open my head to inhale the spider and twinkle into the bucket another plum and tack sitting in the lotus position until I become brave and walk away through the foliage jumping the metal fence I receive a hug from my friend and it starts to pour magenta spotlight from the focus of mine eyes and I see spider webs in the shadows hide in the pools of light to save myself from terror while I become soaked and explore my foreign campus.

 

This is heaven.

 

Forgive me forgive me I cannot swear enough at the innocent amnesia and betrayal it is never enough for this shameless being to end so young and so old I seem only beginning against to see past my notes.

I always talk to strange voices and long to keep my anger intact and hold on to honesty which is the veil gracing truth.  In heaven the endless basketball courts seem to wait next to the chapel where everyone sings and worships in a Catholic manner.  The doorman offers me my black socks.  I steal a child’s shoes and fall from the clouds to earth as another school bus arrives full of children.  I wonder when the skies will turn blue and free this sad dream from her rotting tooth.

There is no such thing as a tool for purification, such as cinnamon, coffee, sage, water or tobacco, they are merely intoxicants.  I purify myself through thought.

Sleepless nights full of worry for the ones I love and once knew are like heavy chains of metal that remind me of you.

 

I am an atheist, I know god.

 

I am apolitical.

 

I am a naturalistic conservative.

 

I am a hopeless romantic.

 

I am an artist.

 

I am curious.

 

I draw in arabesque.

 

I create red.

 

I am an inkblot.

 

I voted for the antichrist.

 

Heartache.

 

When you touch that beautiful doll and feel the tug of the heartbeat you stole does it remind you of me?  Does the dull thud strike uneven in your unmade mistaken mistress?  On this side of the fence the grass seems green with envy that all I am belongs to someone else’s playboy-cowboys who crucify me, lockjaw me, and hang me out with the dirty laundry I hung within my self-defense-self-demise-I am one you would want to know.

 

Will Power.

 

Never think of the devil, never speak his name, he’ll steal my tears and whitewash my sorrows until I have forgotten my very name-a slave trader by day, mystic magician of bloodstain blackmail-twist and limit the body gutless fish swim through frost heartless beasts of red eyed pawns fawns who bear fangs and claws burden the children who dare to break all the laws of God.

Never take for granted the gifts you possess-my body is beautiful and intricate, my spiritual self-complex and I should never for any reason let another take from me what I am because it is my gift and my burden to support, my purpose, my reason for existing, for being alive.  This is what makes me Vampire-my heart, my mind, my spirit, my innate truths and memories.

My soul has burned and become a ghost, my mind ruins my best intentions yet I feel most alive in the freedom of lack of doubt.  The spirit is the heart and will, it is not its own entity-it is the combination that channels through the blood and asserts itself, defends itself, speaks, winks, dreams.  It is my spirit that hungers for the intimacy of another’s touch.  It is my spirit that feels empathy, compassion, and longing.  When I listen to my ghost weep I feel regret for the beautiful creature I am becoming.

The soul I purified was a result of a personal tactile grip on Biblical fundamentals.  Why did I choose to let a Vampire kill my soul?  The temptation was arrogant and brave.  Do I know the truth of what I am becoming?  There is caution aired in the wisdom of my elders yet heed it I do not yet?  I am young and as such test all of the boundaries I can without realizing that boundaries offer protection and not enslavement though the latter is often felt.  The choice is not prohibited, the choice exists and in order to understand my choice I must announce myself to you.

 

America is incredibly sheltered and I was naïve in thinking I could control and fight blindly in a war based upon invisible liars and my own self-deceit.

Positive thought and action is cultivated through temperance and experience-appreciation and respect.  I benefit from soul loss, rape lies and unnecessary persecution.  I betray those I love which results in my betrayal of self.  I am dismantled, undead, and full of small regrets.

It is never healthy to love another person more than yourself.  I know that now.  Love is infinite but narrow minded and a fixation.  But I am not a mother yet.

I fell in love with an owl, his sincerity, humility, character and charm-he reminded me of my childhood and the lover from my dreams, my silent partner in crime.  I could not let go of him.  I could not allow myself to accept that he existed, let alone that he liked or found value in me given my body dysmorphia, my masochistic hatred, personal addictive nihilistic tendencies and isolation and incredible naiveté that most men had either taken advantage of or mocked.  My pride is wounded perhaps more than my heart by these insane choices to have sex.  I am shy and bold.  It is humiliating that my worst desires turned into outward repulsive paranoia publicly which only increased my shame and self-loathing but which now liberate me to be my nature.  Insanity is mentally liberating because it is the action of instinct.

 

The butterfly becomes the moth.

 

I am a red rose or so I have been given by a lover.  My experimentation with solar and Vampiric psychic energy derived from my nature as well as with human beings which resulted in a greater lesson and my exposure to the fourth dimension or what I perceive as the fourth dimension.  I am white.  I am clairsentient.  I do not believe in a higher self.  I believe in the union of concentric expression which becomes within my action one argentic being.  This is how I will achieve personal agency. 

