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the "What if RHMB screen names were names of films/tv shows" project (part 1)

Posted by belwether on June 9, 2010 at 1:00am

Below is Part 1. It has not been my intention to piss anyone off with these things and with a few exceptions don’t think anyone has a reason to be upset. Please take it in the spirit given. It’s a fun mental game and I invite you to play along if you want to make your own . I tried to make them believable as possible shows. I hope you enjoy it. Over the years I have created things for people on the board and this is just an easier way to make something for alot more at once (maybe I will get around to everyone one day).
Thank you all for the inspiration over the years and putting up with my silliness with a smile:)

Part 1: TUESDAY SHOWS

(2) 2- (aka Squared) This is a sitcom about a math nerd couple who are deciding to move into together. It is full of math jokes that go completely over the head of the hippie parents who come to visit every other episode. Best episode to see if you might like it is about "a pi eating contest".(It is sort of like Dharma and Greg meets Big bang theory)

A- This is a new comedy starring Tony Danza, Matt Leblanc and Joey Lawerence. They are all teachers of down and out kids who they hope will earn “A”’s but the title is likely in reference to the amount of ‘ey’s (which sound like a drawn out A) said in every episode. Also stars Henry Winkler as the school principal (cbs)

Abductee- This is a weekly tv show about people who have been abducted by aliens and their stories recalled through hypnotism. The stories are re-enacted and the aliens look and act so creepy it is sure to give children nightmares for years to come! Hosted by David Duchovny

Angel in Limbo- A documentary about the former stars of Charlie’s Angels and their lives today as they struggle for acting work and raising their families. (also includes touching tribute to Farrah Fawcett )

Asabp- British hospital drama where asabp is commonly called out everyday on the er. (as soon as bloody possible!). Watch the young doctors fall in and out of love and deal with crazy patients in this hour drama coming to the bbc

Ask a Leprechaun – A call in show where you can ask a leprechaun anything (but most questions tend to be either about leprechauns or relationship advice). Sometimes the leprechaun goes on rants though, which is why a doctor is there to help answer questions as well. (Similar to Loveline but with a leprechaun).

Back from the Dead –This is a generic zombie movie with a title that could be changed to a misleading title that sounds very close to any new zombie movie that is released to trick the stupid people at Blockbuster into renting it. Possible retitles could be 29 days later, Zombieworld, Shawn of the Dead, Residential Evil, Dawn of the Deads, I are Legend. There are hopes to sell this one to the people who bought and put out Transmorphers and Transmorphers 2: Fall Of Man (direct to DVD, later sold to syfy)

(actual Transmorphers case art:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Transmorphers.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Transmorphers2.jpg)

Belwether- Meet Mr. Bell. He’s the new weatherman for channel 8 but it seems every forecast he says comes true. You see a week earlier he saved an Indian chief’s life and now his tribes perform rain dances to make his forecasts turn out correct. But when the calls pour in with brides asking for sunny days on weddings or farmers asking for rain for their crops how do you choose who gets their way?
And what happens if you don’t please everyone all the time? Find out in “Belwether “on Hallmark

Board Itself Speaking- When a long time member of an online message board dies its ghost resides within the board itself. It is there to help people and uses its ghostly powers to search the internet and the world for solutions to his former friend’s problems. When the ghost says who he is most dismiss him as a distasteful troll mentioning their dead and faithful friend. So it takes on the new name ‘Board Itself Speaking’ and helps his friends with his supernatural powers from beyond the grave. Drama ensues with a beautiful young noob girl falls in love with the person behind the new screen name and sets up romantic meets for them and he never shows up. (made for tv movie on cbs)

Brain of Nazareth- This is a comedic look at Biblical times starring an unknown townsperson in Nazareth named Brian just living his life oblivious to the historical moments going on around him in the background. Though it was respectful of Christianity it was cancelled after the first episode due to complaints and sponsors dropping out based on people finding the idea of a sitcom being set in Biblical times distasteful and sacrilegious. Others claimed it was almost a rip off of the Monty Python movie “Life of Brian.” The creators said their show had similarities to the film but was different as it dealt with a family man who was oblivious and “not a goofy way to messiah type story that the film was”.

Brpple- A quirky show about a girl named brpple. She’s only 6 (and her real name is Ramona) but wants everyone to call her brpple because that’s her fairy princess name. Shes precocious and precious and says the darnest things at the worst times. Her catchphrase is “Well aren’t you a big bag of mean!”

Cannot Tell Water From Champagne- This is a show about reforming country girls into proper ladies. Watch what happens when you take trailer park girls and put them into a 10 million dollar mansion. In this cross between the Beverly Hillbillies and the Simple Life. The girl that becomes the most cultured wins the mansion and enough money to maintain her new lifestyle for 2 years. May set the record for the amount of “y’alls” spoken per hour in tv history. (Fox)

Cinnamon-Carmine- Do you ever wonder how they make cinnamon? This 45-minute doc shows you how it is made with a visit to the Carmine family’s spice processing plant. From the root, to your table, to the corporate dealings you will see it all.

Cisum Tixe- How do you fill a whole desert with screaming rock fans at one of the biggest rock festivals in all the world? This documentary shows how difficult it is to get a big festival without going through Ticketmaster. Somehow the International Cisum Festival of Music in Death Valley Committee finds a way and you’ll see how.

