Bitterness and life

[ღ ℂℏ℟ḯʂ ღ]

So I cry in the darkness of the room, I'm crying because I'm mad at you.How could you leave me like this?Without any sort of explanation, without saying goodbye.So I spend the next days angry, without saying your name.However I think of you all the time.Time passes by but I'm still confused...Now i understand you (or at least i try) and I realize how selfish I was.But...why didn't you ever tell me anything?You never told me that you were feeling bad...the lack of communication is the worst enemy for a couple or for any relationship.I thought that I was giving you my best.I thought i was good enough for you.You were in my mind all the time so..what else did you need?So I smoke the last cigarette, now I'm listening to your favorite song, crying because I never understood you.I'm disappointed in myself and of our relationship.I started to blame myself for everything that happened and there isn't anything that makes me forget that...I dream about it, I go to work thinking about it...So one day a light appears in my mind. It opens my eyes and makes me realize that I should start living right now because I know that you'd love to see me happy; because if i did this to you, the only thing that I can do to solve it is doing what you want.I eat my favorite food again, I hear music as happy as I used to before, i go out with our friends.So I'm talking to you tonight as I will all the remaining nights of my life.I'm not angry, sad, nor happy.I'm just crying because finally i decide to live once again with you, even when you aren't here...by my good friend Ximena Navarro Esquivel