The practice of Kundalini yoga awakened in me my psychic Vampire self.  It was crack cocaine to the little girl I was with a broken heart and the sexual tension of a horse-hedonistic and raw.  I was able to harness my sexual energy for my own private artistic expression and personal agency to control and manipulate my world.  I am a whore who became a monk who became a whore who becomes a monk again.  I understand now that if I do not understand and trust in my true nature and desires with full acceptance that I will only become corrosive in my actions and associations.  I am very anal and judgmental.  “Honk if you think I’m Jesus” adorns my dark red Dodge Spirit.  This philosophy is a coal lab whore nation or collaboration.

 

I am gnostic.

 

I am Christian.

 

Thank you for your time and I am an apple tree but my grandfather tells me I put an orange in my pocket.

Read more…

The Wrustien Manifesto.

 

The Cause of Cancer.

 

I am an orca and I worship the Tao. 

 

I never want to give up.  I never want to die.  Every so often I feel bone tired, exhausted, weak and weeping, but there is always more, an entire world, an entire universe.  I need to expand my borders not enclose them.  I need to ask questions and comprehend the answers.  I need to open myself again, my mind, my heart, my spirit-completely naked-vulnerable and exposed, but not exploited.  I am always more, I am always surviving, one step further, one heart wrenching in-breath grip on terror teardrop further.  I need the elation of fear and hope, the escape of fantasy, the grace of forgiveness and the ever present blessing of family.  I am still alive.  I am still wildly alive, amongst all this rapturous silence.  I am a scapegoat.

 

This is hell.

 

It is one path to follow morals and laws blindly without question and completely another to come to an understanding of those same morals and values through personal experience as to whether or not you yourself agree or disagree personally. 

I do not agree with stealing but I am a communist.

I do not agree with emotional sterilization or intellectual privatization but I need money.  I think in gestalt.

My education should include all avenues of thought in as far as my society is incapable of my advancement.  I need to be constantly challenged and exposed, in many ways.  Ignorance only leads to corruption, manipulation, and destructive masochism of self.  Violence is ignorant.  I am wrathful.  I will always seek what is prohibited.  In order to become an adult, one must be exposed to many different theories, philosophies and expectations.  This is crucial.  The Vampire will rise or fall to the expectation placed upon them.  I am an objectivist.  This is not to say that there is to be no enjoyment in labor but that the labor should be stimulating.  I know money is a barrier to intellectual development due to the fact that transportation and housing are priorities to comfort.  Is it possible to incorporate advanced study without creating societies based upon demeaning menial labor forces?  Is it possible to develop a world where no one is a slave and everyone excels in their potential by choice? 

What causes addiction and depression in modern society? 

Addiction and depression result from lack of stimulation.  What is possible to avoid these symptoms?  I have wallowed in self-denial and deception.  I tell white lies.

In order for me to develop into an adult I must seek the truth.  I am an adult legally and mentally but I am not yet capable of supporting myself financially.  This is crucial, always crucial, and essential to understanding the change and evaluation of the self.

Truth is the most important fundamental expectation in the development of the Vampiric race.  When I lie intentionally or am in self-denial it replicates upon all those exposed to agree or believe in me.  I pursued exposure in order to understand what appeared to be withheld from my own personal development and in so doing developed an addiction to deceit in order to perpetuate my exposure resulting eventually in my decay of character and loss of self.  This is supplemental to my personality based upon defiance, the only expectation I had once placed upon myself.

 

My desire to learn was crippled by a lack of exposure advanced by my society and as a result I became masochistic and hypocritical of myself in and of my actions and of others, resulting in constant dissatisfaction.  I broke the law of the government and chose to become involved with illegal intoxicants.  American ideals of success and satisfaction are entirely misplaced in that honesty is often mistaken for cruelty and weakness is fostered-emotional sterilization through constant acceptance and compliance.  I am diagnosed bipolar.  I committed suicide.  I know that strength of mind, strength of heart, and strength of character result from success, understanding, survival, and truth.  I am a child built on endurance and I do not believe that love will save us; I believe that ingenuity and truth will.  I am a Republican based upon Plato’s Republic.  I want to be a philosopher queen.  I am developing my own philosophy and I name myself Rhye Wrust and my philosophy is Wrustien. 

 

A few examples of Wrustien philosophy:

 

“Invoke the raw and eliminate war within the self.”

“God is the touch within the ripples.”

“The girl who cried rape and the sensual orgasms she inspires.”

“I am a blizzard.”

