How is it possible
for me to be more lonely
when I'm with you than when
I am on my own?
I guess that when I'm with you
it's not just you but
it's all the other people that
you might have been
if things hadn't happened
quite the way they did.
At what point do I realize that
it isn't you, it's just that
I can't keep myself from wondering,
can't help but deconstruct?
I know you like security,
and certainty, and surety,
but I get nauseated at
the thought of standing still.
______
Yes I know you want to fuck
and no, we probably won't again--
you haven't listened
to a word I've said.
______
My body like a weapon,
one you'd like to hold--
do you fear me now
or have I been too bold?
______
Oh, little girl,
how you wanted to be
someone fearless and brave,
now you hide from the sun!
Oh, little girl,
thought you'd rule the world--
what a terrible thing
to waste a wish on!
________
Should have kept my mouth shut
shouldn't stick my neck out
shouldn't stand so tall when you
just want to mow me down
Should have kept my clothes on
should have kept my legs shut
I can't speak for all but
I can speak at least for me.
_______
I lock the front door to my
best friend's parents' house,
Oh it sure is nice to be here
but it sure as hell ain't home.
Walk towards the lightning storm
and I hope it rains
and I don't know where I'm going
but it sure is nice to roam.
This is the first time that
I've ever been alone before,
and I just want to crawl
back into your bed
and please don't tell me that
you'll take me back into your arms,
you can't force a love to
rise up from the dead.
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