ALL FAMILIES ARE PSYCHOTIC...

[omniblob]

current update on my sister, goldielocks (imagine me in a long blonde wig, then mop up the spillage). i would normally feel bad about spouting off about a family member, but she's been to oz and nyc in the last six weeks and brought me back, respectively;a baseball cap (an aussie cricket one, that is green and gold, ie- stands out a mile and goes with nothing)and a simpson's t-shirt that she could've (in fact, probably did) bought from the shop round the corner from her flat.continuing the bus theme, last tuesday she was chatted up by an old jakey at the bus stop who was also talking into a bottle of lucozade. he apparently told the person on the other end of his bottle / phone / delusion that "he was running out of credit and that he would see them at the bookies".for those outside of scotland a "jakey" is an alcoholic, often a tramp (but not always);http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jakeyi prefer the term "knights of the road", anyways. far more dignified.she was, the previous week, at the gym being chatted up by a west african man (remember, think me in a wig - sexy!) who then proceeded to sit down on what turned out to be the steps of a cross-trainer. he fell, and knocked himself unconscious. goldielocks then made her escape before he woke up, as she didn't want him to see that she lived in a flat across the street (clearly visible from the window of the gym). on the way back, she got chatted up by an old man in an electric wheelchair and laughed at by a wee boy with downs syndrome, because she was all sweaty.i think bad luck runs in families.went to see the mighty omniblob play a charity gig last night. the bastards made me get up and butcher some songs when i was ripped of my tits on hard liquor. they were supported by the modus, who were this sixties hammond organ, jazz mod band. they were fucking amazing and will probably sell a million records;http://www.myspace.com/themodusnethttp://www.myspace.com/omniblobcheck them out and enrich your life, without any need to thank me.this is, of course because (despite the hurtful comments about bed breaking and all of you with awful germs) i love each and every one of you w-a-s-t-e-relst---h---i---s m---u---c---h !!!!steve x.