What are you up to?

[John Doe]

What am I doing right now? Thats a quite direct question. I am currently in my room, sitting infront of a computer screen, the speakers are projecting AMOK and my mind is slowly ascending towards the ceiling while wondering if my life is heading towards any direction that makes sense. Why the hell am I suddenly studying psychology when i could spend the rest of my life picking thrash? I think I want to prove to myself that i can attend such a class for a certain time. I know its all wishful thinking and lies. I know its going to end up like it always does, with me down at the bottom, back at square one, ground zero. The same place I always return to when I try to get anywhere. So why am I struggling? Why are we all struggling? Is that what makes us human?