just putting words together

[Vanessa Vasquez]

I have not written. You know like really written. From deep down, the depths of my heart, written. I have maybe scratched the surface of the concept of writing, but I have not written.More like I have written for show only. Just to say I wrote something.But I have not told you what is truly suffocating me.Come to think of it, I don’t think I can tell you or anyone for that matter, what is really suffocating me. Because I personally don’t know.I can tell you that I am feeling lonely.I am feeling neglected, and sometimes forgotten.I can also tell you that I don’t like feeling of any of the above.But for now I am just going through the motions of life just to say that I have done them.I have submerged myself into this cozy suffocation. At times I fight for air and there are also time where I just don’t even care.Don’t read too much into my words. They don’t necessarily mean much. They are like storm clouds ready to roar and scream, but deliver very little rain.I just want to voice what I feel.Just because I feel it, it does not necessarily mean that I have a plan. I am just using my writings as an outlet. A method of venting until I see a viable plan. For now, there are none. If you know what I mean.