chapter 5.

[Anya]

Today's the worst day I've had this month.I burst into tears just sitting on the philosophy seminar. I was sitting near the window, it is sunny and warm outside... I've understood that I awfully want to go home, but no one really is looking forward to seeing me there.No one.My father don't even phone me. I can't call him myself. he has his own family (though they're not registered), hates his new "wife" and takes care of his little son. I don't think he needs me there. I'd like to phone him and ask about my going home, but the battery on my phone is out of energy, and electricity is unfortunately off.moreover, the teacher on philosophy fucked me up. I'd love to fuck her off, but again...I was reporting about Arthur Schopenhauer. I think, I was telling the info quite logically nad understandable. at least, i'm not guilty to what his opinion was. that he talks first about one thing, then about something opposite to that one, then about something opposite to the 1st opposite... yeah, he was an outstanding phlosopher, not academical. and, well, I speak very fast.but I walk fast,make decisions fast,fall in love fast,think fast,hit fast,leave fast,make troubles fast,burn fast...I'm not in a hurry, that's my nature!she made me speak slower. it's difficult. not only because I got used to, but just because I can't. simply. I start to lose the chain of thoughts, utterances. all the listeners understood me fine. they told her about this fact, but... if you're a teacher and think that a student makes something wrong, why not just help him/her? why not use theacher's knowledge to show the way out?where is tolerance, peace, love and understanding?????well, I'll never be like the others.I'LL NEVER BE LIKE THE OTHERS.I do as I do.I speak as I do.I love as I do.I understand as I do.i explain as I do.I feel as I do.it's too late to change myself. doesn't matter how desperate and teenage does it sound.may be, i'm really stupid and weird.LET ME BE!LET ME BE WEIRDO!!!