Translation from “Evgenii Onegin” by A.S. Pushkin
MS 2.20.16
(This character was barely 16 years old when she wrote and sent it :-))
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I write to you – what else is there?
What more is there for me to say?
And now, I know – it is your power to punish me
With scorn and hate…
But your compassion and true self,
Will make you save me from this fate….
I did not plan to overwhelm you..
I always step aside, observe…
I would have never said a word if there was a chance, a glimmer of you approaching our abode..
Not every day but maybe once…. a week a month or just sometimes… some regular rotation visits…
.. To hear your voice to see you speak to listen to your thoughts and logic,
To share a word, and then just think and dream of what you could have said next time you are in…
Sweet dreams of our next encounter, your thoughts your hopes, but ….. not a chance…
I’ve heard that you preferred a solace -
There was no interest in romance.
They say you’re bored with our sort.
So simple, and naïve, and happy.
We opened wide our doors to you…
Sophistication and high matters
Are not our strongest suit, that’s true…
If that’s the case, why had it happened?
Why ever have you come to us?
I would have been so calm and happy without you in our lives.
Eventually, I would have gotten married
And knew no torment and no fright
Of love and hope, and delight…
In time I’d been content as mother, as friend, and capable consult..
I would’ve gone on and I’d been happy and sure of duty in one’s life….
It pains to think, it’s quite unreal to picture me with someone else..
For you’re the only one who matters - the core of life the light of day..
I’d give my soul, my heart, my being for you to keep and use at will..
I am certain it was predetermined
It was a plan from up above
It’s in my gut, resolve, and soul;
It is my focus and my might.
My life till now was just rehearsal
So I could meet you, talk to you.
I loved you long before I met you
I do so now,
I always will.
That’s it…
It’s out there now..
It has been said…
Enough, I’ll stop.
I have to send the way it’s written…
Right now….
No proofread and no sort…
One thing…
Please let me know somehow..
Perhaps a sign or just a thought..
Do you feel different or nothing?
Am I confused or is it right?
I am so afraid, it is so unreal..
But there’s no any other way..
My only courage is your honor
My only hope is your heart….
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