 

I should have followed my own advice in the beginning and not have been so placid and altruistic in my acquaintances and friendships.  Loneliness is no excuse for tolerance.  If I want to live, I must learn to protect myself.  I am psychic and telepathic or neither. This denial in my development at the most basic stages has leaded me and I fall into corruption and malaise.

 

Education. 

 

The North is razed liberal.  The Asian Invasion-Psychic warfare, parts of America were so heavily affected that Stockholm syndrome caused advanced amnesia-this is a war for our minds.  Teachers psychically turn students into satellites to further their own political agendas.  Psychic warfare, corruption of self and truth occurs from unsterilized education.

Politics have no place in education.

I was born my grandfather’s dog.

Is it the fault of America that other countries do not uphold, regulate and protect their own legislation?  Is it right to cripple one country in favor of the damage done to another?  I sympathized in empathy to the point of self-destruction and betrayed myself, my family, and my ideals.  I am American.  Americans should work to develop other countries through support rather than war then the world should reach a point of ground zero cease fire in the interest of all.  All countries should focus on internal development rather than international plays for power and those that can assist another should but should out of choice not out of post-industrial neo-colonial altruistic guilt.  Vampires as one race need to be fully aware of the truth of their own endangerment; we are hormone driven adrenaline junkies.  We are intelligent and emotional beings advanced in our wisdom, knowledge and relations.  Freedom from oppression derives from truth.  I should not diminish myself in order to understand failure which is exposure to diverse ideas but I should aspire to reach my own potential in order to achieve success.  Exposure does not have to result in exploitation.  Surviving exposure, recognizing weakness, and recreating the self, hence evolving is what I become not what I was or who I am.

 

Shift of Self Awareness and Focus.

 

In order to survive I must be highly adaptive and dynamic otherwise I will fall prey to the sands of time.  I cannot cling to the past.  I must move forward voraciously and refocus who I am.  I am a being not a car to be possessed.  I am my body.  The East psychically hits the West stealing our minds while we rest.  The memories I have of myself predate within my adolescence due to the fact that I often did not feel like myself in my adulthood.  I felt isolated, entrapped, and alone-locked within my own body.  As a child I had one night terror about insects that made my room appear static.  I am a Vampire.  Where do I come from?  Insects consume and reproduce.  Am I an insect?  I dreamt of incest with my grandfather as a baby.

 

I fucking hate head doctors.  I alone am responsible for my mind and body but I have a maker and many lovers who take responsibility for me.  I long to know my maker.

 

I love passionately and the objects of my affection and desperation are and always will be my own and the divine mystery of life itself, including the Earth but not limited to it.  I love my own existence.  I meant for these changes to occur, I simply pursued both my shame and suffering to a conclusion of masochistic destruction and denial in an attempt to preserve myself from myself.  This is heaven, the denial of self and nature.  I can relinquish the past and embrace the future without reaching a suicidal point of destruction either for myself or for the Earth.  I want my own apocalypse.  This is Karma and the power of thought.

I am healing myself now.  I know I need help.  I regret.

 

All of this that has happened to me is a result of my ancestry.  I am American.  My legal name is Rhael Joy Laramy.  I am my mother’s daughter; I was raised without a father.  I am glad I became a Vampire and that the temptation existed.  My own personal mysteries persist.  Why am I the way I am?  Why am I this lucky?  My dreams, visions, art and poetry drown me in what I cannot understand occult within me.  The friendships I forge and the reality I long to live within hone impact my nature in such a way as to release a passion within myself that I was unprepared to comprehend.  I now focus on control due to the fact that I do not believe in dualism but instead hold fast to my relativistic relaxed perspective of reality.

 

I sacrificed everything I was for a rush and a challenge.  I am as strong as I think I am.

 

I am a Nazi.

 

I am Satahnic.

 

I admire Hitler.  Hitler instituted a system that eliminated decay.

 

Love and forgiveness for the Bible tells me so do not excuse poor behavior and poor choices.  Action is the only way to redeem oneself.  It is far more productive to tread lightly in silence along a mountain than to wreath yourself in violence at the foot of an avalanche of callousness.  Vampires are immortal.  Vampires are born.  Heaven and hell exist as incentives, but also exist as spiritual places of consciousness acting upon the physical body in very significant ways.  Attack a person psychically or spiritually and you attack them significantly physically in the real world affecting the mental and emotional state of the person, influencing their personal choices and limiting their freedom.  Mental disorders result from such actions of attack and guidance.  What is the nature of spiritual war?  Between countries?  Why isn’t protection and awareness taught to adolescents in school?

What is the purpose of evol?  I become evol when I am hated.  I need acceptance and love.

There are many Gods, and there is only god which I define as the ripple of existence.  There are many Architects and their laws are not always obvious.  Never break a law you do not understand.  Never break the law of an Architect.  Do I agree with this previous statement?  The laws of God are the laws of the Architect who designs the structure of Earth.  Satahn is but one God and Architect whose reality I explore.

