No-Where Of Importance
Pretending that here is actually no-where.
...everything all the time; God and Eternity...
The rain turned the sun into a bright coloured smile that stretched across the face of the sky.
I met a Boy in a Twenty-Seven Year Olds body-
blue eyes; like a child-
skin and bone; like amalnutrition child
in those
commercials that wrench your soul into
making a donation-
dirty fingernails
like the person who's too been looking/
For lost Treasure.
Stained brown Teeth;Like a person too poor
to afford a toothbrush.
Andrew shook my hand,
and bowed his head in humility
when we became properly Introduced,
i felt ashamed.
I told him not to thank me-
i asked him why his parents are not worried for him.
I told him that i wished i could take him home with me and take care of him.
I don't know why I cannot, but he knows, and does not ask any more from me but that I buy him some bread, peanut butter, and jam so that he may be able to make himself some sandwiches.
Andrew has not eaten since yesterday morning.
I want to take him out to dinner, but the clock strikes seven and he has to make it in time to the shelter at the church he is staying at.
I see Daniel. In Andrew, i see Daniel.
Everywhere...
Riding the skytrain from Gas Town to Commercial I pray for Andrew- that God Protects him.
I choke back tears at the thought of harm falliing upon the innocent;
Andrew; Like Daniel, Onley God
Can Save, Only God Knows
the Lonely Soul. There are souls to be
Worried for more than Andrews. I feel
As though God is already closer to a
Person like Andrew more than half the
People concerned about the Hockey Game
Then Again, Who am I to judge?
Concerned, I Am, Mainly with Myself.
and
then only rarely moved to compassion
when confronted with human tragedy.
what i feel all the time
reality is the canvas
for my emotions
to be painted upon
How tragically romantic
is a human being
Soul Cannot be Painted,
or Penned,
or even
Sung
to do it Justice.
What am i doing here? I"m at jj bean on commercial-and it doesnt matter at all because here is as good as being anywhere. i'm waiting, it always seems i am waiting although I hardly know for that which will fill the void- can anyone share this life of mine?
I suppose i've wished to escape myself today and finding that impossible, submitting to the present moment.
Right now it does not seem to matter if I"m here or anywhere else. I cannot get rid of this feeling of being spaced out. A feeling that time has shifted, the planets and the earth moved slightly out of orbit to the way they once were...?
I've changed somehow... and yet, i have remained the same.
There is nothing Profound about " This" Moment acxcept that " it is" , Mine.
Mine? No actually, not even this is mine. It's all passing. To whom it belongs to, I still do not Know.
except Nothing.
The Nudity of my own human form, my Own frailty and my form waiting to dissolve back into one.
Wondreing agian and again why i am here? what is it all for? ....
it's all for love alone.
it is this lack of love, or lack of a place to put ones love that causes this loneliness and anxiety.
I feel like no matter what i do i'm just wasting my time
i am lost and wandering, without purpose or cause.
I don't know why, but i don't want to go home- i don't want to go or be anywhere.
I feel detatched from myself and this place, and this page is the only thing that keeps me connected
like a chord pulling me down,
the anchor to my ship roaming,
lost at sea.
take rest, breath, try not to be so hard on yourself. I tell myself these things, but it never helps release the preasure. thoughts keep coming with no-where to put them properly. it helps to know that i'm not alone,
even when i feel lonely.
we are all in this together.
We Are all In this World Wondering "Why" for different reasons, that are the same.
Break all the differences down, and it's all the same.
All One.
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