Task Surpriser

[Aaroyn]

Ever get that warm sensation to rub Crisco all over your kids and beat them with wooden reeds?-Now you can without getting arrested, thanks to Task Surpriser!!!Dreaming of taking an elderly woman to lunch and leaving her with the tab after you sneak out the backdoor?-Dream no longer!!!Want to blast 'Carry on Wayward Son' at 3:30 a.m. infront of a police office?-Blast on butt mann!!!Task Surpriser was developed in the early 1930's by my heavy step-son named Gint, who dressed like Andrew Dice Clay and set up pinochle tournaments for drunks and bullies. Without the presence of responsible parents and friends, Gint began starting fires and running supermarkets. In 1948, Gint cleaned up his act, rediscovered Christianity and created Task Surpriser. Now, Gint don't worry 'bout shit.Don't turn to drugs,Don't turn to the church,Turn to Task Surpriser...Your best interests are in his hand!