Work (2)

Finding meaning in the closing shift.

I work in retail these days. I manage the cafe within a large bookstore. If I work "closing", I am usually working 2pm to 11pm. It's pretty fuckin' late by the time I get home. And then I'm lit from all the coffee I drank and from various physical activities involved in closing. But there is still something very fun and freeing there.

Despite my shitty pay and having to answer to bosses at two corporations (the book store and the coffee company) there is some merit to the closing shift. As business quiets down at night, and my personality tends to move toward the silly (if not giddy) I find myself able to have conversations with my co-workers (all younger employees) in which I see myself as mentor, not in a work sense, but in a love yourself and enjoy life sense. I just want everyone to feel good about themselves...most are under so much pressure in college, or from parents, or even from odious and out-of-proportion comparisons of themselves to others.

We all need to learn to love people and have fun, it can come in handy when times get tough and we find ourselves doing meaningless tasks, like measuring and logging the wasted remains of two urns of coffee every hour on the hour.

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Not much to write these days... Work takes most of my day, sleep and idling use the rest.Can't help but get angry at myself for not taking time for all the stuff that matters, feeling apathic, want to go back to bed, in the dark, and WAIT. I don't know what I'm waiting for, but that's all I'm doing. Not even thinking, what a shame. Still have to install the new Firefox release and test it. Have been told bad stuff about it, hmmm. Still have to find a white dress for tonight. Cosplay party, I'd like to go as Sadako Yamamura from the リング trilogy, but I need the dress, and something to dye my hair. Might be fun to wander in the streets barefoot and in a white dress, it's warm enough.I've been out last night, idiotic business party ; speeches and drinking in a place you cannot access if you don't have a car ; crawl back in your head until you can get to the people you know and try to have fun (and make fun of others & listen to the firm gossip. That's actually the best part. Tongues definetely loosen in these parties, and you learn sooo much material). Hopefully (or not), I got there just as the managers speech ended (a shame, really), I had work to finish as soon as possible, might have to work this weekend, etc. I didn't want to go anyway. Was dragged by fellow coworkers (shit) with the promise of having fun and(as long as I was concerned for not having eaten all day) free food. The place was nice, enough trees to forget the big road just around the corner, and for once we got lucky with the weather. It was warm, it was sunny, the end-of-spring air was light and when I arrived (after struggling to park the car) I felt that, if I could find food and activate my selective hearing chip, maybe, just maybe, I could get through the night.The beginning wasn't so bad after all. Laughed for a while with a few people, made fun of others while others made fun of me, got my hand around a wiimote (4 wiis & 8 wiimotes for 250/300 more or less geek people, can you believe that ?)."We ate the food (they obviously didn't know how to cook meat on a barbecue, but dessert was great, first strawberry of the year !), we drank the wine, everybody having a good time..." (been listening to Achtung Baby these days, I forgot it was such a good record.). I didn't even talk about the end of the world, but had a nice conversation about Pierre Desproges. And about the difference between fandom and passion. Yeah, probably the best part of the night.Then music started, organizers probably expecting us to dance on the shit they put on, and I made a dignified exit. Had fun again when it was time to leave, for the guy I was taking home was struggling to understand how the provided alcootest worked, then marvelling at the green spreading beyond the limit. Kept mine for my flatmate, I'm sure he'll be moved by the gesture.We managed to get lost on the way home, which is nice even though I was a bit tired. I hope I'll never have to buy a GPS. I never could understand the use of it. Having a computerised voice telling you where to go reminds me of my driving class ; and mostly, how can you get lost if someone tells you where to go ? Well, seeing your parents reading maps when you go on holidays surely wrap your mind about how to go somewhere, or maybe I'm old before age.
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