Logic is fleeting where emotions are concerned. When you are a logical thinker with an emotional baseline, you are forced to live with a certain duality that confounds life exponentially. Even the simplest things seem to warp into a fog of irrationality while trying to reconcile the two halves. These particular sides of self seem diametrically opposed. While no one sets out to make the mundane parts of life irreconcilably difficult, at times it cannot be avoided. Then, of course, comes the dilemma of do you follow logic, or your heart.
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I’m amazed at how television seems to have decidedly desensitized a nation to the horrific nature of a seemingly useless war, glorified editorials of the mundane daily lives of our soldiers overseas. A footnote of casualties and some highlighted individual tragedies-turned-feel-good stories of a few sent home.It’s war and I can believe those sent to do their duty make the best of every minute they have. I can’t, however, believe that the media is ramming that down our throats as the reality of this war. We are shown instances of what the others did, but it feels like a justification of why we are there, rather than objective news.The way this war has been portrayed is shameful. It is not a “feel good” story, it is barbaric and, at this juncture, over the top. I feel like we are bullying the world. It nauseates me. I’m tired of hearing about it. The politics of war are ridiculous. We teach our kids to play nice and stand up for themselves not stomp the weak into the ground and then pick their pockets. I am truly sickened.
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Old friends and warm heartsLong time no seeOut of sight but still in thoughtsLife changing alterationsTime-tested yet ignoredA link to a lifetime agoRemembrance of innocence, of fear and of truthRelationships forged in pubertySurviving adolescenceAnd latching on strong and trueLike a bulb long since forgotten under the soilA bit of sunshine bears a beautiful flowerBrilliant yet somehow familiarUnexpected surprises brighten the dayThe heart hangs in that peaceful placeBetween who you thought you were and who you think you areThat place that lets you see yourself how they see youThat place that, for a moment, lets you believe you are amazingThere is happiness in those instances when you are outside yourselfBriefly embracing the possibility that your roles do not define youThat there is more to you than you can seeFlying high above a warped sense of selfThere is peace and a feeling of truth in othersTrying hard to hold on to the momentRemembering and believingIf that can be done, the rest is easy
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Shades of gray pave the wayTo a rockslide of moralityHonesty; when it gets you somethingLowered standards make the gradeSubmission no longer requires a beatingConsequences be damnedVillage idiots rule the worldSilenced massesHopeless and witheredBlinded by conformity
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Perhaps letting someone peruse the pages of my little book of crappy thoughts wasn't the best idea. Now, with the passing of time and no word, I can't help but wonder if the ugly that I puked onto those pages made her run for the hills. Didn't really think I was that scary. Who knew?I would say that this will churn itself into even more useless wasted ink. At least I use recycled paper. Woo Hoo!!!
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Three hours of talking outside myself has left me slack-jawed and stupefied. Do I really love the sound of my own voice? I think not. Sometimes a mind just needs to pour off the excess in the most accessible fashion.
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From a chrysalis to a butterflyAs her wings slowly unfurlHer colors emerge, brilliant and beautifulPatterns so mesmerizing;It is almost unimaginableWhere did she come from?Where will she go?To see her becoming is ethereal.A child as any other into a woman so amazing she glows from within. Britlie, my niece, my joy, and my hope. I love you.
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Too wired to sleepToo tired to functionFoggy days and sleepless nightsWhite noise nightmaresCareless slips of the tongueJagged expressionsFaceless othersGliding by outside yourself
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Posted by PrttyBrd on September 30, 2008 at 8:00pm
Ever-changing plansClueless frustrationHe said, she saidNot really caring either wayYour frustration sounds like condescensionAnd feels like crapMy imitation confidenceShatters at the thought of your barbed words
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Posted by PrttyBrd on September 19, 2008 at 7:00pm
So much to do, yet drawn to the ethereal glow. Behind closed doors it beckons, calling out in silence. Trying to walk past, is an exercise in futility.Darn the computer age.
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Posted by PrttyBrd on September 19, 2008 at 7:00pm
Try to understand. Cranky is a mood. It’s not angry or upset. It’s irrational and unthinking. It is unbridled ugly. And it is only temporary. You cannot reason with cranky. You just let it run its course. Unfortunately, words wound and perceptions are fragile. Proceed with caution.
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Posted by PrttyBrd on September 19, 2008 at 7:00pm
Blowing breezesRip leaves from branches prematurelyThe air is cooledBy the brush of a stormThe world seems so perfectBlue skies and soft cloudsThe breeze calms the sunNice to be outsideIt feels like a play dayA day to sit and feel the breeze on your faceTo watch in awe at the glorious world around youThe many hues of green and brown and blueThe amazing complexity of a flower, any flowerToday God is happy
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Posted by PrttyBrd on September 19, 2008 at 6:30pm
Living with the glimpses of Satan that bubble to the surface from so deep within that it almost doesn’t really exist. That is what is excruciating, the aftermath of stupidity, the fear of yourself.
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Posted by PrttyBrd on September 19, 2008 at 6:30pm
Heavy hearts weigh you down. Long fingers of regret reach far and wide touching all who love you, changing you forever in their eyes. Like a child that holds a chick too tightly, he may never know the “sleep” he induced was eternal, but that doesn’t change the fact that its death was at his hand.
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Posted by PrttyBrd on September 19, 2008 at 6:30pm
Waves of emotion come spewing forthChanneling the pain of othersTaking their sorrow to lessen their burdenAnything to unlock the chainsThat tether to a tortured youth
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Posted by PrttyBrd on September 19, 2008 at 6:30pm
Take responsibility for your actions.But don’t let them define you.Make better choices.Forge ahead.Let go of the past.See things how they are.Release the anger.Let in the sun.and enjoy yourself.
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Posted by PrttyBrd on September 19, 2008 at 6:30pm
A colorless sunset disappearsMelancholy underlies a quiet night aloneItchy feet and restless thoughtsNo sleep for the wearyWhite noise fills the space reserved for real emotionCrippled mind and clogged heartRegurgitating memories trying to feel myselfComfort in the absence of painA vapid existenceA quiet night alone
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