I'm just going to write for the sake of writing. fuck spelling, and grammar, and all those formalities. it's just driving me crazy thinking about editing it all.
SO this is what THIS is. Bird by Bird. Word by Word. Page by Page. Day by Day....etc...etc...etc...
Peanut Butter and Honey Fairy Squares
Thinking about school lunches makes me remember all the things about those early years of school that I wish I could forget sometimes. The smell of my kindergarden room carpet, sandbox, and rice-bin, paint, plastic, wood. That weird smell of lenolieum, glue, and something else kind of sour, that I could never quite find the name for, like stale milk mixed with some form of putrid lime from another planet. The first boy I fell in love with in kindergarden wore a suit on the first day of school, and ended up hating me, and running away from me every time I ran after him on the playground. The boy who punched me in the stomach. My "friends" who would also run away from me on the playground ( I wasn't very popular) and dis-invite me from their birthday parties, then invite me again when they felt like I deserved it again. I spent a lot of time alone, counting the tires that circled our playground, once I realized how mean kids could be. Counting the tires helped me figure out other things inside my head, that I couldn't talk about to anybody else. I often wondered to myself what we were doing inside this cage? What kind of animals were we? Monkeys? We did have monkey bars? We were treated like animals.... Well, we were children, but of course! And one of the most veriosious types of animals out there... real human children.
There are good memories too, very few...but they're there. The good memories are mainly all the things I imagined up inside my head. Usually completely oposite of what was actually going on in my direct reality. I learned to be an expert imaginer, to get through my day. To survive.
My lunches for school were packed by my Mom, usually peanut butter and honey sandwiches, those were my favorite snacks in the whole world. If Icould have, I would probably have aten them three times a day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. One of my favorite songs that I learned was about sandwiches, and I used to sing it all the time it went like this "sandwiches are beautiful, sandwiches are fine, I like sandwiches I eat them all the time. I eat them for my breakfast and I eat them for my lunch. If I had a thousand sandwiches I'd eat them all at once." I'de always picture haveing thousands of sandwiches in my mouth at once, and it frightend me to see my mouth open as wide as the whole world to fit all those sandwiches inside me! This reminds me of another song I used to sing, and it was one of the first times that I became really afraid of reality because I realized I hadn't a clue what it was to be alive...the song goes like this "row row row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream"...I remember singing that in the car, and then feeling this pang of fear, wondering, "if life is a dream, then when do I wake up, and what will I wake up to, who is going to wake me up, and when I got back to sleep, will I wake up back here?!" I did not like the row your boat song. Almost all of the songs I heard as a kid made me feel uneasy, like you know : Pocket full of posy...all fall down, and Rock a bye baby on the tree tops. Both those songs would make me feel really sad, and I didn't know why. My favorite ones were the sandwiches song, and a song called "the cat came back" about a cat that comes back over and over again, the very next day...even though his master tries to get rid of him time and time again...the cat just won't leave. It always made me laugh.
Sometimes I didn't feel like eating my lunches, and they would go rotten in the bottom of my napsack, staining the edges of my books and duatangs with the moist soggy smell of mold and neglect. I couldn't stand the word duatang when I was little, but I loved saying the word binder, and I couldn't wait until I could use a binder and not a duatang, because the older kids used binders, and I wanted to grow up faster so that people would take me more seriously. My Mom would get angry with me when I would let my lunches go bad at the bottom of my bag, and as I got older she stopped making me lunches, and I would go hungry. I didn't like eating, most of the time because I was nervous and tense all the time, and it made terrible painful cramps in my stomach. The nervousness started when we were learning how to write, which is the same time yelling and fights started happening at home with my Mom and my step Father, her boyfriend.
