Ramblings (195)

Rhythmic Edema

Speakers blare each time I go to speak
Drowned out by droning monologues
over heavy bass
pretending a heartbeat proves a life

Lost in machinery straining
to keep up with the lies
hiding behind strobe lights

Seizures blind muscles
bound by contract
to searing pain that screams
in rock and roll drumbeats

Banging inside the skull
housing hope whipped numb 
in self pity and emptiness
Pretending to smile when nothing 
shines through venta black
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I Gathered Enough Pieces To Believe I Don't Love Yo

I loved the dog-ears of my favorite parts of you
rain washes the caked mud 
off the lies you wore as your perception broke dreams

I was never any good at hide and seek
though the chessboard was always center-stage,
strategies of a game you swore to win
without ever sharing the rules

Rules were meant to be broken
is all I heard in the cloudy hum of shared space
tug of war in saltwater and discarded words

I tore images out of anyone who reminded me
of how beautiful you are
a kaleidoscope in pieces of you I couldn't keep

You bled volumes to the world 
and spat articles through clenched teeth
at my blank pages now stained in your disdain

Running my finger across the memory
of a stone that crashed denial with hope
shaped like the lies you wore as your perception broke dreams

22718
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Concrete and Rainbows

carbon copy
cracker kids
all square and full of holes
chasing
someone else's dreams
doing only as they're told

gaping wounds
conformity
it's useless to resist
grayscale thoughts
behind closed eyes
rainbows do not exist

follow the leader
play pretend
grown-up rules, abide
broken backs
and camel straws
there is no place to hide

technicolor 
memories
it was just a game
forty years
of servitude
society's to blame

here and now
when youth is young
and colors bold and bright
uncharted paths
with neon skies
teach them hold true and tight

planets turn
and water flows
when dreams, have yet, to die
tomorrows 
more than yesterdays
the young see bluer skies

70316
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Frangible

Polished stone in gray-hued splendor
I see you seeing me
The real me
Beyond the facade
Through the masks
Can you see me seeing you
Behind your pain
Steeped in love
Truth hurts
So they say
But it's lies we tell ourselves
That gouge the deepest souls
Show me what you will
I will see what I will see
Baby steps to normalcy
Or giant leaps toward love
Fear tempered loneliness
Joy casts no shadows 
In eyes of burning smoke
Pure light
In darkness breaks
No
Darkness breaks
In pure light
Why must one break another
I am fragile, cracked
Will you break my darkness
I am void
The absolute absence 
Can your light
Penetrate the power of nothing
Why must one break another
Why must we torture 
Those who won't shatter

072616
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Vacuity In Excess

I wander aimlessly through this world without you
As I have countless times before
Ever feeling unwhole 
Once we happened upon each other
Completion
Bound by distance
What was once empty
Is now a void able to be filled
Only by you
I am able to be loved by you alone
Loving what has always been mine
Still, forced to wander aimlessly through this world without you

71916
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Unbowdlerized (beware)

Unbowdlerized (beware)

Razor-sharp fingernails scrape layers of flesh from eyelids
Splaying them eternally open
Can't unsee what's been seen
Can't unhear the sounds
Or unsmell the odor that rots in nostrils, infecting every rose
There's no stopping when they all stink the same
Can't undo, can't undo
Safety in bile where nightmares are birthed in reality,
In places that fester like the remnants of the lids that blinded
Bleach doesn't clean untruths
Fire doesn't burn hot enough to mask pain
Blisters seem like hope
Hope to heal
Hope to resemble something familiar
Peeling skin back with teeth
Wishing for them to bleed
When scalding tubfulls try to cleanse
the grime that sludges through a broken mind
Attached to a heart mindlessly lashed in the shame of

Love

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Power of SHE

Power of SHE

Thick skin falls in pieces
To reveal a molten liquid center
A beauty never gazed upon by another
A glow of heat and pain and ...love
Hidden from prying eyes
Kept safe from strangers and "loved ones" alike
Permanent fists grip tightly
As the center boils hot upon its release
And a trickle becomes a flood
In the right hands...

