The Beach

[Ariel]

I was standing on the edge of a beach in Kuwait, staring out at the Persian gulf. A vast, varied maze of wave reflections led my gaze through it’s endless evening horizon. The great space and vastness of the sea reminded me of my own mortality, aware of my own smallness in relation to natures might and grandeur. It was the beginning of an exquisite night filled with unnerving revelations.Fourth brigade had just completed a long and demanding deployment in Iraq and we were having a going home celebration on this beach. I never know what to do at gatherings like that so I wandered off on my own for a bit. I happened to find a guitar lying against an empty picnic table. I hadn’t had the chance to express myself musically in months and this was just what I needed so I took it off to the side and played it for several hours.On a bench, I was engrossed in a deep-seated musical reverie when a girl named Ashley strolled up to sit next to me and asked what I was playing. I was playing Radiohead’s “Sail To the Moon.” She sat and listened for a minute and we exchanged very few words. This was my first time speaking to a girl in several months and didn’t really know what to say. I probably seem like a very uninteresting person to most people that talk to me. I never have anything to talk about. Odd as it sounds, what made this situation uncommon was that someone; a girl, approached me. So this simple moment made me feel better about certain things in life, even though we only spoke for a minute before someone called her to go somewhere else.Most soldiers aren’t satisfied with a woman until they get physical contact but I was in complete bliss with the short moment I shared with her. Why do I fall in love with every woman that has the backbone to approach me. And then I never know what to say. For some reason I can’t explain, I felt that this one woman changed the direction that I was heading in life, even though I never talked to her or even saw again after that.Sometimes women don’t understand the profound positive effects that they might have on a person. I need to meet someone new. Someone that is exuberant and full of life. Someone who can make the most mundane things seem astounding and beyond belief. A person with the capacity to crush the sulking ideas and assumptions that I have about human relationships. There have been so many possibilities for great companions that I have just shut my eyes to. Perhaps I need to spend less time writing these stupid journal entries and more time with other people.