 

Law.  Law.  Laws.  Lie.  Lie.  Liar.  Laws and liars result from fear and lack of trust.  To become an Architect one must escape becoming a slave to one and even then there are councils who pass judgment upon your actions and your ideals in this world.  I am a child of Earth.  I am a sheep who is becoming a fox.  I believe in a greater cumulative good in order to defend myself as a whole against those who would consume my individuality. 

 

I am an old poet.

 

I am a newborn musician.

 

One Day.

 

Neon outline skeleton dinosaur stood upon the frontlines of sand the lovers gripped each other tight humane embrace and pitted polka dot spiders hiss hiss until I am driven mad to suicide but I daren’t jump from the rock face itch itch I open my head to inhale the spider and twinkle into the bucket another plum and tack sitting in the lotus position until I become brave and walk away through the foliage jumping the metal fence I receive a hug from my maker and it starts to pour magenta spotlight from the focus of mine eyes and I see spider webs in the shadows hide in the pools of light to save myself from terror while I become soaked and explore my foreign campus.

 

This is heaven.

 

Forgive me forgive me I cannot swear enough at the innocent amnesia and betrayal it is never enough for this shameless being to end so young and so old I seem only beginning against to see past my notes.

I always talk to strange voices and long to keep my anger intact and hold on to honesty which is the veil gracing truth.  In heaven the endless basketball courts seem to wait next to the chapel where everyone sings and worships in a Catholic manner.  The doorman offers me my black socks.  I steal a child’s shoes and fall from the clouds to earth as another school bus arrives full of children.  I wonder when the skies will turn blue and free this sad dream from her rotting tooth.

There is no such thing as a tool for purification, such as cinnamon, coffee, sage, water or tobacco, they are merely intoxicants.  I purify myself through thought.

Sleepless nights full of worry for the ones I love and once knew are like heavy chains of metal that remind me of you.

 

I am an atheist.

 

I am apolitical.

 

I am a naturalistic conservative.

 

I am a hopeless romantic.

 

I am an artist.

 

I am curious.

 

I draw in arabesque.

 

I create by red.

 

I am an inkblot.

 

I voted for the antichrist.

 

Heartache.

 

When you touch that beautiful doll and feel the tug of the heartbeat you stole does it remind you of me?  Does the dull thud strike uneven in your unmade mistaken mistress?  On this side of the fence the grass seems green with envy that all I am belongs to someone else’s playboy-cowboys who crucify me, lockjaw me, and hang me out with the dirty laundry I hung within myself defense-self-demise-I am one you would want to know.

 

Will Power.

 

Never think of the devil, never speak his name, he’ll steal my tears and whitewash my sorrows until I have forgotten my very name-a slave trader by day, mystic magician of bloodstain blackmail-twist and limit the body gutless fish swim through frost heartless beasts of red eyed pawns fawns who bear fangs and claws burden the children who dare to break all the laws of God.

Never take for granted the gifts you possess-my body is beautiful and intricate, my spiritual self-complex and I should never for any reason let another take from me what I am because it is my gift and my burden to support, my purpose, my reason for existing, for being alive.  This is what makes me Vampire-my heart, my mind, my spirit, my innate truths and memories.

My soul has burned and become a ghost, my mind ruins my best intentions yet I feel most alive in the freedom of lack of doubt.  The spirit is the heart and will, it is not its own entity-it is the combination that channels through the blood and asserts itself, defends itself, speaks, winks, dreams.  It is my spirit that hungers for the intimacy of another’s touch.  It is my spirit that feels empathy, compassion, and longing.  When I listen to my ghost weep I feel regret for the beautiful creature I am becoming.

The soul I purified was a result of a personal tactile grip on Biblical fundamentals.  Why did I choose to let a Vampire kill my soul?  The temptation was arrogant and brave.  Do I know the truth of what I am becoming?  There is caution aired in the wisdom of my elders yet heed it I do not yet?  I am young and as such test all of the boundaries I can without realizing that boundaries offer protection and not enslavement though the latter is often felt.  The choice is not prohibited, the choice exists and in order to understand my choice I must announce myself to you.

 

America is incredibly sheltered and I was naïve in thinking I could control and fight blindly in a war based upon invisible liars and my own self-deceit.

Positive thought and action is cultivated through temperance and experience-appreciation and respect.  I benefit from soul loss, rape lies and unnecessary persecution.  I betray those I love which results in my betrayal of self.  I am dismantled, undead, and full of small regrets.

It is never healthy to love another person more than yourself.  I know that now.  Love is infinite but narrow minded and a fixation.  But I am not a mother yet.

