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Amnesiac

(Inspired by the album of the same name by Radiohead.)-In the light morning fog of mid-spring, the downtown area wakes up and the sun rises lazily. The first signs of movement dot the streets with each pedestrian standing out distinctly.Up above hazy figures can be seen stirring in the few open windows.I drift without thoughts or emotions, just sense impressions.I observe as if in reverie.The fog that’s disappearing outside seems to be seeping into me.-For a long time - I’m not sure if for days or for months - I haven’t really recorded any impressions.I don’t think, therefore I don’t exist. I’ve forgotten who I am. Through some oblique sleep, I’ve become someone else. To realize I don’t remember myself means that I’ve woken up.I return to myself without remembering what I’ve been, and the memory of what I used to be suffers after being cut off from my life. I have cloudy impressions of a mysterious interlude; part of my memory is trying to find the other part in vain. I can’t pull myself together. If I’ve lived during this time, I forgot to be aware of it.Somewhere within this interlude of lost things there is a pale trace of useless memories. Abstract imagery and symbols. Colors.No. It’s more painful than that.It’s an intense melancholy of trying to remember what can not be recalled. An anguish over what my consciousness has lost among the seaweed and debris along the shores of who knows where.-(Anonymous caress of slumber.)Church bells strike what I know must be eight o’clock. The noise of the day rises with the bells. I awaken from myself because of the banality of measured time, a border to contain the abstract, a boundary around the unknown. I notice the fog which has entirely quit the air has indeed penetrated the depths of my soul. I’ve lost the vision of what I was seeing. I’ve begun to perceive things with the banality of knowledge.The cold light of the morning now glimmering like an apocalyptic torment.What I see is no longer reality. Just life. An image in the absolute.I turn and walk slowly, though faster than I think, to the door that will lead me back up to the hotel. Advancing slowly, lifelessly, and my vision is no longer mine. Memory no longer anything but a nothingness that breathes. A deep forgetting that massages the tissues of my soul.
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PEQUEÑA MUSA DE MIS DIAS

pequeña musa de mis díasIpequeña musa de mis díasque me haces oscilar entre un punto y volumen de momentos eternos,entre la atraccion que despiertas fruto del pasado y de un futuro incierto,traspasas mi luz para anidarte en las sombras,retengo tus imagenes caminando de tu mano para calmar las inquietudes,entre pasos, sollozos y roces te mueves en silencio,mientras colgando de una cruz ahogo deseos y pasiones,desapareciendo, desapareciendo, sentado con menos razón..............IIespacios libres para provocar efectos diferentes,espacios para dar muerte a los segundos infamesque no se detienen,caminantes que hacen que surga otra vidabotando rejas,provocando catástrofes contorsionales a viva voz,navegando por campos de hipos para la reina amigdala,buscando raíces de la experiencia humana,y aqui estamos en prolongaciones de las formasdefinidas y transparentes que no utilizamos,conexiones energéticas inconclusas sin vociferar frente a frente,(capacidad curativa intensificada y activaque va mas allá de un verte o no verte).IIIel reino vive en una gota de agua y en sólo un centímetro de diámetro...y mientras, te paseas en un punto equidistante entre mi cerebro y tu almaquizás sin tu saberlo.las estrellas brillan hasta consumir su combustible...y tus ojos hacen inagotable mis palabras para ensalzarte.la fuerza de gravedad edificó el cosmos hace dos milmillones de años...solamente para validar nuestros encuentros.a quince mil millones de años luz esta lo últimoque se conoce del universo...mientras tu y yo estamos a un paso, a un click o a un llamado.cuanto más se avanza en el espacio,más se retrocede en el tiempo.........necesito verte.IVcuesta observar y aprender....pues nuestra mente, desde que nacemos, es moldeadapor una cultura ignorante y determinada dentro de los estrechos espacios del yo....cuesta un poco menos revertir todo lo adquirido en forma insconciente...pues por los siglos de los siglos estamos condicionados por clases sociales,educación, leguaje, religión... todas las influencias que podamos pensar...salgo de mi pasado a tu encuentro, solo basta escuchar tu hermosa voz,no pensaré, seré irrazonable, dejaré pasar lo errores, de todos modos no valen la pena.no ensayo, camino en círculos si lo deseo...te atraparé y te dejaré, aprenderemos a descubrirnos, nos despojaremos de nuestras ropas para mirarnos eternamente, sentiremos como habla el frío,sellaré la puerta y mis labios recorrerán los tuyospara poco a poco dejarlos caer.
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tu nombre va en cada palabra,

