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DEAD nite

"The Dead Night"There I sit in the quiet darkness of it all wondering how it came to this; hearing the tiny chirps of the crickets outside the window seal and the soft midnight breeze brush against the leaves. Nothing is left but the calmness of the night; the dead calm of it all. The night sky sitting above watching, with thousands of eyes, the things we do to satisfy that moment of urge. There I sit in silent darkness with my witness above and my eyes below; there I sit to wonder how it came to this. I sit with my head hung low inside my chair whose squeaks are the only other noise to slice the dead silence of this night. I rock my chair this night like never before and for the first time, I can hear the silence of black, the calmness of night; I can feel the cold chill of darkness. Drip dripping the cold blood on my hands; trickling to the floor staining a deep red. Drip dripping the cold blood not of my own. Drip dripping this silence of night off my hands. I stare with my head hung low by the window seal at the dead calm of it all. I sit in darkness wondering how it came to this but realize the silence of my answer. Nothing is left but the calmness of this night.
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cage match

i've found warmth in a special someones liver. when they die, they will split her liver in half and the thousand faces of my children will shine up at them.life suddenly seems to move quickly. i've lost contact with the surface, im completely imbedded. i dont see the sun set. it might as well have never risen.
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Jigsaw Falling Into Place

En el mismo momento que tomas mi manoen el mismo momento que anotas mi númeroen el mismo momento en el que las bebidas lleganen el mismo momento que pasan tu tema favoritoJusto cuando tu mal dia mejoraya no te reprimes como un resorteantes de que te hartesvuelve aquí y reaccionaLas paredes están doblándosetienes una gran sonrisatodo se entremezcla en una sola cosaeste lugar tiene un objetivo de serantes de los que viven de nocheantes de los ruidos de la nochecámaras de circuito cerradoantes de que entres en comaAntes de que huyas de míantes de que te pierdas entre las notasel ritmo vá a todas partesel ritmo vá a todas partesNunca realmente llegué a estar allísolo dije que lo había hecholas palabras son instrumentos poco amigableslas palabras son una escopeta mortalVen y dejalo salir,Ven y dejalo salir,Ven y dejalo salir,Ven y dejalo salir,Antes de que huyas de miantes de que te pierdas entre las notasen el mismo momento en el que tomas el micrófonoen el mismo momento en el que bailas, bailas, bailasEl rompecabezas se resuelveya no queda nada que explicarmutuamente se ven al pasar,ella mira atrás, tu miras atrásno solo una vez,no solo dos vecesDesea que tu pesadilla acabedesea que la pesadilla acabetienes la luz, y la puedes sentir en tus espaldasla luz que puedes sentir en tus espaldasel rompecabezas se resuelve
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Crap-Tastic Shit

You know what I hate, when you've discovered a band, comedic group, movie a long while ago before anyone knew what it was and you try to inform people about it so they too can like it. But no one listens and just brush it off and then later those same people start discovering it later and become just as much in love with it as you were. I hate that I can't tell them that I tried to inform them of that same shit ages ago and they are only now discovering it without seeming arrogant or as seeking attention for my self worth. Fuck that. I discovered that shit because I like to stay up to date about shit that doesn't suck so you can go back at liking your stupid ass manufactured shit and shove it down your throat. Go eat your shitty flakes for breakfast with a tall glass of superficial crap. Mmmmm. Enjoy that crap-tastic garbage funneled into your brain through mainstream radio, stupid network channels, and shitty quick cash in movies. All that mainstream shit is so shallow, its almost like mainstream media is treating us like idiots. You've been warned, if you dont want to listen then fuck you. Peace.
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Cool Breezes and Butterflies

Thoughts of tall grassy fields full of sunflowersWarm sun dancing through the swiftly moving cloudsWildflowers sprinkled across the meadow like confettiButterflies scatter as you passFilling the surroundings with movement and beautyThe tickling wings flutter by and a smile emergesIt cannot be suppressed, like that of a child
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Just an Idea

Okay, so I was listening to Erasure today while trying to clean my house. I say "trying" because with a house full of kids, three cats, and a husband who is like a tornado, the house just never seems clean, but I digress. As i was dancing around like an idiot singing at the top of my lungs to "A Little Respect", it occurred to me that this would be an interesting cover choice for RH. After all it comes complete with falsetto and everything. How fun would that be?Any thoughts? Do share.
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People are shite in general

I'm probably bristling with PMS and vodka right now but FUCK I AM ANGRY. Why are people (and people that call themselves your friends in particular) unable to do anything without considering their own advantage first? Like taking something for themselves of which they KNEW their friend wanted really badly? I keep thinking that putting work and time into someone's well-being is in some or other way perhaps worth something. Well, I stand corrected. Why do I keep falling into that trap? fuck you. fuck you.
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The House in the Woods

Tattered and torn the curtains sway in the windThe old boards moan and creak, cobwebs with forgotten mealsImages of times long past, with fresh paint and lovingly cared forHow beautiful it was, way back whenNow, it's pain so evident that it saddens onlookersThe potential for greatness still lingers in the woodIn the cracked and broken windows of the old abandoned house, I see myself reflected
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No More Excuses

Tethered by currents of electricityConnected yet somehow unawareBlind to the the evidence of symbiosisSeparate yet equal, repeats in thoughtPulled along by invisible linesGuided by unseen boundariesSubconsciously awareNever really knowing what's going onLike minds gatherYet, no one speaksSilent wails of the awkwardFight hard against wanting to fleeEmpty eyes burn holesTurning the helpless to stoneFreezing the mind with self consciousnessNothing happened to cause the changePower to the people?Empower yourselfTake the reignsHead toward the sunset
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Turn OFF YOUR CELL PHONES!...Gosh