In the right heart
The stiff grip loosens
And new skin, soft and supple
Replaces the old
Stronger than one could have imagined
Sweeter than one could hope
A butterfly against the odds
And a struggle ends in .....love

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Grass and Concrete

Grass and Concrete

A quiet life
A country life
Where the grass sways in the breeze
And the hues of green signify the beginning of balmy nights
A far cry from the city
Gone are the endless vibrant lights
Gone are the 2 a.m. trips across town just because they make the best doughnuts
In this place of air almost too clean to breathe
They stroll
A traffic jam is four cars at a stop sign
Battling rules of the road with polite hat tips of "you go first"
Fast feet and hot dog carts
Italian ices on every corner
Fifty-six blocks to a destination
A world of choices
A billion footprints at a time
Stoplight crowds of sneakers and pantyhose
Everyone is invisible and naked at once
The green haired freak and the business man
The limos and the gypsy cabs
The excitement only felt in a world of possibilities
The difference between pick up trucks and bike messengers
A hundred miles for supplies
Or fifty-six blocks of everything under the sun
Soot filled pores and too much traffic
Street sounds to sleep by and a world of opportunities
Crickets and junebugs
The world closes at eight
Nightlife turns into Wal-Mart and Taco Bell
The slow pace of growing grass
The warmth of a winterless Summer
Wishing for a trip across town at 2 a.m. just because they make the best doughnuts

4/25/15

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in the tunnel at the end of the day

in the tunnel at the end of the day

The dark hole that pours out people
Like a gravity defying waterfall
Had a heartbeat that day
Barely audible on the surface
Fighting rush hour traffic to get in
Where the world was getting out
Lured deeper underground
By the echo of a soul
Walking past the platform
Drawn to the rhythm
Like only those whose minds hear in color can be
It grew louder, defiant
Begging to be heard over the stomping herd of human cattle
Yet, whispering its song through the veins of all who cared to listen
Against the wall
Out of the way, almost unseen
There on a milk crate
With a bucket and a stick
Sat a boy with worn out sneakers
The deep sound of air caught in a drum
The high pitch of a stick on the edge
The melodious rise and fall
Of fingers and palms on the smooth surface
Garbage, an old used five gallon bucket
A twig and broken milk crate
Still, in this tunnel sat a boy
Whose heartbeat echoed in the corridor
The only time I ever gladly missed a train

4/25/15

in the tunnel at the end of the day

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If a Kiss Is Just a Kiss, You're Doing It Wrong

If a Kiss Is Just a Kiss, You're Doing It Wrong

There in the closeness
A hairs breadth away seems a million light-years
The sweetest air fills lungs in hurried breaths
A quickened heartbeat drowns out the world
The mind twists and sways in thoughts that soon become a blur
Melded into emotion, into heat
And time stands still

Drawn like magnets to fill the gap
That electric blue spark lingers behind a gaze
Current runs high
Feeling the blood rushing through the smallest veins
Every cell electrified, every hair on end
The weakening of unwanted defenses
That moment the body and soul acquiesce
And time stands still

In the stroke of a cheek
The almost intangible sensation of gliding on smoke
Rising as the embers burn from within
And each breath fans the flames
Proximity feeds passion
As time stands still

The past, erased methodically, deliberately
For there is only this
This birthing of eternity
This moment when the tentative brushing of lips
Burns into soulful coalescence
This one reality
This moment
When time stands still

If a Kiss Is Just a Kiss, You're Doing It Wrong

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Here's to Hope Uninterrupted

Bad dreams fill the soul with a sadness all too real.
A soul searches through the darkness
A distant beacon beckons
Stretching through shadowed tears
Touching with such earnest longing
Guided peacefully to that place between dreams,
Where emotions leach into reality
That place where "never" does not exist
It is here, where true happiness its bred

Copyright©PrttyBrd 17\11\13
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Scruples