I remember my teacher telling us to hold the pencil in our right hand, then telling us to hold it in our left, and then asking us what hand feels the most comfortable. For me neither hands felt any more or less comfortable than the other...and I told the teacher that both hands were the same. I wanted to write with my left and going from the right page to the left...but when I saw that most of the other kids were using their right hands, and the teacher said that this was most common, I did the same. Thats when the tension in my neck and back, and stomach started. It felt uncomfortable, but I wanted to fit in. Now I have re-taught myself how to use my left hand in writing, and it feels more comfortable, so I use both now, like I wanted to in the beginning.
I knew that my Mother loved me very much when she would ask me "DO you want me to make you a peanut butter and honey sandwich, and cutt it into fiary squares?" ( The way her eyes widened and the way she said Fairy Squares was pretty much the most magical thing in the world for me to ever hear!) Fairy Squares by the way are just the sandwich cut into triangled pieces. I never knew exaclty why she called them fairy squares, I just figured that it was probably because they were smaller pieces, the right size for a fairy to eat, if they wanted to try some of my sandwich, it wouldn't be too big for them to bite into. I'de picture them buzzing around my sandwhich like flies waiting for me to look away for one second, from my food, to steal it from me, but I was always too quick for them, and ate up my sandwich as fast as I could. My Mom would usually make this for me to cheer me up if I was feeling sad. It always worked wonders on me without fail. IN an instant my whole being would become lit up, and I would nod my head vigorously showing my wide eyed approval.
Like most kids, I liked to imagine more than I liked doing anything else. One of the major reasons why I loved peanut butter and honey sandwiches so much was because I could always imagine myself as a little baby bear cub when I ate my sandwich, and the reason why I enjoyed doing this was because my favorite character on our bed-time-story-tape called "Nanny Bird" was the Bear, and he just Looooved Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwiches -- he would make the most delicious sounds in the story while eating, and I tried to the best of my ability to imitate him. In my mind at that moment of.... bite and chew... I became a little tiny bear cub, no longer human, and the Bear from the Story became my Pretend Father.
My Dad left my Mother and us when I was two years old, I met him when I was five.
SO I pretended that I was not a little girl without a father, and I hadn't yet fully realized why other little girls had fathers but I for some reason did not -- slowly I began to believe that there was something wrong with me, and it was all my fault that father didn't want us.
Now I think I almost know the answers to many of the questions that puzzled me at that time, but every so often, when I eat a peanut butter and honey sandwhich I can still imagine myself as a bear cub, and it makes me smile.
tea time for dinner pablo, honey
Listening The King Of Limbs, again, again & again.
My favorite is Separator (& LF, Codex, Little By Little...)
Un chef d'oeuvre de plus, une alchimie parfaite pour les oreilles, comme toujours.
Update of OS_COMPUTER. : (Click on picture).
Thx everybody & Radiohead.
Today we become an orphan.
Oceansize were gods of cold progressive rock with moaning guitars.
As they played, as they suffered during their songs.
I've never attended their concert. =(
I can't believe.
Just feel this angst of february.
I hope the energy from TKOL transfers to my girls, they are so pretty already but its time for a new set of Radiohead for them, will see what they do with the new album. ill post some pics as soon as i can when they BLOOM.
it's hard for me to describe in words most things, but especially the things that seem to mean the most to me.
maybe thats why people like me are called "artists" or whatever the fuck we're called, because we suck at any other form of communication, as in verbal, conversation, linear, whatever connecting with people in the "normal" way.
I'm abstract. I love radiohead so much so because they are just that. abstract. diverse. never-ending. changing always. expanding. challenging not only themselves but the people who listen to their music to seek deeper on multiple levels.
radiohead has been the soundtrack to many important moments in my life, and their music, as a whole, is now a part of me. it's in me. thats the beautiful thing about music, and the artist, and their creation. they share it, you take it, and some how although they made it, you make it yours through how you experience it. music puts reality into real time. or more so. music makes time make sense. somehow?
To be honest though, I haven't stopped listening to the new album King of Limbs since I uploaded it on friday. I've even been listening to it inbetween my breaks at work. I can never seem to get enough of their music...and i mean...this goes for everything they've ever done...and they are the only band that i feel this way for. I'm a little bit embarrassed to admit it, but, thats how it is. Sometimes music is the only thing that gets me through my day. Gets me through this life filled with questions, without such clear cut answers. Gets me through fears, anxieties, and helps me make sense of time, and what i'm processing. music helps me LIVE.