tu nombre va en cada palabra,la soledad sirve para escarbar, para mirarse,para no sentirse el peor, para volver a sentir,pues la vida es plana y gris...para buscar desesperadamente e introducirseen los caminos,donde somos semejantes para acompañarnosmás allá de nuestros dolores ,altavoces martillantes.la cobardía te hace valiente, asumes limitaciones.desesperantes y emocionantes momentoses sentir como un estar permanentementepegado al techo.............sensaciones inacabadas,son las que repaso al nombrarte,tierna imagen lascerante,mis ojos entre los tuyos,deseos culpables que me recorrenescondidos como un truenonadie llevó esa voluntad,un sistema nervioso solo hizo contactohasta tus límites,sumido entre el descontrol y el desborde,entre el amor que despiertasy la aniquilacion aberrante de mis díaspor el deseo violento y mortal...tu nombre va en cada una de mis palabras,estremecedoramente me recorre,preñada de orgasmo y de muerte.....--------------------
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NARRACION DE SENSACIONES

miércoles 20 de mayo de 2009NARRACION DE SENSACIONESY el hedor a sangre humana me sonríe alegrando mi corazón... (ESQUILO)no quiero estos estados intermedios,o se es joven o se es viejo,no quiero seguir este rebaño,quiero volar sin alas sobre naves sin popa ni estriborquiero sentir el miedo pero no ser un cobarde,no quiero sentirme en este estado madurode tantas cavilaciones,quiero sentir la gravidez y la embriaguez,quiero sentirme como hércules levantandolela piel al mar y tu mi venus inconclusa despertando mi amor,quiero tus ojos hermosos de niña y tu piel desnuda junto a la mía,quiero tu color y tu brillo como la mejorde mis pinturas,quiero mis yemas recorriendo cada escondite de tu cuerpo,quiero tu figura traspasando la mía como fantasmagórica,quiero validar mis sentimientos,y no amar en silencio,el tiempo esta vomitando lo ocurridonunca te has separado de mi mente.......
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WANT!

http://www.prairiemod.com/prairiemod/2009/05/frank-lloyd-wright-lego-sets.html
Falling Water Lego, how awesome is that? I wonder how much it will be. Hopefully they'll make it available in my country, otherwise shipping costs will probably go through the roof.
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Live Music

I saw two bands tonightSecret Sons - From Oklahoma Cityfirst band, they played well. They had 4 members, pretty standard, Guitar/Guitar/Bass/Drums.The lead singer also had a KORG synth pad which he used on a few songs, as well as played guitar, the other guitarist had a mini keyboard and created backing melodies and cool spacey sounds "like on Subterranean Homesick Alien" as well as rhythm guitar. The drummign was preatty good also. I think they have good potential, I had a drink with the bassist's girl firend. She wants a pet ferret like I do. Pretty coolRed Cortez - From Californiasecond band. They put on a great show. They had four members also Guitar(piano)/Guitar/Bass(piano)/Drums. More of a spanish sound, but still created good harmonies and well constructed songs. The lead singer was really energetic despite having a small crowd. I caught a pick that he threw into the audience [of like 25 people, it landed on the concrete infront of me...haha] At one point the lead guitarist jumped into the crowd area and played a solo. They had 2 encores and platyed 25 mintes longer than supposed to. The brought people up on stage and it was really fun.I was 4 beers in. Good day.I got taco bell afterwords with my friend Joey who went to the concert with me, he doesn't go to concerts often, I am letting him meet the real world coming out of his shell.Then we played tennis
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just in case

you didn't know, my job still blows. And it really is all about being in the right place at the right time. I can't wait until I can stop working....cause I don't live to work, but work so i'm not fucking hungry all the time.
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Crush

Went to see Bat For Lashes tonight.
Witnessed a beautiful show.
Managed to obtain the sweetest smile from her side-kick multi-instrumentalist.
Cycled home with my head spinning.
Forgot entirely that I had moved 2 weeks earlier.
Cycled to my old home.

sheesh...
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Appreciation

Nothing like a house full of aliens to make you appreciate your own. Too much stress for nothing that matters. Ran ragged for what? Limits pushed and patience tested. Yet midnight giggles and belly laughs wash it all away. At that moment, it is all worth it. In that instant is found pure joy, and happiness is shown in the singing and dancing of the quiet and shy. These are the moments that are filed away in heart and mind to be called upon on the days when sanity is wasted on the vacant stares of the incessantly bored and testy. It's nice when you're given a glimpse of perfection just when you are beginning to wonder how you found yourself so far from where you thought you would be.
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And so it Begins

