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bitty

I can't find the butterfly coat,the one where fringes float across your knees,the flattened pancake, twirling violets,"Two layers of butter", she says "please".she reassures "it's fine, don't."but of course, it is not within my handsso I must look for it.where is the butterfly coat?were you caught in a web when I wasn't looking,when I was forgetting my name?you stir your coffee with a knife.I didn't have time to have time,locked in a shelf with dustspilling over the edges.a waterfall of broken bones,of greys, blues, and browns,of abandoned snail shellsthat crinkle together the most shivering sounds.We know how to make choices.We know what a choice is.You'll feed the dog later,I'll fix the clock later,I'll learn to love you.stuffed noses, red cheeks,open wounds, abrupt sneezes.(god, why are we so obvious?)you do know that you're going to need years,the world, for those tears.I've never known anything more vulnerable,a sniffling mass of flesh,in my arms and slain.
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scotch

golden glass, with the light in you,
streams of effervescence from your depths,
even when I swallow you, sin in you,
still you elude me.
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crows

A splashed design of crows laughs in the trees,
Black as stains, numerous as concert-goers.
The subject of invented horrors, these
As absolute as darkness make their mark,
And preen, and flutter past, and dance on air.
Here they will sleep, a mob of thoughtful shapes
Over the passing people. Here one shakes
His feathers out; two others swing and caw;
Still others hunch there, motionless, severe.
Below, some march about like bent old men,
Socializing, talking and meddling
Sometimes bending to push beaks in the grass.
When night comes, sometimes one makes small complaint
And everywhere their rustling makes space.
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500

They fell into a rythm of small kindnesses such as these. Joe, knowing Alexis's single-minded nature, would pick up the kitchen when he visited, and in return Alexis would put a blanket at the foot of the couch whenever Joe fell asleep. Never over him, but just within reach, so whenever wanted it, it would be there. Alexis was strange this way. He was reserved. He never casually brushed against people, or looked directly at them when they ate. Without meaning to, Joe sometimes crossed boundaries he didn't know were there. Like once he noticed Alexis's clothes on the floor. They were rumpled and obviously dirty, and he took them with him next time he went to the laundry. Whenever he got back, Alexis was waiting for him by the door, a quiet look of panic on his small features. and whenever he handed the folded clothes back, there was a something there that reminded him of a rat. He didn't say a word. It was never mentioned, and Alexis did not act differently around him, but Joe never saw his clothes on the floor again. Nor were they in the hamper. Joe had no idea where they went.
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Январский Роллинг Стоун

Где Бритни, там и Спирс.Где радио, там и голова.Где Бритни, там и радио.Где Спирс, там и голова Йорка.Шестьдесят шестое место среди голосов, которые потрясли...Хочется добавить в конце еще одну шестерку. Хотя бы в скобочках. Чтобы красиво было.
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Afterthoughts

A whisper on the windPushed to the fringes of thoughtClawing at the edges of the mindA feeling of things forgottenScattered thoughts scraped togetherLike pieces torn from different picturesTears in the subconscious let in lightAn image in a flashToo little too late
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Still Miss You

It has been 4 years today and I still miss you. You visit me in my dreams and you follow my spirit. There have been others but they can't match you. My mac girl.
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Gratitude

How do you say Thank You when the words are plainly inadequate, when someone or something has had an effect so profound that your soul is touched? It is the example of others that teaches what words cannot. Good people being who they are, so generous and kind. Lessons are learned unnoticed. Other people's consequences are also lessons learned. People, by nature, are fallible beings. That being said, it is truly inspiring to see what you aspire to be, to be faced with the realization that nothing is impossible regardless of how it may seem, to see that adversity doesn't only breed contempt.There is something to be said for those who can truly forgive. That is the most difficult of things. It is much easier to hold on to the hurt than it is to just let it go, easier to overanalyse than let it be. The grip just cannot be loosened without forgiveness, and the road to forgiveness is never a stroll in the park. It can be just as arduous as whatever it is that needs to be forgiven. Finally seeing the possibility as a reality is quite profound. In theory, it seemed impossible, at least to me. But not so much, not anymore. I can feel the weight slightly lifted from my shoulders. There is now hope to be free from this burden that I have born for so long. For that glimmer of hope, the hope that one day it will finally be far behind, I say Thank You. It is still just not enough.
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It's the Little Things