You know what annoys me, people that text during movies at theatres. Actually, people that text anywhere while doing something else is pretty annoying. But what really dug under my skin was some douchebag at the theatre texting over and over again with his stupid ass screen glowing, distracting my eyesight as I try to watch the movie. He puts his hand to the side of it like that covers the light emitted backward. He definitely doesnt understand the science of light, it shines! And its not like he did it once which would have been ok, no he was having a fucking whole conversation with someone with text messages. First of all, why would you pay 8 to 10 bucks to go see a movie that you arent even gonna watch. Instead you would just be staring at a 2x2 inch screen instead of a massive theatre screen for the movie you paid to watch. Those messages couldnt have been that important because he didnt rush out in a hurry, didnt stand up shocked, didnt leave the theatre at all. Nope, this idiot just stayed there the whole time texting distracting my eyeball in its peripheral as I wrestled to watch the movie and ignore this imbeciles little glowing screen of annoyance. After the movie, I walked up to the guy and told him "maybe you might wanna watch the movie next time instead of your cell phone."People do that a lot in everything actually. People rather send their text messages while having a completely different conversation with a person standing right in front of them and they would do this instead of just calling a person. They would rather just text a convoluted misspelled mess to some person and wait for the other person to respond instead of using actual sentences and pronunciation skills to talk to a person. This is trickling down to kids too and soon this same text message generation are going to grow up misspelling words and preferring to text each other rather than talk to a person. They wont even be able to write correct grammar sentences or papers. They wont know how to process certain information. So turn off your phones!
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a horned reptile that is crawled upon the earth

Remember how a few years ago all American bands touring Europe always took a minute or two to apologize for George W. Bush and stressing that they in no way identify with his politics?

I very much feel like doing that about good old all german Uncle Joseph with all my international friends and acquaintances.

What the hell is he up to? And while I'm at it, what oh what has ridden Vatican to make him Pope in the first place? How can he promote someone bishop who claims that Katrina and the tsunami catastrophe were divine punishments? How dare he, a German, welcome someone back into the church who is denying the Holocaust? We are still struggling for other nation's acceptance, this maniac is giving us a bad name all over again. Shame on him.Funny thing is, I am neither religious nor patriotic. I was raised with the (back then general) opinion that the German flag was something slightly embarrassing and all this new patriotism scares the shit out of me. I would also like to do nothing more than abandon the catholic church this instant (I am not even religious), if it weren't for the job. A lot of hospitals and nursing homes are run by protestant or catholic institutions and you have to be a member of either one of the major churches to work there. And no matter what that madman up there is breeding out, these hospitals do try to keep their feet on the ground.

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Please Don't Make Me Hurt You

The look in your eyes has changedA slow, steady metamorphosisYour gaze lingers where it should never beYour smile tries to cover nervous eyesEyes that betray the truthA truth that dare not be revealedYet, remains barely hiddenBeneath the guise of friendshipNeither place nor time could change what isNo desire to strayNo desire for causing undue painOnce calm and easyNow unsettling, nerve wrackingDon't say the wordsLet the friendship remain, as all will passDon't do it, begs a silent screaming mindAs in slow motion, it beginsThe heart sinks as time seems to freezeInterrupted by circumstancesSighs of relief, and sighs of disappointmentOpposite sides of stressAwkwardness and the inevitableHave been avoided thus farShould it be ignoredOr should the wounds be salted by honesty
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Useless

Claustrophobic tendencies in fields of fresh airThe mind closes inThoughts swirl like tornadoesKicking up remnants of past mistakesNeeding to forgetForgiveness is irrelevantBits and pieces of wrongs lingerHiding in corners and underneath happy thoughtsConsumed with the crises of othersNo time to dwell on what was, or what is, or whyLonging for a lazy afternoonKnowing that, alone, shadows can overtake the sunWaking moments spent fighting to remain in the lightSleepless nightmares color the daysSweetness and light, sweetness and lightThe few who know can tellClueless remain as suchEvery day is a trialYet, it is a fight unseen, unheard, and unheraldedSneaking up like ghosts often doShivering chills and uneasy feelingsThoughts constrict ability
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through the hill

awake late.
red carnations on the tabletop.

the long carpet stretched out.

in windows silky black
half selves and whispers.

taxi cabs and streetlamps;
seething strains from the nightclubs,
a hundred faces
in the pavement.

and your face -
where, then, is it?
is it there, with the sandwiches?

or, in african violets burgeoning,
lion faces gazing
crimson faces, blue -

is it there?

here are the walls,
the windows,
the door.

and beyond -
a path winds down the slope
rat trees and scrabble,
and dead snails
and choking vines -

through the hill
where there will always
be more blackberries;

finger stabs
and stained fruit
and the end of me.

come with me.

Bring them back; we'll fill a glass bowl

and let them refract away -
in the red and silver;
my blood,
your forgetfulness.

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welcome

I am samI study sonic arts among other thingsi feel right now we are stuck in a decaying rut of music waiting,I feel a new phase forming, though i feel that it is rather late
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siren

trembling
in a fire
cliffs running down like black water,

flying
on a wire
stones on the shore, foot-cutting;

hiding
in clear pools
sea-monsters wandering, shrimp-small,

burning
in ripples,
while ulysses eats my heart on the sand.

hearing you is not living.
it is dissolving

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