3 weeks from today... Holy hell, this is really happening...

[The Jen Smith]

I am seeing Radiohead 3 weeks from today. Though this will only be special to some of you but, I will also be in mutha fucking Ireland of all places! It makes me cry. Seriously. It is so much some times, it is hard to contain. I know it’s chicky but this is honestly a dream come true. "How to Disappear Completely" is my favorite song by Radiohead (most days) and before the show I am going to float down the River Liffey that the band mentions in the same fucking song. I am going to crank the best song ever as we float down the river and then I am going to go see the band that nobody I know is more geeked out on, except possibly FFJ (Franklin - Charlotte show - look him up ladies, hot, hot, hot). But, I honestly think I am more geeked than he is. He would not have an opinion if you asked because he knows the truth! LOLAnd knowing Radiohead, as I do, they won't fucking play the song either. But, I still have 4 more shows after Ireland, so I will hear it. And, I've seen it live before anyway. I can't brag about a lot in my life but I got Radiohead as a back-up if I need it.You guys know I have pit tickets in San Diego, right? Just making sure everyone knows. I worked my ass off for this tour and deserve it. I have pimped this band like no other. I have schooled more kids on it and will keep doing it regardless if they want to be schooled or not. It is like my duty to the world. I've earned my Ph.D. in Radiohead. And 'in rainbows' and this tour is like a thank you to us uberfans who stuck through the tough times and, of course, are smart enough to know why the times had to happen and why the music was going to be worth the wait.Thank God football seasons starts in the beginning of September cause after August who knows when we'll see this band again! It is a gamble being a Radiohead fan. It really is. I'll always bet on them though.So, you guys are picking up what I am laying down right? I like Radiohead a little bit.I saw my family today. I saw them drive away like I don't exist. I could never treat my child like a leper. It's sickening. I sang "How to Disappear Completely" right then in my head. If you don't know the song, there is a video on my page (www.myspace.com/goodtimejen)."That there, that's not me. I go, where I please. I walk through walls. I float down the Liffey.I'm not here. This isn't happening. I'm not here. I'm not here."And, I haven't even started to talk about the music behind it all. But no word in that song compares to Thom's voice at the end. That is anguish and absolute beauty combined. What a gift to the world! Who else can do that? Who else could pull that off? Listen to the song, learn it, and try to sing it yourself if that is the only way to prove my point.Just listened to it again - crying. There's been so much sadness in my life. It has been so dark. It’s the "completely" in the song that is hard to do.I am happy and sad at the same time right now. Sorry. I had to do the right thing today with something even though the right thing to do sucked hairy balls. I hate being good. I wish I could be as bad as people think I am. I actually care about people. It sucks. It always ends up drivel. - Yes, that's from a Radiohead song - Let Down off Ok Computer if you were searching your brain.Jen