Little surprises change a mood.Notes from unknown friendsThe kindness of strangersKindness to strangersA random smile at the grocery storeA five minute phone call to a long lost friendA "post-it" in a lunchboxReminders of loveExtra hugs and kissesA compliment to start the day with a smileMention little things and see the impactDoesn't take much to make a differenceReach out without fearAlways be genuine
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So Very Thankful

Don't want to cryBut it can't be helpedAll semblance of control is lostMemories are overwhelmingThe good is amazingBlessings duly countedSo far away from a planned pathGuided by the unknown to the presentGifted in so many waysWhat is lacking is irrelevantIt is all in the mindThere is much love in this placeThere is just enough of everythingWarm and happyNever alone and endless "sugars"Not perfect, never perfectBut perfect enough for me
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On the Road Again

That little empty piece that echoes in the cornerIs screaming like a siren...again.Not enough time to steel againstThen again, is there such thing?Life in absentia was never intendedReality and intent rarely coincideWords spoken, yet seldom understoodFour days seems a lifetimeAs history repeatsMore notice, give more, take moreRealization and guiltThe pressure builds involuntarilyHeavy shoulders, broken backsAnd a forced hand
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inaugural

Vaulted spikes in the city - square coats and block shapes;
In the morning the cafe fills with cubes,
We gather like broken glass to watch the tele.
Everything alters: a shape on the page
And the page turns; a new year; a new tome
Of history, and common sense bursts through the wall.

Loneliness is watching the glasses turn and be put away
And glitter in the gold light, and the dance
Of shapes behind the bar, the lean bartenders, the shake
Of silver fire; the mistakes we make, the golden slug
Of error; the frames of our redemption, stained wood.
I promised I would work and not think; I promised I'd be strong
In metaphor, not selfhood, and beyond.
Now it starts: the glow of future fires; and the wall
Throbs with a shallow hum underlain by hurt
And endurance. Trails of smoke in a glass.
Someday the door will burst open and reveal us.
A fierce shine will burn away the veils.
And all of us in comedy and greatness will emerge
Burned thin as wheat and as golden, sheaves
Of terrible innocence. We will be hidden enough to see.

Here is the number on the door: Open to me!
For I am thin as wheat and as golden,
Broken and burned away to my core.
Through me the world shines in, and the grey
Pavement sports a shine, and trails forth forever.
Come with me! For I will blow you a road
Out of grain, and as golden, flourishing
And fertile, with a thousand sights to either side;
A tourist's road, but only you will trail the guide.
I am yours only, and all will belong at once to you.
Nefertiti in the desert? Touch her face,
She is severe and hard as a queen should be.
Pride is in my face, can you not see?
And all of dignity, and the far plains.

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the shirt box

They worked well together, Joe and Alexis. Joe had to read a great deal for his English major, often spending the entire visit curled up on one end of the natty couch with a textbook, but the lack of conversation was never empty. Alexis tinkered with little electronic bits or watched wrestling with no sound on. It struck Joe as strange the first few nights until he realized that Alexis was keeping it down for him, so he could concentrate.
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HELP

LATELY I HAVE FELT AS THOUGH I AM WAITING FOR SOMETHING AND I AM WALKING AROUND BUT I AM NOT HERE, THAT I AM WAITNG TO WAKE UP AND MY ACTIONS HAVE NO REPERCUSSIONS WHICH IS NOT TRUE. I CANNOT WAKE UP. THIS IS TURNING INTO A NIGHTMARE. HELP ME. PLEASE. I WANT THIS TO END.
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ouistiti

Welcome to Friday at City Hall We are open to suggestions but really don't care.If you wish to compliment and flatter us, feel free. We are deserving, hard-working weekenders on a five day vacation, soon going home.If you have any complaints, f*ck off.Our expectations are frozen. Toast. We do garbage but not recycling. Our blue boxes like to stay clean.The bean bag burning-in the microwave ceremony was very successful. Our building is a haven for sore necks, absent-mindedness and oblivion. If there is a city out there, let's make it a dream and treat it as such. For beyond our doors we are nothing. We only exist to serve the public that we've decided to ignore. Forever.This commercial was bought off of you by Winnipeg-Coca Coma.Have a safe trip.
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