Everytime I listen to every song on the king of limbs i realize, or hear something different. It's amazing. I wish I could describe things better with words, to the depth of what i can feel them...but it's not possible. words are so limitting.
First of all, starting even before i ever uploaded the album onto my mp3 player, I was so excited to get this new CD downloaded that I couldn't sleep all of thursday night. I woke up at 11:30pm thursday, and stayed awake all night until morning, and into friday! There was a full moon, and i just looked out my window and watched the clouds move over it until the sun rose...and i watched the moon fall, as the sun rose, and it was probably one of the most profound nights of my life. The way the light reflected...I'll never see it like that again. Not the same.
I found out that morning that radiohead was surprise releasing the CD on that friday, and I watched the video posted of the Lotus Flower, and it just ....totally impacted me, and especially because i just experienced watching the moon fall, and the sun rise.... it just felt perfect for me to see that video at that moment...and before uploading the Mp3 version of King of Limbs....which i uploaded only later on that day on friday after coming home from work...
What else can i say? I'm a die hard radiohead freak! They've been with me through all of the moments that have been most impacting on my life. They were there with me when i left home at the age of 16, they were with me through those brutal final years of highschool, graduation, and my first travelling/living experiences in a foreign country....not to mention countless times walking, cycling... i've listend to radiohead while i'm happy, sad, going through emotional breakdowns, highs, and lows... man....all of radioheads music has been through it all with me. I have meaning attached to each and every one of their songs...and it evolves and changes...and it's just amazing to me how much can be learned through music. when a person creates music in a certain way, a lot can be learned.
I love radiohead so much that, if i hear their music playing in a public place, i literally will like look around expecting to see them, like i've just bumped into an old friend that i haven't seen in a long time. thats how close it is to my heart.
this new album...is one of their best. I can't wait to get the newspaper package with the artwork, and cd's and everything. it's going to be amazing, it already is, and has been amazing.
...Every single song, is my favorite song....
I LOVE YOU RADIOHEAD.
XOXO
So after many attempts I figure it's worth just giving up on the old MT (which for some reason after countless attempts has never allowed me to post.. still no idea why) and moved into a life of lurking. Funny how a album release can bring you back to notice old things but it's reassuring for a bit of nice quiet.It's been interesting to follow the discussions on 'conspiracy' over Chieftain Mews and co. but most of all to see how downright hopeless the main news sources are at following a story if they actually have to -search- rather then wait for it to come to them.
What really bugs me is how the Financial Times (and thus the world copying on it's toes) was ready to beat the drum that the pay-what-you-want model was 'dead' and yet being a Aussie who believe it or not doesn't own a credit card the real exciting thing about the release of King of Limbs was that unlike In Rainbows it wasn't a matter of price but the fact that I (and anyone else with a email address and a bank account) COULD Pay for the album. Where where the stories there? Instead of running with the fact that they have managed to make the prospects of paying a reasonable amount (which is still waaay cheaper then playing hit and miss with the local cd store) better prospects then playing pot luck with Torrents. I think I saw a interview ages ago with Ed pointing out the very simple fact that it's impossible to make people pay for music if they don't have the system in place to do so.
When In Rainbows was released I clicked and got curious to see the 'It's up to you' but really it wasn't because it was either a case of trying to explain to my Dad why I needed to borrow his credit card to buy a cd or wait the three weeks or whatever it was and 3 cd stores to find one that stocked In Rainbows on release (adding another week or two on account of living in a rural town on the wrong side of the planet). This time I got the message 2nd hand though my boyfriends facebook (which I avoid), checked the website (squeeded for a bit) banged my head against the computer a couple of times (Turns out Firefox4 Beta does not like the cookies) did what apparently none of the mediafolks did and clicked on 'pay with paypal' and wola, all good and easier then buying a used record player on ebay. Awesome... which reminds me that a record player should probably be on the shopping list now. (My big thoughts on what was coming last year was - Better by a Record Player. This year is: It's all about dancing!)
