the message is the message
.end transmission.
strange (10)
keeee-RAP.
Here comes the sickler with her brand new polaroids...
acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances
would be nice again.
[oh?]
trust me.
{oh.}
who knows. maybe i'll see you again someday. stranger things have happened after all.
it's a small city
we'll see.
or not
we'll see. one way or the other.
what's there to see exactly?
there's this movie that i like. that i watched again the other night.
these two characters have a very brief affair. and it comes to an abrupt and odd end.
one of them says to the other as it's ending: "what's wrong with you?"
and the other replies: "let me think about that. i'll tell you the next time i see you."
to which: "sure. tell me then."
on my first 1 or 2 viewings, i always thought the one *believed* they would see the other again, and that they would say just what was wrong with them. but this last time, on friday, i recognized that they only said it because they knew they would never see the other again.
what's there to see, K----? I don't know. and that's ok.
ah, what a hemingway-esque dialogue. yes, it's okay.
___________
...I remember the day that I walked away from this empty flight...
it was a month ago today.
I do think i know what's happening.
and i am fighting.
but.
it's probably slipping through my fingers.
walls have gone up.
until rings are off.
feelings locked.
key to be found.
but can it.
doubt.
fear.
sadness.
yet.
hope remains.
a glimmer.
it has to.
or.
10 pounds lost.
mind dizzied.
a stomach gutted.
a soul stirred.
a heart wrenched.
like a landfill.
a blur of images.
love lost.
love blossomst.
love lost again.
only one way to find out.
only one.
tremors now.
funny how i've never seen hers.
but now i have them.
i miss i want your lips.
i miss every stupid thing.
i miss i'm still talking to you.
this is fuckd up.
fuckd up.
but let me take control.
you can offer me escape.
is it too much.
we'll see.
we.
will.
see.
next stop:
even stranger.
flypaper
wallpaper
sandpaper
doesn't paper
it doesn't matter
it doesn't matter
here it comes
creeping in
hovering about
touching down
rising up
do i feel it
not at all
not at all
only outcome
lose both
wanted it on my arm
'say her name'
it doesn't matter
it doesn't matter
never expectation only hope
they ask
where is the couch
where is the cabinet
i can't tell them
they can't understand
at all
at all
Are you swimming in her pools?
Are you swimming in her pools?
Will you be brushing off her snow?
Will you be brushing off her snow?
Will you be brushing off her snow?
How can you stand the cold?
How can you stand the cold?
And if you're still there when it snows
Will you still be there when it goes?
Will you still be there when it's time
To fill the pools again?
And will you be coming back here?
Will you be coming back here?
Will you be coming back here?
Are you running up the river banks
And tracing them like long fingers
Are you running up her river banks
And navigating them?
Fingers of a hand
'Cause fingers make the hand
And rivers make the land
Is she cradling you well?
Oh is she cradling you well?
'Cause if I call you baby, she should cradle you well
Does she fucking know?
Does she fucking know?
And how the lines that appear around your eyes
When you are smiling
Are revered for the way in which they always reappear
Oh, will you be coming back here?
Oh, will you be coming back here?
Oh, will you be coming back here?
I hope you find your mother
I hope you find your mother there
I hope you find your mother there
You hit the ground running with a terrifying speed
But it's the ground you cover that terrifies me
And brace yourself for the sound of bleeding
'Cause bleeding hearts bleed
Bleeding hearts bleed
Bleeding hearts bleed
And "please" is not a word that I ever say quietly...
You said your love was fierce, fierce, fierce
You said your love was fierce, it's true
You said your love was fierce, fierce, fierce
You said your love was fierce and I agree with you
His child of the future is the child I am seeing, too
You said your love was fierce and I agree with you
These tigers at heart are the tigers I am seeing, too
You said your love was fierce and I agree with you
oh there'll be time
she's sick
oh there'll be time
she's done fighting
oh there'll be time
...
you have your fits I have my fits
one rule though: you're not allowed to pity me. ever.
right.
You gotta give a little you gotta get a little bit
...
kinetic memory of lips
I cant find you at our kissing place
i don't like it but i feel like every little stupid thing, you're the person i want to tell
and that's not good
because you are sort of an illusion
for now
time moves so quickly when I'm with you and so slowly when I'm not.
i miss you already and i just saw you and i'm still talking to you
_____
FIFTY-SIX starts its begin.
84 Rside is where you'll find me now
under the streetlight
leaves on the ground
and her taste in my mouth
and the rain in my hair
are you smelling my hair
yes
are you punching me
just feeling you're real
walk
t.k.m.
leave
shot
come back
t.k.m.
smile
watch
amazing
walk
laugh
sigh
smile
kim a - i followed through from so long ago
i followed through
i foloowed through
i follwd throu
iflwd thrh
today.
today.
today.
(say her name.)
a mere mortal am I.
for now.
(soon: Vermont. Feelings Store. Swimming Pool.)
