This might seem crazy to you, but my dreams are real. It doesn’t matter if my eyes are wide open or shut tight, they always see. The visions that come to me or I conjure up don’t differentiate from one another; I can seldom see any real difference between them. Both are real to me, but I can live with this without falling in the dark pit of insanity because I know how to react to them.
I don’t know truth…I don’t pretend too. I’m constantly looking for it, one clear sign of the indisputable real, a piece of evidence that will lay to rest all my doubts about the nature of reality, be it a magical moment of pure clarity whilst watching the setting sun over the snow-filled mountain or a trampled cigarette butt on the cracked, gray pavement. If there was just one thought, one undeniable fact which would prove that everything does exist, I could finally tell you what dreams are.
For now I have to trust that one day that thought or thing will arrive with the overwhelming rush of a revelation and will let me sink deep down into my soul to enjoy the scenery. But I can’t shake the feeling that… everything we call real is an illusion and all that is in our minds is true.
I lay my head onto the nicely chilled pillow which hugs me like the gentlest of lovers, cuddling me and whispering comforting words into my ears. My eyes wander on the ceiling floor, finding shapes and patterns where there are none…but again, how can I truly know they are not there? I start to feel the slightest of tensions in my arms and legs as my mind travels through them. Beginning at my toes, I release the tension, sensing them slowly sinking into the mattress, the pleasant sense of comfort becoming the dominant feeling. I feel my calves and thighs become weightless and yet closely grasping the surface of the bed, like a bird who knows it can fly away at any moment but finds safety and wholesomeness in the shelter of the leaves. My hands and torso soon join my lower half and suddenly my own body feels like it has released itself from its chains and is completely free from any obligation, only my heart and lungs keep steadily moving without missing a beat.
My eyelids grow heavy and, without me realizing, peacefully shut down to show me their insides. The black wall begins to change…
I awake into a black forest, only lit by the full moon hovering overhead. It looks twice its size and you can easily imagine it falling off the wires which hold it to the sky. Its size ensures a wide distribution of reflected sunlight all over the area, creating a unique landscape of blue trees and black shadows. Despite its intense luminosity, the nearby stars are clearly visible, shimmering, inviting you to join them as they play on their vast playground.
I stand in the middle of a clearing which lies in the heart of the forest. All around me stand strong, ancient trees; their branches stretching into infinity, the blue light of the night reflecting off them as if they were posing for the artist who is creating his great masterpiece. As I become accustomed to my surroundings, I notice small, flickering threads of fluorescent blue light, which glow for a few seconds and then dissipate like dust. I approach this phenomenon and realize it is a trail left behind transcendently beautiful, light blue butterflies. I stretch my hand out for one of them to sit upon my fingers so I can analyze them closer. Their wings show amazing, abstract patterns, all in different shades of blue, some fluorescently shining off the surface, others acting like shadows to the rest of pattern. As they fly, their wings leave behind a thread of blue light, like the condensation left behind airplanes at high altitudes. At first I only see a dozen of these sublime creatures, but as I look into the dark forest I begin to see a whole army of disappearing blue lights everywhere.
I carefully begin walking down a small path carved into the ground by human feet and as I do, everything around me begins lighting up and shutting off in a synchronized manner. I stop to observe this spectacle, but as soon as I do, everything goes back to the initial scene of the dark blue forest and black shadows. I start walking again and the spectacle reappears only this time I’m conscious enough to see what is happening; the vegetation underneath the canopies, which was invisible before, hiding in the black shadows, illuminates in various blue lights, ranging in different shades and intensities. Some flowers radiate strong fluorescent blues, others open up and shine from the inside out, the leaves and bushes move towards my direction, springing and lighting up as if they were intrigued by my presence. I stop again and the activity stops as well. I begin to grasp what is occurring; the vegetation responds to the sound of my steps…the small crackling beneath my feet is waking them up from their nightly rest. They wake up to inspect whatever is causing a slight disturbance in their home and to make sure the intruder will not harm them. I also realize that this is their defence, they function as a symbiotic unite, protecting and supporting each other. I avoid the temptation to run and make as much noise as possible just to see the marvellous show they display, because I feel there is no need to disturb them; they are having their rest as I am having mine. My gaze shifts off to the distance where I notice a silhouette of another human being and by the looks of it, it resembles and old man standing and facing towards me. He looks small, thin and old with a huge, pointed hat and a long coat which is touching the ground.
You must understand that, nothing I have so far described or nothing I will do so, caused me any discomfort. In fact, the more I walked, the more I saw and experienced, the calmer I became; the environment made it easy to relax and drift off, drift with the feelings which enticed me more and more. The figure didn’t scare me; it excited me for there was another human being there to share this with.
I walk up to the old man, now finally noticing the features on his face; the strong wrinkles, the perpetual smile glued onto him and the luminescent blue eyes which radiated nothing but love and understanding. His attire made him look like a wizard from the fairytales; his wooden staff curled at the top and carved into the shape of a tree leaf; a cape which was long enough to trail behind him was coloured in deep purple and a glass, heart-shaped necklace was hanging around his neck.
He was the first to speak: “This is a magical land, my fellow good man…and also as real as you will ever feel.”
The wizard brought up his hand and pointed behind him, where, for the first time, I noticed we were on a cliff overseeing a mighty blue ocean, which was powerfully reflecting the rays from the moon. The ocean was calm, with the slightest of breezes travelling over it, gently caressing the surface of this world and arousing goose bumps on my skin. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace, which with every second got stronger and more potent. This was the kind of relaxation you felt just before you fell asleep, fully embraced by the feeling of warmth and security, but I wasn’t tired, I felt fully alive and awake.
I had to ask the question which was always bewildering me: “How do you know this is real?”
The wizard smiled even brighter, with a look that silently screamed understanding and compassion. “You feel it, see it, hear it, you sense it. This is as real as it gets. Here you’re even allowed to shape it, look!”
He clapped his hands twice and each time a powder like substance flew away from them. The dust was green in colour and still very visible despite the night time. He started whistling and from his mouth the same substance was flying off, this mist which wasn’t masking the world around us but was completely transparent, smelling of freshly cut grass and changing colour depending on the pitch it was in.
I joined in, whistling different melodies to see the vast range of colours which were coming out of my mouth in the shape of a cloud. And the phenomenon spread all around, every small thing which was emanating sound had its small cloud surrounding it, growing bigger and mixing with the clouds around it.
As we were doing this I was too enchanted to realize that the sun was rising and that all the blue colours of the landscape began to shift into other shades, ranging in every colour known to man. The scene resembled nothing else but paradise, the sound mixing with the vision, becoming one world of intensely powerful emotion.
The wizard turned to me in a slow manner, like a father telling a child that it’s time to go home, and said: “This has been real, but you must visit the other reality too. It needs you just as much as we do.”
Everything around me began to lose its intensity, but not in a violent or disturbing manner, no… it was a slow transition, painless, without regret or discomfort, slowly blending back into only one colour. As everything became black, my eyelids felt lighter and they slowly opened, again seeing the patterns resting on top of the ceiling floor.
My entire body slowly awoke and I began to feel the slightest of tensions in my fingers and toes. I felt as awake as I was in the dream, although now fully rested and relaxed.
How do I know what is real? Who can ever tell me or show me the nature of reality? Will I ever find out…or do I really even want too? I do know one thing though…this might seem crazy to you, but my dreams are real…
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