The world has changed, I remember the first thing I ever bought online was the 'Book' special edition of Amnesiac, I also saw the future death of the record industry the day I made a bus trip 2 towns over to buy The Eraser, only to find that the major cd store didn't have it because they 'don't carry independent artists' .. ignoring the White Stripe cds they had on the other shelf who where also on XL. They offered to order it in for me. I walked across town and bought it at a smaller chain related to the store I used to visit, the guy there was nice and knew me well enough to order in Com Lag just for fans. I had the misfortune of being stuck in a queue a McDonalds thanks to my best mate when King of Limbs was released.. talk about timing, if i'd remembered the free mcWifi I could have logged in and downloaded the album onto my phone while waiting for chips, no app, no drm, just good old mp3 files to a cheap android handset.. that's a real revolution right there!
In short, Thank you Radiohead + Management for making the album fair even for us little folks stuck out at sea :)
like electrisity in the air,
Starting from wrists or palms or fingertips
it flows through my body and brain,
mixes with emotions
and makes the body move and stop at times.
мне сказали быть добрее.
я каждый день стараюсь, честно.
даже почти каждую минуту.
миру мир
immerse your soul in love
не распространять негатив
хотя сложно очень.
иногда невозможно.
но я всё равно стараюсь.
другого пути нет.
Да, это Будда. На этот раз в шляпе. Теперь понятно, почему треков - восемь. Количество чакр плюс "сепаратор" - переход к следующему уровню, который, я точно знаю, будет дальше. И ждет нас не далее как грядущей весной.
Пылающий красными углями Bloom, оранжевые теннисные мячики, скачущие по оранжевому корту - MorningMrMagpie, жёлтый песок и жаркое жёлтое солнце - LittleByLittle, темно-зеленый хвойный лес - Feral (Оля, там есть такой момент - ух! я в первые раз даже испугалась, и до сих пор еще шугаюсь:)), нежно-голубой LotusFlower, Codex цвета индиго и фиолетовое сознание - GiveUpTheGhost.
Воля, вдохновение и сексуальность, эго и разум, вера и сострадание, голос, открывающий истину, третий глаз уже чешется и хочет открытся - и в небеса, где единство. И все они в это время рядом.
И я их очень люблю. Что они есть и что они рядом.
Теперь понятно, почему они так тянули. Еще не время, было еще не время. А теперь они вовремя как никогда.
Winter angels and dark stairways
Your music sifts through energy and forest caves
Simple dust from forever lusts
I lay down in dreams of blacken trust
c
After about 10 listens so far, Seperator really stands out to me. I don't know why.
I'm interested in the conspiracy theories going on now about another disk. This is way too Thom to be a radiohead record. That being said, it's still incredible. I don't know if I could rank it yet with the rest. I'll probably have to listen to it a couple more times. At this point, i'd probably still put in ahead of Pablo Honey and Hail to the Theif.
When do you think tour news will be coming to us?
Happy 25th birthday, The Legend of Zelda!
oh yes.
mathematically short, overwhelmingly loaded with feel and groove.
so much to take in 38 fucking minuets.
when i finish listening i feel like i've circled the world and made it back.
electronics. beats. hiss. clicks. denoisers working hard. distorted backing vox.
thomas and his silky smooth voice. relaxed this time. i can sing along and find time to breath for the very first radiohead album. filled with space, space filled up. gracefully.
cellos, brass, johnny's caramel-sweet lead guitar.. phil and colin ruling the kingdom of limbs from above. and ed providing his bright pads and fills at perfection just right and typically.
djs will goosebump when they will reckon those beats.
musicians will melt when they find their way into the orchestra.
and as for me, im all filled up with thanks. feeling privileged.
please never stop.
wake me up, wake me.
