Paranoia

[Alese]

I'm really mad at myself. I feel like I've been afraid of ... everything for so long. At the same time I have no idea what it is that I'm actually afraid of. This fear conquers my entire life though. It keeps me from doing a lot of the things I WANT to do. I'm so scared of... something. Even worse I know if I don't do something about it soon I'm going to grow up and be that person who hates them self because I'll be thinking "what if" all the time. What if I had done that, what if I had said that.... damnit, and hold on to some form of regret for not doing everything I always wanted to. I don't know what holds me back though. It's myself for sure. It's definitely in my head... I don't know how to get it out.