"when i lived alone! is there ghost in my house?!" -- song by band of horses
the music video for this song "i could sleep" by band of horses, well, the apartment in this video looks almost identical to the apartment building where i had this experience. funny that the lyrics are what they are...the guy i was dating showed me this song because i talked to him about the ghost i had in my place.
when i lived for the first time, absolutely alone without roomates or a boyfriend, on main st. in vancouver i had a strange experience. this apartment building was old and it resembled more of a kind of hospital from the 50's then it did your regular apartment complex....that older kind of structure apeals to me...non the less it left me with a feeling of unease, and that feeling grew stronger the more time i spent in that building. i found out later
on that it had once been a mad house...and also a hospital at another point in time.
when signing up for the apartment, filling out the rental agreement etc.. talking with the building manager, he had confided with me that four people had passed away only just that past month, and it had been a bit of a stressful time. i could imagine. i don't know what it would be like to be an apartment manager, but i could imagine...
and dealing with dead people, would never be easy work! ...and who would be the special candidate to find them dead in their rooms? would have probably, no doubt, been him. poor building manager!
all four dead people had been elderly, and one was not found until somebody had complained about the stink in the hallways...body already decaying and this poor manager would have been the one who would have opened the door, and confirmed the corpse there..must have had to go through the whole process of contacting family? if there was family...getting rid of belongings etc. what a horrible situation. the things building manager's must have to deal with!! a building would become a whole life of it's own; dealing with it all like a living breathing organism. all these people, and perspectives dealt with daily. it could be an interesting job, if you were inclined to write about the people you encountered daily, but i don't think i would like it. i would never do that for a job.too much insight into how those people live and maybe even, how some of them die.
although at the time, the fact that people had died in the building did not occupy so much of my mind . and since i had never personally experienced anything supernatural, in the sense of ghosts and spirits before, that was the last thing on my mind. i was simply excited to have my own place.
i occupied a small bacelor suit, my bed was just this little cubby hole behind a wall opening out into the rest of the room. it was very very small, but it was cozy, and i liked it. i had an old window that opened up into the courtyard in the middle of the building, which was nice. my bathroom was located just outside my suit near the hallway that connected to a shared room next to mine. although, nobody lived in the room next to mine. i'm not sure if the other room had been occupied by one of the people who had recently died, or if my room had been...
the details of which rooms dead people where found in was not disclosed to me. i just figured that my room must have been one of those rooms...unlucky, lucky me.
in a city like vancouver it is very difficult to find places to rent for affordable prices. which is why most young people, in university or just working to get by, have roomates. this apartment was ideal for me. it was super cheap and really close to central transit. i felt really lucky to have found a place like this!
the first night i spent in my room alone i felt instantly the vibe in my room was...thick. that sounds strange, but it was like there was this kind of energy in my room. the atmosphere was 'thick' some how, thats the only way i know how to describe it! and i did not feel like i was alone in my room. i felt like somebody was there...and i would see white flashes every now and then out of the corner of my eyes.
the first night in that room i had to put on a movie to help me go to sleep. just to listen to some voices, give me the illusion of company. i fell asleep with no problems. i decided that whatever was in my room was not harmful, as far as i could tell at the time, and i felt whatever it was, was more curious about me than anything else.
as time went by i started to get used to the feeling of this presence in the room with me. i even started talking with it! when i got home from work i would say " and so...how was your day?, mine was great..." and then i would go into explanations telling the "ghost" about what happened. doing this thinking, that i am most likely talking to myself, but did it anyways because it had been fun for me thinking that i had a sort of invisible room-mate. besides it was lonely, i needed somebody to talk to when i got home. why not to myself?! or the ghost!? if it was in fact there!?
months passed by and nothing unusual happened. i continued to talk with my imaginary friend. i felt little to NO disturbance what-so-ever. it was only when i started dating this guy at my work that things started to get weird. i don't know if energy can attach itself to a person, but i started to feel that that's what it was doing. it was getting attached to me somehow...
can a ghost get jelouse!??
the first weird experience was at this guy's house! we had been watching a movie and out of nowhere, the vase that was on top of his fridge FLEW and i mean FLEW OFF the refrigerater and shattered on the floor! we both looked at eachother and said," wow, that was weird!" ...but both decided there had to be some kind of logical explanation for it. deep down i knew there wasn't. there couldn't have been. because it wasn't like it had just fallen to the floor, it landed far away...with a great force. like something had litterally nocked it off!
after that things got stranger and stranger. it was like the spirit was mad at me or something. one night in particular i felt this presence very distinclty close to me, behind me, all around me! it was stronger than it had ever been. it was trying desperatley to communicate something to me! wish i knew what that was...this feeling was so strong that i decided to try and take a picture of whatever this thing was. i pulled out my mobile phone and i used this to take pictures of where i felt this presense around me. after taking about five or six in a row, just following my feeling of where it was going around the room. i stoped to take a look to see if i had captured anything.
as i looked through the photo's, through the smoke in the room there was an image, right behind my face, the picture of me...and then there right behind me, directly over my shoulder, was the face of this old man! i could clearly see his features, eyes, mouth, and facial hair!...my jaw dropped. i just couldn't believe what i was seeing. the realization that this ghost was real took all this to the next level! at first it had just been a game for me!!! and now, looking at these pictures, i got goosebumps...shivers ran through me. blood ran cold! there were glimpses of this man in almost every photo...but the last one was the one that freaked me out the most. because standing in my doorway, in full view, was this man. his mouth was open as if saying something....he was standing in the doorway to the entrance of my place between the hallway that meets the shared bathroom.
there had been a plastic bag hanging on the doorknob. you have to understand that this took seconds to make this realization...this was the LAST picture i took...and when i realized. "oh my god, he is still standing there..he is RIGHT THERE by the door right NOW!"...just as i thought that... the plastic bag, floated, ever so delicately off the door nob, to the floor. like a wind had pushed it. but there was no wind...it had been "him"?!
BAM! it felt like that bag hit the floor louder...because the realization that this "Ghost man", had done it, and had done it to show me "I"M REALLY HERE!" really freaked me out.
it's funny because in moments like this, as much as you are freaked way-the-fuck-out, it's amazing how calm you can remain. I remembered just saying to myself out loud:
"OK"......."your....REAL"...
the next day i showed people at work and the guy i was dating! it was just unbelievable to me how clear these images were! could it have just been an illusion from the smoke from my cigarettes, but in every picture?! and so clearly the features of the face, and the body in the doorframe!? who knows! i believe that there really was a ghost in my house.
things got weirder and weirder. the worst was one night that i had awoken feeling something on my face. it was like i couldn't breathe! i struggled to wake up, and then when i got up i got as far away from my bed as possible and said to it "STOP!, STOP!, ENOUGH!!!...this had gone too far!"...then i started crying...called the guy i was seeing at the time and told him what had happened.
i prayed myself to sleep that night.
after that i never felt anything weird again...all wierd-ness stopped.
maybe it was saying goodbye to me? maybe it realized that it was scaring me too much? i still don't think that it was an evil ghost, or a bad spirit, but really... i just don't know? it made me question that much more, what really DOES happen to us in the afterlife?! do some of us get lost for a time here on earth!? stuck, in limbo? not able to figure out where to go next?
i hope that old man made his way out of limbo to that other place. i like to believe that he did...and that maybe he was just trying to say goodbye to me!
those were the most extreme sensations of a 'Ghost' i have ever had.
although, i have had clairvoyant? experiences that are similarly, if not more weird than this....and i will share that in another story.
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