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minimally abstract

a vague memory as you sleep,creeping on your bitten tonguetwisting worms,just an image in the dark.a faint whisperlightning colored walls trap me inand I can't help but let them comeIn the light of my dreamsI awaken.An empty silence unforgivingEvery tunnel I enter on tiptoesAnd still, the shadows find me outI never knew this weaknessMy heart twisting into ribbonsdead fish flailing on the sandthe wind can't whisper away my tearscan the leaves listen in on my fearstangled and brokensoft words left unspokenfrom the lips.how could i have phrasedthis thought this state of beingmy body my mindspread out like goo on the ground?don't lift me upfrom here I can hear the soundsof where your heart has gone,deep in the edge of a swamp.i died young, i died youngAnd when I look out, anywhere,behind from a bar of treesi imagine faint lights from the north,your haunting face,your broken grace.
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I just realised

I'm not going to be able to go to any of the tour dates next year unless they happen to coincide with my bosses holiday. I have to save my two weeks leave so I can go on HONEYMOON! :DYes, it's still going ahead, we are booking venues and looking at lists of people and so on......... very early stages. I don't think my lovely fiance will tolerate a Radiohead tour instead of a honeymoon (though he has always wanted to go to South America... and .... enjoyed London.... UM............)I have another week's annual leave left this year but I don't know what to do with it. I would like to go back to the States, but really I don't need to make that long flight and it would cost a fair bit for one week only. I would just as happily go to Spain or Morocco for a week, it would be hot and I would save myself a packet.Oh, decisions, decisions!
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Radiohead's live broadcast of the Santa Barbara show was a very good reason to miss most of a night's sleep. It will be posted all over the place for those who missed it. Opening with Reckoner they played all of In Rainbows throughout the set. Optimistic, There There, Talk show Host, The National Anthem, Karma Police, Body Snatchers just some of the Highlights. Go Slowly was absolutely perfect. Thom played Cymbal Rush from Eraser, very welcome. I hope this broadcast will be intercut with other footage for a video release at a later date, who knows? Thom made many comments through the show, but one of my favourites was, "This is for anyone who's had surgery - you'll (or we'll) all be dead soon", presumably to those who had had cosmetic surgery. He tempered it later with, "I didn't mean it about the surgery; you know, whatever you want to do". Go check it out. ( Was that really a bit of Flight of the Concords after RH had left?)Set List:1. Reckoner2. Optimistic3. There There4. 15 Step5. All I Need6. Nude7. Talk Show Host8. Weird Fishes9. The Gloaming10. Morning Bell11. The National Anthem12. Faust Arp13. No Surprises14. Jigsaw Falling Into Place15. The Bends16. Karma Police17. Body SnatchersFirst Encore18. Cymbal Rush!9. House of Cards20. Paranoid Android21. Go Slowly22. Everything In It's Right PlaceSecond Encore23. Videotape24. Lucky25. Ideoteque
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:'(

And I thought newspapers were more reliable than television... I think I'm through with reading French rag.

While in the French newspapers... Le Monde is supposed to be a serious one... Ouh la boulette !

For non French speakers, the title says 'the ratio of poor people within the global population has diminished by half since 1981'...........Hum.
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25 August 2008: Radiohead @ Hollywood Bowl, NIGHT 2!

