I'd like to recommend a book I just bought yesterday (I've read about half so far) called The Music Lesson: A Spiritual Search for Growth Through Music by Victor L. Wooten. It's answered a lot of the questions I had about how music 'works' and why it's the most powerful form of art. I think it's brilliantly written... in a way that's not condescending or off-putting at all, and most of all--even though it's a book for musicians--I understand the musical terms in a way I was never able to before. I kind of found this book by accident. I am also reading Music, the Brain, and Ecstasy: How Music Captures Our Imagination by Robert Jourdain. I have no doubt that it's a great book as well (my brother who's an avid reader and a musician recommended it to me), but after the first chapters I got completely lost, not knowing anything about music theory. Wooten's book--instead--is extremely easy to understand although it probably goes more into depth into that subject.One of the best things about taking the bus to work is that I've almost been forced to read again. I couldn't do this for the past four years or so.... maybe longer. I got bored of looking at the same streetscapes after the first week so I decided to finally start reading Thomas Mann after trying for who knows how long. I managed to finish a book of his short stories. I love his style and subject matter, by the way, and I've also finished reading a self-help book someone urged me to read. I did... even though I hate that type of book... and it was okay. I definitely wouldn't have bought it and wouldn't read it again but I decided to take the best out of it and put it into practice.I've been suffering from depression most of my life and it's been worse these past few years, so I'll try anything at least once if there's any hope I'll ever come out of this. Even music doesn't work its magic on me anymore... not as much as it did before. The book I'm reading will hopefully work its magic on me. Over the past few days I've learned a lot about myself and about the decisions I've made over the past few years. It's been 'enlightening'. I had almost convinced myself I'd never understand. I'm starting to now and I'm experiencing more beautiful moments as a result.
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So anyone who knows me knows that I am basically Atheist, but unlike many christians i've met seem to believe, that doesn't mean that I have no beliefs. I have a personal philosophy; it is a working process that evolves from day to day, but generally I know what I believe. I continue to study other belief systems however in an attempt to a) give a more strict definition to my beliefs, and b) if I find a system that seems compatible, use to help guide my own philosophical/spiritual development. Spirituality is not necissarily theistic - I believe it can exist without a great supreme being lording over us with a host of angels however.Anyways, for a while actually I've looked into buddism, and lately I've become very strongly interested in it. It has also led to me explore similar religions. I recently started looking at the more panthestic/monistic form of the wiccan religions (so no, I am not the teen goth looking to ride broomsticks and cast love spells :P ), which acutally has many basic ideas similar to buddhism - with perhaps more focus on the spirituality of nature. The pantheistic interpretation, as I understand thus far, may still refer to a "god & goddess", but they are used more as symbols of earth - in essense, the Earth itself (nature, life, energy, etc) is a "god", if you will. This god & goddess, therefore, are creators insomuch as everything comes from the earth; but not in the sense of these outside dieties looking down and manipulating our world.And now that I've rambled on; my point is that I've decided to undertake a serious study of these two religions/philosophies (depends on how you define each, I suppose). Perhaps I'll settle against both once and for all, or perhaps I'll gain a specific definition of the belief system I hold now. I guess I'll find out.
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