pt 2

[Rhael Joy Laramy]

I talked to my social worker, Brenda Huhn, today and I get to go home in two days.  My mother sounds surprised but she’ll tell my grandparents to come and get me.  I don’t remember the first time I was in a psych ward; I remember the third time, after I tried to commit suicide.  I told everyone I had fallen, but the truth was that I fell intentionally from a twelve foot wall on the midway.  I had been running from demons.  I thought the demon would steal away my light and I would die spiritually.  Suicide is physical death.  I ran into the street and tried to get hit by a car but that didn’t work.  So, I walked up the wall until I came to the right spot and had the right guts to drop.  I turned around, facing a large Menards parking lot, and spread my arms out then I stepped backwards and fell.  I struck my tailbone first then my head hit the pavement and crushed in three places.  I blacked out completely.  There was a man standing over me, holding out a water bottle.  He had called the ambulance.  I wasn’t wearing shoes or a bra.  I was in my Dairy Queen uniform with black stretch pants.  This is the psych ward I remember, in Saint Paul, it was called Regions.