after watching mass on television

[nicholas]

a beautiful maladyof holy dread andforgetfulness assembledto remember how itis we've gotten soupset over reaching soinevitable a destinationeveryone born beforethey detonated the firstatomic bombwill die allat onceas if they all didin an instant on thatday and we're all justghosts, projections oftheir hopes mademanifest, burnt and fadingacross the earth, inthe indestructable falloutof their most evilextravagance andafterward our sorryshades will dissipatecowardly into abominableacts, wasting away onchildrens flesh, seekingstern obliteration, yearningfor discipline, for guidanceuntil we can rememberwhat we never learned;how to bebetter men