when I was a lil' girl

[Vanessa Vasquez]

I don’t have that many early childhood memories. But I do remember one little thing. I had this cute little pink sailor dress with an anchor that was embroidered on the chest. It had puffy sleeves. And ruffles on the skirt.As a kid I was clumsy, not much is different from being two to twenty eight. I still run into walls and fall out of my chair. But that’s not my point.I remember this incident clearly because my dad had disappeared and after long awaited return he finally decided to resurface. I remember wearing that dress. I ran to him, tripped on my own two feet and fell nose first on the asphalt. I scraped my knees, and my elbow. Like the great father he is, he picked me up and handed me to my grandma.I remember her washing my wounds and soothing me with her voice. Regardless what she said the tears rolled down my face like a storm cloud had erupted. Later, much later, I learned that when I fall down, I just get up, dust myself off, and move on.Just like my clumsiness, not much else is different. I fall down, I get right back up, dust myself off, and keep moving. Forward. It is always forward. Rarely do I look back. If I do, the sight of the rock that tripped me will well up emotions in me and be a cause for tears. Not now, I don’t have time for tears. Later….much later….I will have plenty of time to cry. But for now, I keep moving forward. It is never backwards, but always forwards.And forward it is that I go. I have rested long enough. Time to keep moving. I have no time to waste and no tears to spare. If I have to burn the evidence of ever being there, then so be it. I can do it. That’s what enormous campfires are for.