In the months before my Radiohead concerts, I made lists upon lists -- all of the songs I wanted to hear the most, the songs I would kill to hear live (even though several of them were dropped from the live sets years ago, and I knew I would never get them). I revised and scrapped countless lists. I waited and hoped, watching every setlist on the tour to see if they would play some of my favourites in other cities, disappointed when some of my old favourites never made it back, jealous when other cities got my favourite rare songs.Nothing, however, could have prepared me for the night of epic greatness that was Radiohead @ Hollywood Bowl, Night 2. I knew going in that if Radiohead is playing the same city 2 nights in a row, the second night is always better. I knew that being in a boxseat would change everything. I knew... but I didn't know.I should have known when we walked right past Keanu Reeves on our way in the door that this was going to be something. I should have known when I got to my box and the 3 people I was sitting with were absolutely lovely, and we spent Liars' entire set mocking them and covering our ears, and anticipatorily geeking out about Radiohead. I knew, but I didn't know.And then the house lights dimmed, and we jumped out of our chairs. Literally, everyone on the Terrace jumped out of our seats, cheering and clapping and screaming in anticipation. My legs were shaking, and I couldn't hold my camera still, so I pocketed it for later. The stage lights came up. The band walked out. Thom was wearing his red pants of joy. I knew, from that moment, that this would be the set of a lifetime. This was that setlist:ReckonerOptimisticThere There15 StepAll I NeedPyramid SongWeird Fishes/ArpeggiThe GloamingVideotapeTalk Show HostFaust ARPTell Me Why (Neil Young cover)No SurprisesJigsaw Falling Into PlaceThe BendsThe National AnthemNudeBodysnatchers----House of CardsPlanet TelexGo SlowlyFake Plastic TreesTrue Love Waits/Everything In Its Right Place----Cymbal RushKarma PoliceIdiotequeThere were far too many highlights in this show to choose just a few. I will try, but seriously, I spent this setlist thinking to myself "They can't possibly play anything to top this" and then each subsequent song did precisely that. They blindsided me with several songs I never dreamt I would get, especially True Love Waits, and the Neil Young cover, both of which were awe inspiring. At several points during the set, I turned to the lovely couple behind me and said aloud "Oh my god, I don't believe this is really happening!!" and they just smiled and nodded, this not being their first Radiohead tour.At one point during the set, Thom pointed to the kids in the nosebleeds and said a quick hello to them, and I realised when I looked back the sheer magnitude of the night -- thousands and thousands of people, just as lucky as me. A literal sea of people clapping, cheering, dancing, and basking in the gloriousness of the night.As I said earlier, it is impossible to choose my favourite moments, because this entire night keeps replaying in my memory as one of the most amazing (if not the most amazing) nights of my life. I will try to narrow it down to 10, but seriously, every single song in this set was absolutely amazing. Here goes:10. Karma Police -- this was one for the good days, and also one for everyone singing along to. And PianoJonny.9. Cymbal Rush -- just Thom and his piano. Just a beautiful song from his solo album. Just a crowd who knew enough to be silent at all the right moments. Just amazing.8. Tell Me Why (Neil Young Cover) -- this was breathtaking. Thom, Jonny, 2 acoustic guitars, and a whole lot of incredible. 10,000 people sat silent, rapt. It was remarkable.7. Fake Plastic Trees -- this song has broken my heart since the first time I heard it. Live, it is every bit as vulnerable. Remarkably, 10,000 people singing along, and it is still just as vulnerable, and entirely as brilliant.6. Planet Telex -- I never dreamt I would get this, but when I heard Jonny casually strum the first chords, letting the suspense build as it dawned on us that we were actually getting Planet Telex, I knew I was a lucky, lucky girl.5. No Surprises -- such a pretty song and such a pretty setlist, and this was very nearly too much for my little heart.4. Talk Show Host -- a personal favourite of mine, and it sounds absolutely brilliant live -- Jonny and Thom rocked the hell out of this song, and I was ecstatic to get it.3. True Love Waits/Everything In Its Right Place -- every night when Thom begins EIIRP, he works in a couple lines from another song -- sometimes a Radiohead song, sometimes a cover song, but it's always something. However, in the depths of my little hopes, I never would've dreamt we'd get True Love Waits -- and when I heard the first lines, I was in utter disbelief -- until he kept going, and we got nearly the entire song. I've always loved TLW, and considering they've not played it in years (and have only played it 21 times out of 540 shows), it was an absolute coup that we got as much of it as we did.2. The Bends -- one of my old favourites, and one that I haven't heard done so well in years -- this one absolutely took me back to the beginnings of my love for Radiohead, and it was glorious.1. Go Slowly -- this is a new song, and the first time I heard it when I got my discbox, I immediately fell in love with it. This is Radiohead at their most stripped and essential, and Jonny playing the celeste on the record is so atmospheric -- this song breaks my heart and puts it back together, and I love it for that. I never dreamt I would actually get this song live, and was in shock when the lights went to dark blue and the first chords were played. It does sound a little bit different live, but it was every bit as beautiful and haunting as I hoped it would be.I am the luckiest girl in the world. When the house lights came up, after the guys had waved and exited the stage, I just stood there for a minute, stunned. This really happened, it dawned on me, this really happened and I was here. The weight of it was nearly unbearable -- this setlist is one for the ages, and quite possibly one of the best ever. This was more than I ever expected, and more than I think I deserved. But I recognise just how lucky I am. All the way home in the car, my friend and I were nearly speechless -- all we seemed to be able to say was "Oh my god, that just happened." I have no idea how they will top this setlist for Santa Barbara... but I can't wait to find out.From the pit.