I hope that's not a trademarked term...
HI!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV4xhsYvU2g
I SAW THIS ONE FANTASTIC FULL VIDEO RADIOHEAD NEW SONGS OF THE KINGS OF LIMBS ALBUM!
IT'S REALLY AMAZING!
BUT, I THINKING THAT IT'S SO DIFFERENT FROM IN RAINBOWS!
AND SEEMS LIKE A LITTLE COLD, DEPRESSED AND VERY MUCH ELECTRONIC TOO!
I MISS THESE HARD ED, JONNY GUITARS AND PHIL DRUMMS SO MUCH AS WELL THESE GOOD MOMENTS LIVED DURING IN RAINBOWS AGE!
I MISS THAT ONE SONG "THESE ARE MY TWISTED WORDS"!IT'S A PRECIOUS SONG AND DON'T APPEAR IN THE ALBUM!
I DON'T LIKE IT!
BUT, IT'S ALL RIGHT BECAUSE THE GUYS WORKED HARD AND GOOD!
THIS SONG NAME "CODEX" IS MY FAVOURITE AT MOMENT!
ENJOY!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSd6mr5B0eA
THIS SONG MAKES ME REMEMBER THAT ONE GREAT "PIRAMID SONG" AND I LIKE THIS STYLE, ATMOSPHERE SO MUCH!
THIS ALBUM SEEMS LIKE ONE THOM YORKE SOLO ALBUM MORE THAN RADIOHEAD ALBUM!
WELL, I STILL DON'T FEEL USUAL LISTENING THIS NEW ALBUM AND ALL THE SONGS SEEMS STRANGE FOR ME.
BUT IT'S A MASTERPIECE, NO DOUBT!
THANK YOU, GUYS!
WELL, ED O' BRIEN POSTED ON DAS AGAIN TALKING THAT IT'S FULL MOON NIGHT...AND I THINK THEY WAS INFLUENCED FOR THE MOON, WINTER, ATMOSPHER MUSIC, WORKING ON THIS ALBUM!
CHECK THE POST ON THE RADIOHEAD OFFICIAL PAGE DAS, DEAD AIR SPACE!
ED IS AMAZING, FUNNY, CHEERFUL POSTING IT, AS ALWAYS!
GOOD LUCK, GUYS!
RADIOHEAD BRIGHTEN MY DAYS, MY LIFE!
LOVE ALWAYS!
natercia(PLANET ED O' BRIEN)
stinging cold, here in new england, pale air knocking dry as sucked bones.
translucent gowns of ice on normally nude asphalt... looking, too, for the flakes of it in midair, like shards of the real, split into millions like the Snow Queen's mirror. who is the fairest of them all?
loneliness.
It's going to be hard, trying to go back to school. I've been in a coma this weekend, listening to "The King of Limbs" on repeat with my good friend from UK. Although I wouldn't call it an album (I'd rather say EP), the tracks on it are beyond beautiful, fantastic and amazing. There are just a few things I've thought about... like how it almost looks and sounds like a solo album by Thom Yorke. If you saw the music video for "Lotus Flower", you'll know what I mean. The others aren't present, it's just Thom and his wonderful dancing. As I said, it's wonderful, so I don't mind him dancing and all. But it's just the fact that the others are so abscent.
My friend first told me before I got the album myself (he was a lot quicker, LOL)... it just feels like the guys (minus Thom) aren't that present in there. Okay, you can hear their instruments. But you could hear more vocal appearances in the previous albums. Nothing more than Thom now. That's why it kind of feels like it's a Thom Yorke album. And not one by Radiohead.
The other thing is that there were only 8 tracks on the "album"/EP. I really hope they'll release yet another album soon, with the "rest" of the songs. It's just a tad disappointing when the few songs on the album are so great... you just want more of it but you have to start over again after merely an hour of listening.
Other than that - you guys've made the best best best album. Or EP. Or whatever. Still, the best damn tracks in quite some time. Thank you.
