The dark night of the soul, the bends. The ultimate groundswell that drags you down to the bottom of the bitter sea. Carried away, my heart sank in this ebb and flow of tears. Overwhelmed by the Big Blue. Am really sinking this low? And those weird fishes — their slashed souls and lifeless eyes staring at me, blankly. Their greedy sunken — bleak, dead, stillborn eyes. Yes, I want to live, breathe, but as for being part of the human race, well I'm not so sure anymore. I can't take this right now. Got some sort of mega faith crisis. And it won't just go away when I wake up sucking a lemon. No, no, no... I'm afraid it will take much more than this.
Stop! I wanna go home,
Take off this uniform
And leave the show.
And I'm waiting in this cell
Because I have to know
Have I been guilty all this time?
"Stop", Pink Floyd (1979)
I'm an alien soul longing for somewhere else. Somewhere far away from this creeping madness, from this unreasonable perversion, this growing ingratitude, ignorant arrogance, loud egos, baffling denial, uncontrollable fear and excruciating alienation. Going round and round little patapons, over and over in circles. Could you please stop drawing me sheep? Forget it. It was a mistake — an awful mistake.
Come let the truth be shared
No-one ever dared
To break these endless lies
Secretly she cries.
"Sunburn", Muse (1999)
Can't. The veil of oblivion is flawed. False memories are fading away as real ones are emerging. If they float, they burn. If you talk, you die. If you keep quiet, you give up the ghost. Shoot the messenger! Burn the witch! Their game, their rules. Move or get removed, let's play leapfrog instead. One, two, three, Alice fell into a black hole. Black is black, you can't go back.
A lull. A dying angel. A shooting star. Make a wish. I believe, yes I do. I want to. Yes I can. You, me, them. Change our reality.