Reality is a BITCH

[Vanessa Vasquez]

it's funny to me how people don't see you for what you are. or they don't want to see. if people let their guard down and actually looked at me and saw depression, pain, loss, and instability, then they would be forced to realize that they are living in a bubble. i suppose that is the beauty of "the outward self" as i like to call it. the person you allow others to see. but no matter who you are, who you are in a relationship with, or who you are the most comfortable with (even a therapist)...there is a "you" that no one sees. that is secret and caged and that is why no matter what...we are all inherently alone and always will be. i feel pain because of that. there is nothing i can do to really let someone in and i wish i could REALLY take comfort in the mantra i tell myself : "i don't need anyone. i am not needy. i am not dependent."