Absolutely no fun allowed

[Vanessa Vasquez]

So, public speaking. Very few people like it and those people are rarely seen by the rest of the world as they are no doubt currently holed up in various mental institutions. The rest of us are usually told to imagine something funny before we deliver our speeches to help ease our nerves.The typical example is to imagine someone in their underwear. Funny? No. Something I probably don’t want to see unless Jared Leto happens to be in the audience? Yes.Thus, when public speaking occasions arise, I have to call on my own natural form of Xanax. To this day, the funniest thing I’ve ever imagined is a playground wherein there is a sign stating: ABSOLUTELY NO FUN ALLOWED. Agree? Disagree?Before you disagree, I ask this of you: just imagine it.Okay, I gave your imaginative abilities too much credit. I’ll make it easy:

That was probably a bad example, as I’m unsure how anyone could have an experience resembling a good time with those wimpy pieces of plastic masquerading as slides, but you get the point.Anyway.I know what you’re thinking. How would such a rule be enforced? The police, of course, from the No Fun division.

It’s probably a good thing I gave up my dream of becoming the president in first grade.