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First, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, way back in 1997, I was a sophomore in high school -- a very ordinary high school, in a very ordinary Northern California college town. I wasn’t your ordinary high school student, though – I was one of the “smart kids,” doomed to life as a back-up prom date and a wallflower amidst the jocks and the preps. Perhaps as a result, I was yet another clicheic angsty teenager. I played the part well, too – hung out with the other smart outsider kids, listened to my angry angsty metal music (which my dad lovingly called “bowling ball in the dryer music”) – I wanted to shake up their preconceived ideas about me, and perhaps I tried a bit too hard. And then, one day, something wonderful happened.One of my older friends (a senior! woo!) gave me a tape that he had made for me. He told me it was really great stuff – that it would change everything. I, in my infinite wisdom, told him “yeah sure whatever” and put it in my bag. I did not listen to it on the way home from school that day. Nor did I listen to it at my house. In fact, it sat at the bottom of my bag for some days, until it happened to flop onto my bed while I was retrieving a book to do my homework. It occurred to me, then, that I could listen to this tape whilst doing my homework, and I grabbed my notebook and popped the cassette into my boombox. (Yes, we still had those. It scares me to admit it.)I don’t really remember what I felt upon hearing the opening chords of the first song on the tape. I don’t really even remember my reaction to hearing the first song – I think I had drowned it out, in my focus on studies. And then, a funny thing happened. I heard the opening chords to a song called Paranoid Android. I dropped my pen. I was transfixed. I remember hearing this strange falsetto voice telling me “Please could you stop the noise? I’m trying to get some rest from all the unborn chicken voices in my head” and I couldn’t breathe. By the time I got to Let Down, I was in awe. By the time I heard No Surprises, I was changed, somehow. By the time The Tourist finished, I knew that something had begun – something big, and lifelong.I’m not sure if I completed my assignments that night. But I am sure that I fell in love. It was as though something had clicked into place in my mind, and somehow I realised something with which I had been struggling for years: there were other people who felt just as broken as me. More than that, I learnt that it was ok to be broken. It was, in fact, beautiful, as done by Thom Yorke, Jonny Greenwood, and the lads of Radiohead.Fast forward 10 years, and go to Tokyo, Japan, in October 2007. I was a girl isolated in an unfamiliar country, having gone there on my own, to teach English. For as much as I loved my new country, I missed many things – I missed the people I love, the familiar places and smells and sounds of a country I’d always known. I missed that sense of belonging. And then I saw the news on Radiohead’s website on that October afternoon: “Hello everyone. Well, the new album is finished, and it’s coming out in 10 days; We’ve called it In Rainbows. Love from us all. Jonny.” I remember the feeling that I had then – the wave of nostalgia that swept over me when I realised that, no matter what, just when I needed them, Radiohead had always been there for me, like a soft warm blanket and a cuppa on a foggy morning. I decided then and there that, no matter what, I would finally get a chance to see them live this tour, no matter what. I stayed up all night on that fateful night in April to get a chance at my tickets (and got a couple of them). I scoured the internet to get better seats, so I could be as close as I could to these brilliant musicians. I was certain it would all be worth it. I was not disappointed.Sunday, 24 August 2008, I saw my first Radiohead show at the Hollywood Bowl. It was everything I could have expected it to be, and more. First, it was wonderful because I went with my dear friend, Sara, who, since I moved to LA, has been one of the small family I’ve been lucky enough to build for myself. Also, it was awesome when they played Lucky, which I then dedicated to Sara, for obvious reasons!! Second, it was wonderful because I had been waiting for months and months, watching every setlist of the tour, anticipating what songs we might get, hoping for my myriad favourites. Again, I was not disappointed. In spite of our nosebleed seats, that night in August, I realised a dream I’d had for more than 10 years: I was there, seeing Radiohead. They were playing a set for me (and 10,000 other people!). I was there, and I was not disappointed. Here is our setlist:15 StepThere ThereMorning BellAll I NeedPyramid SongNudeWeird Fishes/ArpeggiThe GloamingThe National AnthemA Wolf At The DoorFaust ARPExit Music (for a film)Jigsaw Falling Into PlaceIdiotequeClimbing Up the WallsBodysnatchersHow to Disappear Completely----VideotapeParanoid AndroidDollars & CentsStreet Spirit (Fade Out)Reckoner----House of CardsLuckyEverything In Its Right PlaceFor a first setlist, this one was perfect – all the big classics, a few old favourites, several surprises, and a whole lot of brilliance – even from the nosebleed seats. Since I could sit here and gush about every single song, I’ll just pick my top 7 highlights (so you don’t all die of boredom):7. Wolf at the Door – the lyrics are so fun to sing along with, and something about 10,000 people singing “FLAN IN THE FACE FLAN IN THE FACE” was ridiculously fun6. Climbing Up the Walls – this song has always been the darkest Radiohead song in my opinion, and it’s even creepier and more haunting live – and Coz gets to shine with his insane bass, which literally shakes the seats -- even in the nosebleeds5. Exit Music – I love Radiohead when they are atmospheric, and nothing is more atmospheric than starting with just Thom on an acoustic guitar and building into Coz’ fuzzy bass and Ed and Jonny’s distorted riffs. Simply breathtaking.4. Reckoner – this is the crux of In Rainbows, and possibly one of my new favourite songs – and it sounds remarkable live. Thom’s improvisation on the “ooos” at the end was loooovely.3. Street Spirit – this is my second favourite Radiohead song, and I think the fact that Thom stopped in the middle and said “Oh fuck! Bollocks! …that’s English, for you who don’t know” only endeared it further… and they finished the song perfectly. Jonny played brilliantly, and Ed's backup vox were lovely -- really, really lovely. Thom sounded, as on all the songs they performed, absolutely flawless. He is truly amazing.2. Paranoid Android – the first time I saw the first Radiohead song I fell in love with, and it was sheer brilliance. Jonny couldn’t have been better, and they rocked the place to bits.1. How to Disappear Completely – this has been my favourite Radiohead song for 8 years now, and it is even more haunting, stripped, and vulnerable live. Thom’s voice was flawless, Jonny’s ondes martenot was spot on and brilliant, and Ed provided the atmosphere.All in all, I could not have asked for a more amazing first Radiohead concert. Their musicianship is amazing -- they sound even better live than they do on their records, and that is very very difficult to do, especially on tour, night after night. The truth of the matter is that they are simply that good. It was well worth the 11 year wait, and I didn’t believe that the band could top this setlist for Night 2.I was wrong.
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Они таки приехали