I fell in love with an owl, his sincerity, humility, character and charm-he reminded me of my childhood and the lover from my dreams, my silent partner in crime.  I could not let go of him.  I could not allow myself to accept that he existed, let alone that he liked or found value in me given my body dysmorphia, my masochistic hatred, personal addictive nihilistic tendencies and isolation and incredible naiveté that most men had either taken advantage of or mocked.  My pride is wounded perhaps more than my heart by these insane choices to have sex.  I am shy and bold.  It is humiliating that my worst desires turned into outward repulsive paranoia publicly which only increased my shame and self-loathing but which now liberate me to be my nature.  Insanity is mentally liberating because it is the action of instinct.

 

The butterfly becomes the moth.

 

I am a red rose or so I have been given by a lover.  My experimentation with solar and Vampiric psychic energy derived from my nature as well as with human beings which resulted in a greater lesson and my exposure to the fourth dimension or what I perceive as the fourth dimension.  I am clairsentient.  I do not believe in a higher self.  I believe in the union of concentric expression which becomes within my action one argentic being.  This is how I will achieve personal agency. 

The practice of Kundalini yoga awakened in me my psychic Vampire self.  It was crack cocaine to the little girl I was with a broken heart and the sexual tension of a horse-hedonistic and raw.  I was able to harness my sexual energy for my own private artistic expression and personal agency to control and manipulate my world.  I am a whore who became a monk who became a whore who becomes a monk.  I understand now that if I do not understand and trust in my true nature and desires with full acceptance that I will only become corrosive in my actions and associations.  I am very anal and judgmental.  “Honk if you think I’m Jesus” adorns my dark red Dodge Spirit.  This philosophy is a coal lab whore nation or collaboration.

 

Thank you for your time and I am an apple tree.

Read more…

I'm home again..............

Well I'm safe back home again. It was a good trip, I really like not being in the wet wet valley. Coming back as soon as we drove through Hope it was just pouring buckets. If anyone who reads this has ever visited here I'm sure they'll know what I'm talking about. I think I know what I want to be, for sure. I've had this plan but it seems like it could actually start to become a possibility, I really am certain that it is what I'm passionate about, but I'll have to see before I can be certain. If you(whoever you are, reading this) want to know, I want to be a vegan/vegetarian/raw chef. My sister and I have been talking about opening up a vegan/vegetarian/raw food restaurant for so long now, but now I know that it is really what I want, because before I wasn't really sure. 

 I'm so happy today, as soon as I can I'm ordering Amok! I'm getting the vinyl which makes it all the more exciting because I only can listen to vinyl! I wish CDs were never invented, vinyl sounds SO much better! 

 Oh in case y'all didn't know where I was I went to a funeral, for my Grandpa. But it was good, I guess it wasn't a legit funeral, it was a celebration of life. And it was a celebration, I had fun. As my sister was driving us back to our hotel my slightly drunk(well not so slightly) brother was saying how much more fun that would have been if Grandpa Len was there. Which made us all sober for a second.  

Read more…

The Wrustien Manifesto.

The Beginning of the Wrustien Manifesto.

 

The Cause of Cancer.

 

I am an orca and I worship the Tao. 

 

I never want to give up.  I never want to die.  Every so often I feel bone tired, exhausted, weak and weeping, but there is always more-an entire world, an entire universe.  I need to expand my borders not enclose them.  I need to ask questions and comprehend the answers.  I need to open myself again-my mind, my heart, my spirit-completely naked, vulnerable and exposed, exploited.  But I am always more, I am always surviving, one step further, one heart wrenching in-breath grip on terror teardrop further.  I need the elation of fear and hope, the escape of fantasy, the grace of forgiveness and the ever present blessing of family.  I am still alive.  I am still wildly alive, amongst all this rapturous silence, crowded hallways, music, all the music-what will happen next?

 

I am your scapegoat.

 

This is hell.

 

It is one path to follow morals and laws blindly without question and completely another to come to an understanding of those same morals and values through personal experience as to whether or not you yourself agree or disagree personally. 

I do not agree with stealing but I am a communist.

I do not agree with emotional sterilization or intellectual privatization but I need money.  I think in gestalt.

My education should include all avenues of thought in as far as my society is incapable of my advancement.  I need to be constantly challenged and exposed, in all ways.  Ignorance only leads to corruption, manipulation, and destructive masochism of self.  Violence is ignorant.  I am wrathful.  I will always seek what is prohibited.  In order to become an adult, one must be exposed to many different theories, philosophies and expectations.  This is crucial.  The vampire will rise or fall to the expectation placed upon them.  This is not to say that there is to be no enjoyment in labor but that the labor should be stimulating.  I know money is a barrier to intellectual development due to the fact that transportation and housing are priorities to comfort.  Is it possible to incorporate advanced study without creating societies based upon demeaning menial labor forces?  Is it possible to develop a world where no one is a slave and everyone excels in their potential by choice-what causes addiction and depression in modern society?  I am an objectivist.

