There's still hope.

Two good things have happened to me in the last 24 hours. The first is kind of morbid, so I'll suggest to skip it if you feel uncomfortable reading about death and dying:

First:
I had a resident last night who's condition deteriorated from 11 pm on in incredible speed. She was 95 years old. The doctor on call from a near-by hospital was quite young and while he examined her I was just thinking 'Please please don't do anything. Don't admit her, don't medicate her, just leave her alone.' I was about to say just that when he said: "Ok, this is all good. I can see she is comfortable. Just give her oxygen and keep her chest at high level. You're doing a good job."
I spent as much time with her as I could spare which is, alas, not hardly enough when you have 45 residents to take care of. As did my colleagues (despite their 45 other residents).
She died at 5.15 am and everything was good.
That's how it should be, I wish it was always like that.


Second:
I received an e-mail from a younger colleague who starts a new job in April and who is now enjoying her left over vacation days. We became sort of friends over the last year, despite our blatantly obvious differences, like age, background, and our opposite taste in just about anything (clothes, men, books, anything!). She has come from an abusive background, got beaten up by a boyfriend (whom she left straight after, good girl) and has experienced other things that made me appreciate my not untroubled but all in all peaceful upbringing and luck in life.
Anyway, in her e-mail she thanked me for teaching her my opinions and values on the job (her words, not mine) and how she realized the importance of not letting things just pass by when you know there is something wrong. And how she will integrate this principle into her future self-concept as a nurse, even if it means that you are not always friends with everyone.
In other words: I've created yet another bitching trouble maker who just won't keep her mouth shut.
And I am endlessly proud of it.


I feel sappily appreciated and have one of these rare moments when, despite all evidence, at least once in a while life seems to make sense and that what goes around comes around.
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