Правда, во сне. Итак, в ночь с 20 на 21 августа мне приснились аж целых два концерта РХ. Два концерта - это громко сказано. Сон начался сразу с завершения второго концерта. Стояли мы далековато от сцены, к тому же как-то уж совсем в правом торце. И музыканты уже уходили, т.е. практически ничего не видели.Зато на следующий день пришли раненько и всё пытались выбрать место, куда встать. Зальчик страшно неудобный (если местые фэны заинтересуются, то я могу объяснить, где это все происходило:))Встанем в одно место - не видно будет Джонни и Фила. Встанем в другое - не увидим О'Брайена. Прямо перед сценой - получается почему-то очень близко и надо задирать голову. Да ещё колонны какие-то на сцене.Дождались приезда группы. Как-то кучненько прошли мимо нас за сцену и запомнился только Йорк. В жизни, т.е. во сне, совершенно невзрачный, надо сказать. Но улыбался.Начали ждать начала концерта, а он, вестимо, задерживался. Сказали, что они устали (вроде ещё где-то выступить успели, не иначе, как перед местными нефтяными боссами на частной вечеринке). Про себя думала: "Вот сон же уже заканчивается, а они всё не выходят. Так и не посмотрим".Так и не посмотрели...
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Was just watching some videos posted by Bobby / Kitsune Noir of the Hollywood Bowl.I started to feel really bad towards the end, with the video screen of Thom + Jonny.My whole final year piece at Uni was on live video effects.The reason I felt bad was because I was at the BBC secret gig thing in the spring of this year and found Nigel Godrich at the back of the room at the end.... We were talking about Quartz Composer and all sorts, but stupid me... I felt like I should've asked for a job or left him some details or something!Now I am graduated, unemployed and would kill for somewhere to use my real talents of live video manipulation! C'mon Radiohead!(incase you're reading)I will work for peanuts and the chance to be anywhere near a big screen!
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[ Draft ]