Addiction and depression result from lack of stimulation.  What is possible to avoid these symptoms?  I have wallowed in self-denial and deception.  I tell white lies.

In order for me to develop into an adult I must seek the truth.  I am an adult legally and mentally but I am not yet capable of supporting myself financially.  This is crucial, always crucial, and essential to understanding the change and evaluation of the self.

Truth is the most important fundamental expectation in the development of the Vampire race.  When I lie intentionally or am in self-denial it replicates upon all those exposed to agree or believe in me.  I pursued exposure in order to understand what appeared to be withheld from my own personal development and in so doing developed an addiction to deceit in order to perpetuate my exposure resulting eventually in my decay of character and loss of self.  This is supplemental to my personality based upon defiance, the only expectation I had once placed upon myself.

My desire to learn was crippled by a lack of exposure advanced by my society and as a result I became masochistic and hypocritical of myself in and of my actions and of others, resulting in constant dissatisfaction.  I broke the law of the government and chose to become involved with illegal intoxicants.  American ideals of success and satisfaction are entirely misplaced in that honesty is often mistaken for cruelty-weakness is fostered-emotional sterilization through constant acceptance and compliance.  I am diagnosed bipolar.  I committed suicide.  I know that strength of mind, strength of heart, and strength of character result from success, understanding, survival, and truth.  I am a child built on endurance and I do not believe that love will save us; I believe that ingenuity and truth will.  I am Republican based upon Plato’s Republic.  I want to be a philosopher queen.  I am developing my own philosophy and my name is Rhye Wrust and the philosophy is Wrustien.  A few examples of Wrustien philosophy:

“Invoke the raw and eliminate war within the self.”

“God is the touch within the ripples.”

“The girl who cried rape and the sensual orgasms she inspires.”

“I am a blizzard.”

I should have followed my own advice in the beginning and not have been so placid and altruistic in my acquaintances and friendships.  Loneliness is no excuse for tolerance.  If I want to live, I must learn to protect myself.  I am psychic and telepathic or neither. This denial in my development at the most basic stages has leaded me and I fall into corruption and malaise.

 

Education. 

 

The North is liberal.  The Asian Invasion-Psychic warfare, parts of America were so heavily affected that Stockholm syndrome caused advanced amnesia-this is a war for our minds.  Teachers psychically turn students into satellites to further their own political agendas.  Psychic warfare, corruption of self and truth occurs from unsterilized education.

Politics have no place in education.

I was born my grandfather’s dog.

Is it the fault of America that other countries do not uphold, regulate and protect their own legislation?  Is it right to cripple one country in favor of the damage done to another?  I sympathized in empathy to the point of self-destruction and betrayed myself, my family, and my ideals.  I am American.  Americans should work to develop other countries through support rather than war then the world should reach a point of ground zero cease fire in the interest of all.  All countries should focus on internal development rather than international plays for power and those that can assist another should but should out of choice not out of post-industrial neo-colonial altruistic guilt.  Vampires as one race need to be fully aware of the truth of their own endangerment, we are not hormone driven adrenaline junkies.  We are intelligent, emotional, psychic beings advanced in our wisdom, knowledge and relations.  Freedom from oppression derives from truth.  I should not diminish myself in order to understand failure which is exposure to diverse ideas but I should aspire to reach my own potential in order to achieve success.  Exposure results in exploitation.  Surviving exposure, recognizing weakness, and recreating the self, hence evolving is what I become not what I was or who I am.

 

Shift of Self Awareness and Focus.

 

In order to survive I must be highly adaptive and dynamic otherwise I will fall prey to the sands of time.  I cannot cling to the past.  I must move forward voraciously and refocus who I am.  I am a being not a car to be possessed.  I am my body.  The East psychically hits the West stealing our minds while we rest.  The memories I have of myself predate within my adolescence due to the fact that I often did not feel like myself in my adulthood.  I felt isolated, entrapped, and alone-locked within my own body.  As a child I had one night terror about insects that made my room appear static.  I am a Vampire.  Where do I come from?  Insects consume and reproduce.  Am I an insect?  I dreamt of incest with my grandfather as a baby.

 

I fucking hate head doctors.  I alone am responsible for my mind and body but I have a maker and many lovers who take responsibility for me.  I long for a mate.

 

I love passionately and the objects of my affection and desperation are and always will be my own and the divine mystery of life itself, including the Earth but not limited to it.  I love my own existence.  I meant for these changes to occur, I simply pursued both my shame and suffering to a conclusion of masochistic destruction and denial in an attempt to preserve myself from myself.  This is heaven, the denial of self and nature.  I can relinquish the past and embrace the future without reaching a suicidal point of destruction either for myself or the Earth.  I want my own apocalypse.  This is Karma and the power of thought.

I am healing myself now.  I know I need help.  I regret.

