My Mother's Suicide

[Rhael Joy Laramy]

My Mother's Suicide.

There is moss that covers the lawn and it cradles my toes gentler then the grass
I witness my mother's suicide
As the grass claims it's fate from the mower
I know we are not alone
I know we are not gods
But I stand at the swings and declare myself the saltine cracker in earth's finer soups
I feel a plunge in my stomach as the plane I am on in the reality I have made shifts to adjust for the wind
And the wind howls as nothing before has torn through it
I own the pilot
This is my testimony to art
If only I could drive myself home
I know I am not alone
I know I am not god
But I am as yet no one known.

She used the scissors
To curl ribbons
Columns of red gushed
The pressure in my ears builds
And a sharp searing pain doubles me over
I hear her scream
The ants on the sidewalk build a boardwalk of practicality
I swallow a cherry
I wear lace underwear
The ambulance arrives and I wilt into the carpet
I know we are not alone
I know we are not gods
The hospital looms like a villain in the night.
I collapse.