well well well dont we all fear permanence. my glasses broke and i feel naked without protectection from eyes. and eye movements. they dont hassle someone whos eyes they cant see, as they dont stick their hands in dark places or swim in water they cant see the bottom to watch out for holes.i really hate silver jews.
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REM Cardiff Internatonal Arena

REM were right on form with an impressive set which included Pilgrimage (first time played in Europe), Leper, Exhuming McCarthy, Kenneth, Heron House, Living Well, Supernatural, Hollow Man, Country Feedback, DJ, Religion, End Of The World and Man On The Moon.(Full set list below). Venue change from the Millennium Stadium to the more intimate Cardiff International Arena meant a more intimate gig. The atmosphere was warm and friendly, though we were all possibly a bit too hot. REM seemed relaxed and happy, Michael Stipe communicated with the audience with warmth and humour - a perfect night of good solid rockin' music.SET LISTLiving Well Is the Best RevengeThese DaysWhat's The Frequency KennethExhuming McCarthyDriveMan Size WreathHarborcoatIgnorelandBad DayPilgrimageHollow ManElecroliteNew Test LeperI'm Gonna DJThe Great BeyondThe One I LoveSweetness FollowsLet Me InHorse To WaterOrange CrushImitation Of LifeENCORESupernatural SuperseriousLosing My ReligonCountry FeedbackDisturbance At The Heron HouseEnd Of The WorldMan On The Moon
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What you SAY

What You SayTruth has little need of elaborate explanation. The fewer words you can use, the more meaning they have.Speak what you know to be true. And there will be no need to hide your thoughts behind your words.Words have little meaning if there is no conviction to support them. When your words come directly from who you most sincerely are, they carry with them great power.Do not make the mistake of attempting to deceive others with what you say. For once your words are found to be insincere, you will have great difficulty being taken seriously again.Words are easy to say. Yet for those words to have any meaning or power, they must closely match the reality of your actions and your being.Speak clearly, truthfully, with respect and humility. From the truth of who you are, comes the best of what you say.-- Ralph Marston
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Rawr...

now i'm back in the single life, things will change1) I'll probably be a happier chappy2) I don't have to worry like a mother standing over her comatosed son when i got to University about what i should/shouldn't do (i wouldn't...but the temptation..y'know)3) I'll probably get wasted a lot more often4) I'll be myself around everyone5) I'll be more honest6) I'll have more time to do things that i want to do rather than be (it seemed like it with her...) obliged to do stuff7) I can actually talk to girls and not be made to feel bad
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