Time spent alone doesn't make one lonelyYet loneliness weighs quite heavilyThe thoughts take hold and block the sunCloudy days inhibit all that comes to passLingering thoughts flash like lightningThunder crashes in the mindFocus is lost and suffocation beginsWas that a "tone" in the voice on the phone?Yet to miss a love is normal"Out of sight, out of mind"Only works on the one who is away from homeFor those left behind surrounded by belongingsEncompassed in memories,The moments drone on indefinitelyOnly to pass too quickly upon loves return
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Doves

Saw Doves live for the first time last week in Bristol. What an experience! We got there early 'cause we weren't sure what time they would be on and so got a great view. They played most of Kingdom of Rust and a good sprinkling of old stuff to a packed Academy audience who behaved perfectly - in that I didn't have anyone next to me who thought they could sing better and so louder than the band.They really delivered a great set and at the end of the tour it was still fresh and vibrant. Their brand of intense anguished lyrics and melodies manage to be at the same time uplifting somehow. This latest album was well worth waiting for.
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A love statement

I remember the first time that i looked at youAt your huge blue eyes; when i did that...god! i swear that i lost my mind for you.I knew that i was wrong, that falling in love with you will bring me problemsBecause we're so different....you like the silence, i like the noiseYou're shy, i love to talkI like to dance, you hate dancingI like to runway, you like to stay in the same place for agesI have an obssesion for high fashion and you...well...you just wear the first clothes that appear in your bedi remembered that rainy afternoon, when Lily leaved us alone....I remembered that i was so scared because for first time i was looking at you as an atracttive young guy....But you looked at me....with those eyes...The next day where we were, honey? where we were?I was there, next to your warm body....hugging you. I felt that you were the man of my lifeI felt that i wanted to have kids with you, to share my life with you, honeyThe next week we were at the park, do you remember? España ParkLily, Erick and Edgar were there...but we were so concentrate in ourselves, that we didn't care about the restThey left, as everyone did; but we stayed...we went to the fountain and you took pictures of me.The clouds covered the sunny sky....that's when we realized that it was lateYou took my hand and kissed itWe were laughing and you had your i-pod, Dylan we chooseThe rain started, we didn't careWhen we arrived to the hotel our families were so worriedBut i had to leave. And for first time i met your tearsBut what happened?Where is that love that you promised me?You lost me, honeyAnd you know itBecause you're so intelligentAnd no....don't ask what happened with me?Please answer me: what happened that afternoon? that afternoon when you took me to that restaurant, i was so excited to see you after 9 monthsI thought that our love won't dessapearBut you didn't look at me, you (your body) was in front of me; but your mind was in another placeAnd for me the most important thing is your mindI left, crying and hoping to fall in love with somebody else. And i thought that i did, but i didn'tSo this is a love statement to tell you how much i love and fear youHow much i desire you and how much i need to forget youHope that this works...
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Vanitas

I try to walkBut suddenly,i´m left alone.Hundreds of puddles surround me,haunt me and lead meinto my inevitable destiny:Vanita VanitasMemento Mori.

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Reminder

Haunted:"Here... nothing would ever happen again, and the people of the pueblos were already the ghosts of themselves"."Money, sex, drugs. What else is there these days? Outside Estrella de Mar no one gives a damn about the arts. The only real philosophers left are the police.""Take a lover, fuck all the best sex out of him, then throw him out.""... the arts and criminality have always flourished side by side.""... remember, white is the colour of silence.""This is Goldfinger´s defensible space raised to an almost planetary intensity - security guards, tele-surveillance, no entrance except through the main gates, the whole complex closed to outsiders. It´s a grim thought, but you´re looking at the future.""- Shielding my eyes from the sunlight, I gazed into one of the darkened lounges. A three-dimensional replica of a painting by Edward Hopper was visible below the awning. The residents, two middle-aged men and a woman in her thirties, sat in the silent room, their faces lit by the trembling glow of a television screen. No expression touched their eyes, as if the dim shadows on the hessian walls around them had long become a satisfactory substitute for thought.- They´re watching TV with the sound turned down...They´re like a race from some dark planet who find the light here too strong to bear.They´re refugees from time.- It´s the fourth world, Charles. The one waiting to take over everything.""...there´s excellent security and not a trace of graffiti anywhere - most people´s idea of paradise today."
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I can't help thinking that if we all were shown stuff like this growing up, we would think of our goals and purpose in life differently.The story of stuff is a 20 minute sum up of our consumption cycle. It's targeted toward kids, but what that really means is that it's explained in simple, direct terms.
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Today's thought

