Been wondering whether to post this horrible episode from Glastonbury, but a few people said that I should, so here goes.
On Friday, I managed to get to the front row of the Pyramid stage for Radiohead and was having a great time, apart from the two very irritating gucci little piggies that were next to me, talking like detuned radios through The XX. One of them had made the front row just to my right, and decided her friend should also be there with her. So much so that she got offended when I declined their request for me to swap places.
Anyway, after the last song had played and the band had walked off set, two security guards came and stood facing me across the barrier asked me to hold my arms out, then proceeded to lift me out of the crowd and take me away. I didn't have a clue what was happening and they said they couldn't tell me - for a split second I thought "maybe the band thought I was amazing and want to meet me 
" (I hadn't been drinking), but then I saw two policemen there at the end of the barriers.
Apparently, the irritating women next to me had told the police that I looked Turkish, I'd said I was Taliban, and they thought that I was carrying a knife. Now at this point I have to point out that both the Avon and Somerset police, and the security team, were all cool, very friendly, very communicative, but still very professional. They didn't think there was anything in the claim but they have to follow up on every report, which is of course entirely understandable.
I tried to engage with the people as little as possible because they were so obnoxious (where possible I'll take the quiet life). And there was actually a really cool person to my left that was a bass player in a band and so I was mostly trying to talk to her (in spite of the fog horn in my right ear). I suppose in the few words that I said to the idiots, they *may* *possibly* have misunderstood "We're all big Radiohead fans here" with "I'm Taliban" (maybe they're a bit deaf?) And the one next to me *perhaps* *genuinely* had thought my bank card was a knife.
Personally, I believe the truth is that these people said this stuff about me in an attempt to get the friend on the front row at my expense, and that's very fucked up. I had a joke about it with the police and security, but once I'd been processed and left them I started feeling like a weirdo, wondering what the hell am I doing here. I spent most of that night and Saturday thinking about getting my stuff and pissing off home.
Luckily my friends knew what to do - mercilessly ripping the piss out of me - and I was back on my A game by the time the Foos rocked up on stage on Saturday night. But what happened isn't right, in fact it is fucking dangerous in the current climate, and so I genuinely think these people should be held accountable for their actions. I fully expect them to deny it, these people have no sense of responsibility for their actions; but they should be told they fucked up big time, at the very least.
All I really know about her is that they are from Essex, were staying in offsite expensive camping and probably had hospitality tickets for the festival. By sheer chance, a friend sent me a pic from the BBC 2 output and you can see the one standing next to me, but I can't face watching the footage to find a better picture or her or her friend.
I'm not the best at this social media thing, but please share this shit out and let's see if I can get some form of redress - just to tell her "This is what you get, when you mess with us".
Love to all the real fans that made being in the crowd a joy,
Nin