Here lies a lonely heart
And here it was besought
Too acquiescent to question
Too obstinate to acquiesce
Neither foolish, nor naive
The heart endeavors
Tattered in the process
Tentative in its gifts
With but one request
Yet, in its stead
was found thoughtless untruths
Holding fast to words spoken
Despite the fact the truth remains unhidden
Prefer honest consequences to deceit
Regardless how pale in color

Peruse more of my poetry@  http://hellopoetry.com/prttybrd/

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Perfidy

Cracked, depleted and downright broken
Left in the lurch by sweet, sweet lies
Knowing one can't, but must...still
Shadowed thoughts and twisted memories
Alone together and together alone
Days in shades of a bruised ego
Nights in darkened yesterdays
Remembered only in the mind's eye
By letting go, it will cease to exist
Longing to continue where the beauty is laid to rest

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Defenses Eroded

 

Minutes to hours to days to weeks
No one can find what they do not seek
Persist even when the future is bleak
Make better choices
The heart is strong when the spirit is weak
Don't heed the voices

The ones that speak to you alone
That talk you into what you can't condone
They say you have no mind of your own
And the flesh will rule you
And you feel a child, even though you're grown
How the mind can fool you

Feelings overrule the mind
The heart is ever so unkind
With temptation close behind
It's logic or passion
It's a battle you will find
of brutal fashion

Lodged between the moral wrong
More than tragedy in song
Walking where you don't belong
The path's not chosen
Standing still, yet pulled along
Toward a heart Ambrosian

Copyright©PrttyBrd 20\11\13
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Discontent (a haibun)

thoughts of joy infused my dreams.  despite what life had taught me.  once gray, had changed in hue, and somehow, I believed.  perhaps I just wanted to believe.  the possibility enticed me.  the hope that the claims were real.  nothing forced, nothing false. alas, the excitement was short lived.  as with most things, the gray has returned as black.

Trust has been broken
Through neglect, if not through lies
Final lesson learned

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The End

The EndSneaking in from the shadowsIt fills the spaces too small to seeThe heart feels full, masked by joyYet, the mind is subtly, subconsciously awareIt lurks in the backgroundStill, the joy expands like hot airIt lifts the spirit and blinds the soulThen, it begins to surfaceIt remains unnoticed for a time, then ignored for longerIt is nothing new, as it has always been there...in the distanceNow, as it pushes through the perceived joyIt darkens the heart,Choking out pleasure with painAnd joy with sadnessSmoke filled lungs and watery eyesYet, nothing has changed.There is no difference between today and yesterday,There will be no difference between today and tomorrowNothing to doNo one to blameUnable to force the heart to feel what it used toUnable to see the good over all elseThe change weighs heavily on the soulAnd though it is not what is wanted,It is what must be done, ...As it is time.9/7/13
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SoulEater

SoulEaterdesperate for a break in lonelinesslonging to be devouredheart once removedprey versus predatorgentle, lays the Beastslowly fueled by crowds of vacant eyesprimal feasts of fleshno bearing on the soulno pastno futuremomentarily sateda life of pretenseconstructs of reality morph with moodcrushed and renovated by perceptionthe soul eats trusting heartsunable to quench the thirstit spits out bare bonesand goes on its wayliving for the bliss of escapeoblivious to consequences no one else can seeCopyright©PrttyBrd 28/9/13
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Traces of You

Traces of You

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,  
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

copyright©PrttyBrd 27/06/2012
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Sun on the Horizon

Sun on the Horizon

by PrttyBrd

In the gray hours of pending dawn,
time seems endless
Dreams meld into reality, as true desires
breathe their first breath of life
In that space, with no consequences, lies the answer
The answer to every unasked question
The answer to every possibility
Fear has yet to be awakened before the day is touched by the creeping morning sun,
whose light bears the weight of the death of dreams
The sun that brings with it the doubt that plagues humanity
For in the predawn silence, true happiness resides
Nay, thrives in the hearts and minds of all
With childlike exuberance, belief in the improbable is clutched to the breast,
as the last vestiges of slumber melt it from the tightest grasp
Yet, with this glowing hellstar, begins a brand new day
And with each new day comes a chance to snag the tiniest piece of perfection along for the ride

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