"You are terrified of your own children, since they are natives in a world where you will always be immigrants. Because you fear them, you entrust your bureaucracies with the parental responsibilities you are too cowardly to confront yourselves. In our world, all the sentiments and expressions of humanity, from the debasing to the angelic, are parts of a seamless whole, the global conversation of bits. We cannot separate the air that chokes from the air upon which wings beat."John Perry Barlow, Feb. 8th 1996.Should you care about the French legislation towards copyright...

anti_hadopi_manif.jpg

The funny side of the story is hearing people in the Assembly talking about stuff they have never heard before, like MP3s or firewalls. Nothing quite like a law about technology to prove the idiocy of (most) politicians.Road to Bhutan, again...
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Polar bears have become the universal symbol of global warming, not so much because they're cute or cuddly (they're actually ferocious and not opposed to cannibalism), but because it is eminently clear that climate change is killing them. Polar bears depend on solid sea ice for survival; it's where they do their hunting. But when the ice begins to melt — as it has in recent years, thanks largely to warming — the bears can starve and die.A 2007 study by the U.S. Geological Survey found that two-thirds of the polar bears on the planet could disappear by mid-century if Arctic ice keeps melting. So when the Bush Administration bowed to pressure from environmental groups last year and finally listed the polar bear as threatened under the Endangered Species Act (ESA) — admitting that melting sea ice was the reason — it was considered a rare green coup. Since the ESA mandates the government protect endangered species from hazards, listing the polar bear as threatened by global warming would appear to require Washington to control carbon emissions. Some green groups even thought the ESA could be used to fight new coal plants and other big emitters of greenhouse gases, on the grounds that they would accelerate warming and harm the polar bear. (See Germany's latest polar bear celebrity.)But there was a catch. While declaring the polar bear threatened by global warming, the Bush Interior Department added a rule that limited the use of the ESA to curb greenhouse gas emissions. In other words, even though science says that global warming is directly hurting polar bears and man-made carbon emissions are the chief cause of global warming, Washington wouldn't be allowed to use the ESA to do anything about it.President Barack Obama had promised to review those last-minute Bush Administration changes to the ESA. And green groups were hopeful that the new Interior Secretary, Ken Salazar, would restore full protections for the polar bear. But they came away disappointed on May 8, when Salazar announced that he would keep the Bush rule in place, claiming that the ESA wasn't meant to be used to cap carbon emissions. "When the ESA was passed, it was not contemplated it would be a tool to address the issue of climate change," he said. "It seems to me that using the Endangered Species Act as a way to get to that global warming framework is not the right way to go." (See pictures of the effects of global warming.)Though he coupled his announcement with a call for comprehensive climate legislation, Salazar essentially made the same argument that his predecessors had: that the ESA was meant to deal with local threats to species, not global ones. It would be impossible, for example, to directly link the increase in carbon emissions caused by a new coal plant to the polar bears' melting habitat. But environmental groups, several of which had fought in the courts for years to force the Bush Administration to list the polar bear, found Salazar's logic faulty. "From a scientific standpoint they're wrong," says John Kostyack, senior counsel at the National Wildlife Federation. "By doing this, the Obama Administration is missing a chance to tell the American people what global warming is doing their wildlife."Environmental groups were already less than enthusiastic about Salazar heading the Interior Department. A Democratic senator from Colorado, Salazar was a rancher more attuned to the idea of using nature rather than protecting it, and he angered greens early by removing the Western gray wolf from the endangered species list. As the head of Interior, he'll be making decisions on whether to open up new land to oil and gas development, and the polar bear ruling has some environmentalists worried. "This does raise a red flag," says Noah Greenwald, program director for the Center for Biological Diversity, which is fighting the polar bear ruling in court. "You worry this means he is not going to be a friend of the environment and the Endangered Species Act."It's a little early to judge Salazar's tenure at the Interior Department, and the Secretary may have a point — the ESA wasn't designed to counter a threat as global as global warming. The best way to deal with carbon emissions is to pass national legislation that would create a cap-and-trade program, rather than trying to stretch the ESA to fit a purpose its drafters couldn't have foreseen. But the ongoing battle over the polar bear is a reminder that wildlife will be the first victims of global warming — and that saving them won't be easy.
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