 

All of this that has happened to me is a result of my ancestry.  I am German, Irish, Norwegian, French Huguenot and Kesteven.  My legal name is Rhael Joy Laramy.  I am my mother’s daughter; I was raised without a father.  I am glad I became a vampire and that the temptation existed.  My own personal mysteries persist.  Why am I the way I am?  Why am I this lucky?  My dreams, visions poetry drown me in what I cannot understand occult within me.  The friendships I forge and the reality I long to live within hone impact my nature in such a way as to release a passion within myself that I was unprepared to comprehend.  I now focus on control due to the fact that I do not believe in dualism but instead hold fast to my relativistic relaxed perspective of reality.

 

I sacrificed everything I was for a rush and a challenge.  I am as strong as I think I am.

 

I am a Nazi.

 

I am Satahnic.

 

I admire Hitler.  Hitler instituted a system that eliminated decay.

 

Love and forgiveness for the Bible tells me so do not excuse poor behavior and poor choices.  Action is the only way to redeem myself.  It is far more productive to tread lightly in silence along a mountain than to wreath yourself in violence at the foot of an avalanche of callousness.  Vampires are immortal.  Vampires are born.  Heaven and hell exist as incentives, but also exist as spiritual places of consciousness acting upon the physical body in very significant ways.  Attack a person psychically or spiritually and you attack them significantly physically in the real world affecting the mental and emotional state of the person, influencing their personal choices and limiting their freedom.  Mental disorders result from such actions of attack and guidance.  What is the nature of spiritual war?  Between countries?  Why isn’t protection and awareness taught to adolescents in school?

What is the purpose of evol?  I become evol when I am hated.  I need acceptance and love.

There are many Gods, and there is only god which I define as the ripple of existence.  There are many architects and their laws are not always obvious.  Never break a law you do not understand.  Never break the law of an Architect.  Do I agree with this previous statement?  The laws of God are the laws of the Architect who designs the structure of Earth.  Satahn is but one God and Architect whose reality I explore.

Law.  Law.  Laws.  Lie.  Lie.  Liar.  Laws and liars result from fear and lack of trust.  To become an Architect one must escape becoming a slave to one and even then there are councils who pass judgment upon your actions and your ideals in this world.  I am a child of Earth.  I am a sheep who is becoming a wolf.  I believe in a greater cumulative good in order to defend myself as a whole against those who would consume my individuality. 

I am an old poet.

I am a newborn musician.

 

One Day.

 

Neon outline skeleton dinosaur stood upon the frontlines of sand the lovers gripped each other tight humane embrace and pitted polka dot spiders hiss hiss until I am driven mad to suicide but I daren’t jump from the rock face itch itch I open my head to inhale the spider and twinkle into the bucket another plum and tack sitting in the lotus position until I become brave and walk away through the foliage jumping the metal fence I receive a hug from my maker and it starts to pour magenta spotlight from the focus of mine eyes and I see spider webs in the shadows hide in the pools of light to save myself from terror while I become soaked and explore my foreign campus.

 

This is heaven.

 

Forgive me forgive me I cannot swear enough at the innocent amnesia and betrayal it is never enough for this shameless being to end so young and so old I seem only beginning against to see past my notes.

I always talk to strange voices and long to keep my anger intact and hold on to honesty which is the veil gracing truth.  In heaven the endless basketball courts seem to wait next to the chapel where everyone sings and worships in a Catholic manner.  I steal a child’s shoes and fall from the clouds to earth as another school bus arrives full of children.  The doorman offers me my black socks.  I wonder when the skies will turn blue and free this sad dream from her rotting tooth.

There is no such thing as a tool for purification, such as cinnamon, coffee, sage, water or tobacco, they are merely intoxicants.  I purify myself through thought.

Sleepless nights full of worry for the ones I love and once knew are like heavy chains of metal that remind me of you.

 

I am an atheist.

I am apolitical.

I am a naturalistic conservative.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I am an artist.

I am curious.

I draw in arabesque.

I create by red.

I am an inkblot.

I voted for the antichrist.

 

Heartache.

 

When you touch that beautiful doll and feel the tug of the heartbeat you stole does it remind you of me?  Does the dull thud strike uneven in your unmade mistaken mistress?  On this side of the fence the grass seems green with envy that all I am belongs to someone else’s playboy-cowboys who crucify me, lockjaw me, and hang me out with the dirty laundry I hung within myself defense-self-demise-I am one you would want to know.

 

Will Power.

 

Never think of the devil, never speak his name, he’ll steal my tears and whitewash my sorrows until I have forgotten my very name-a slave trader by day, mystic magician of bloodstain blackmail-twist and limit the body gutless fish swim through frost heartless beasts of red eyed pawns fawns who bear fangs and claws burden the children who dare to break all the laws of God.

Never take for granted the gifts you possess-my body is beautiful and intricate, my spiritual self-complex and I should never for any reason let another take from me what I am because it is my gift and my burden to support, my purpose, my reason for existing, for being alive.  This is what makes me Vampire-my heart, my mind, my spirit, my innate truths and memories.

My soul has burned, my mind ruins my best intentions yet I feel most alive in the freedom of lack of doubt.  The spirit is the heart and will, it is not its own entity-it is the combination that channels through the blood and asserts itself, defends itself, speaks, winks, dreams.  It is my spirit that hungers for the intimacy of another’s touch.  It is my spirit that feels empathy, compassion, and longing.  When I listen to my ghost weep I feel regret for the beautiful creature I am becoming.

The soul I purified was a result of a personal tactile grip on Biblical fundamentals.  Why did I choose to let a Vampire kill my soul?  The temptation was arrogant and brave.  Do I know the truth of what I am becoming?  There is caution aired in the wisdom of my elders yet heed it I do not yet?  I am young and as such test all of the boundaries I can without realizing that boundaries offer protection and not enslavement though the latter is felt.  The choice is not prohibited, the choice exists and in order to understand my choice I must announce myself to you.

 

America is incredibly sheltered and I was naïve in thinking I could control and fight blindly in a war based upon invisible liars and my own self-deceit.

Positive thought and action is cultivated through temperance and experience-appreciation and respect.  I benefit from soul loss, rape lies and unnecessary persecution.  I betray those I love which results in my betrayal of self.  I am dismantled, undead, and full of small regrets.

It is never healthy to love another person more than yourself.  I know that now.  Love is infinite but narrow minded and a fixation.  But I am not a mother yet.

I fell in love with an owl, his sincerity, humility, character and charm-he reminded me of my childhood and the lover from my dreams, my silent partner in crime.  I could not let go of him.  I could not allow myself to accept that he existed, let alone that he liked or found value in me given my body dysmorphia, my masochistic hatred, personal addictive nihilistic tendencies and isolation and incredible naiveté that most men had either taken advantage of or mocked.  My pride is wounded perhaps more than my heart by these insane choices to have sex.  I am shy and bold.  It is humiliating that my worst desires turned into outward repulsive paranoia publicly which only increased my shame and self-loathing but which now liberate me to be my nature.  Insanity is mentally liberating because it is the action of instinct.

 

The butterfly becomes the moth.

 

I am a red rose or so I have been given by a lover.  My experimentation with solar and Vampire psychic energy derived from my nature as well as with human beings which resulted in a greater lesson and my exposure to the fourth dimension or what I perceive as the fourth dimension.  I am clairsentient.  I do not believe in a higher self.  I believe in the union of concentric expression which becomes within my action one argentic being.  This is how I will achieve personal agency.  The practice of Kundalini yoga awakened in me my psychic vampire self.  It was crack cocaine to the little girl I was with a broken heart and the sexual tension of a horse-hedonistic and raw.  I was able to harness my sexual energy for my own private artistic expression and personal agency to control and manipulate my world.  I am a whore who became a monk who became a whore who becomes a monk.  I understand now that if I do not understand and trust in my true nature and desires with full acceptance that I will only become corrosive in my actions and associations.  I am very anal and judgmental.  “Honk if you think I’m Jesus” adorns my dark red Dodge Spirit.  This philosophy is a coal lab whore nation or a collaboration.

 

Thank you for your time and I am an apple tree.

Read more…

A re-edit to one portion.

One Day.

 

Neon outline skeleton dinosaur stood upon the frontlines of sand the lovers gripped each other tight humane embrace and pitted polka dot spiders hiss hiss until I am driven mad to suicide but I daren’t jump from the rock face itch itch I open my head to inhale the spider and twinkle into the bucket another plum and tack sitting in the lotus position until I become brave and walk away through the foliage jumping the metal fence I receive a hug from a lover and it starts to pour magenta spotlight from the focus of mine eyes and I see spider webs in the shadows hide in the pools of light to save myself from terror while I become soaked and explore my foreign campus.

 

Heaven.

 

Forgive me forgive me I cannot swear enough at the innocent amnesia and betrayal it is never enough for this shameless being to end so young and so old I seem only beginning against to see past my notes.

I always talk to strange voices and long to keep my anger intact and hold on to honesty which is the veil gracing truth.  In heaven the endless basketball courts seem to wait next to the chapel where everyone sings and worships in a Catholic manner.  I steal a child’s shoes and fall from the clouds to earth as another school bus arrives.

I wonder when the skies will turn blue and free this sad dream from her rotting tooth.

There is no such thing as a tool of purification, such as cinnamon, coffee, sage, water or tobacco, they are merely intoxicants.

Sleepless nights full of worry for the ones I love and once knew are like heavy chains of metal that remind me of you.

 

I am an atheist.

I am apolitical.

I am a naturalistic conservative.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I am a DaDa artist.

Read more…

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