Cloaked Romulan Warbird – In this Star Trek spin off movie we follow an intrepid crew of Romulans in the early days of space travel as they travel the galaxy in the first and experimental Romulan Warbird with cloaking technology. The first time a weapon is used in battle one has the element of surprise. How and when to use that is the main dilemma of the captain when he sees a fellow warbird being fired at by a large group of Klingons ships. He could save his fellow Romulans but give up the element of surprise of the cloaking device which could turn the tide of war they are traveling to. Do the needs of the many really outweigh the few? (syfy)

Cloudscapes- This is a painting show entirely dedicated to teaching people how to paint cloudscapes. Whether its puffy little clouds or angry grey clouds you will learn how to paint them with ease (public television)

Com-lag- A romantic film about long distance lovers. One in America and one in Japan after meeting on vacation. It was planned to be the sequel to Lost in Translation but none of the actors wanted to reprise their roles and now it is being made as a new and separate film with a new cast.

Completely Unhinged- This a documentary about carnival rides at amusement parks and how dangerous they really are and the stories of the unknown cover ups of these “killer rides”.Special notice goes to the ride “Ring of Fire” which has killed more people than any other ride by derailment.

-(youtube clip of the amusement park ride Ring of Fire in action:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR_38Xuw3fQ&feature=related)

Crazybikergirl – When the cops are paid off and justice needs to be served there’s only one lady to turn to: Crazybikergirl. Each episode she rides from town to town on her motorcycle. Her mythic status is known among the lands for helping the downtrodden and making things right. Whether it’s cracking the skulls of abusive boyfriends or setting a corrupt town on fire, justice will be served before she reaches the next town. Each episode we get clues to her mysterious past and the deeper agenda of why she travels from town to town.

CS- cs (crime scene) is a mobile phone only spin off of the popular CSI shows. It shows the actual crimes before the episodes air giving the home audience with V- Cast phones the choice of watching the crimes and knowing whodunit ahead of time or watching it normally (standard rates apply)

(disclaimers: I made a lot of stuff up for joke purposes. There is no Carmine Cinnamon Factory or Cisum Music Festival for example. Also the Ring of Fire is not the killer I make it out to be. While I try to keep things plausible, storytelling is basically creative lying. Keep that in mind.)
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here i am

Posted by Daniel Pruett on June 8, 2010 at 7:28pm

tired. lonely.

and again with the atoms for peices.

someone come over pls

Rouanet Law

Posted by esmeralda lewiit on June 6, 2010 at 12:30am

I have a confession to make. It`s about work. I work for the government of my country since 2006, right before President Lula`s reelection.

Well, what I have to say is directly linked to my view of my country and my expectations as a citizen. I don`t know! I thought I could help my country, I thought I could change its reality and make it a better place, but at this point I realize that governments are all the same. It doesn`t matter what the ideology is, at the end, all governments try to prove what they`ve improved, what they`ve done better, causing it to become a reckless, oblivious, neglecting entity. It works for the present time and for some specific purpose, which, oftenly turns out not to be the people, the citizens, the vox populi.

I feel so ashamed of myself, when I realize I`m part of it. All the time I thought I was helping, but "just coz you feel it, it doesn`t mean it's there". Even when you try to fight it, or confront it, you feel powerless "crushed like a bug in the ground". I began to think that I did good because I`ve always aimed at presenting new opportunities for my country, bringing changes that would contribute to its improvement; and because I try to do everything by the book, hoping that it would make a difference for its sucess. But then I realized, all this drama was not real. It was surreal. The thing is: I lived a different political moment, if you like that expression, or you could simply say I have a different point of view.

See, by the time I started working for the government, we were building the strategies, making medium and long term goals for our country, we were presenting a national plan for culture, bringing the importance of cultural expression to the core of development of a society. We were setting programs to accomplish our goals based on the information we had, which was very little I supposed. This was really hard and some things didn't really brought us very good results. But we knew that was going to happen, it's difficult to change the reality of a country, especially a big, populated, developing country like Brazil. And at some point we got the results from a study we requested for the Brazilian Institute of Geography and Statistics (IBGE) that shoked us a little. We found out that roughly 80% of brazilian citizens have never been to the movies, theater, concerts and so on. At the same time we found out that brazilians spend around 11% of their income with cultural goods and services.

This numbers made it clear the gap between some regions of Brazil and their population. The typical unequal capitalist distortions of the developing democratic countries of South America. Caused by the unfair distribution of everything. In my country this maldistribution includes the population, health services, educational services, culture, infra-structure, etc. Thus we have rural exodus, in search of better quality of life.

Rouanet law

Well, the Rouanet law is mechanism of fiscal/tax renunciation, where a cultural project can be financed using the tax contribution. Actually, it's a trade, the sponsor pays up until 4% of his taxes to the project and he won't have to pay it later in the end of the fiscal year. So, the sponsor gets the right to have his name or label advertised in the cultural project and the cultural agent gets the financial support he needed. This mechanism is not new and it's not perfect either, and, in Brazil, it does not work as well as we expected. This is because a research made in 2008, I guess, showed that more than 80% of all renunciated taxes goes to only 5% of the projects. Clearly an unfair distribution, even worse is the fact that these projects are all based in the same regions, which is the biggest cities of Brazil (Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro). The north of BRazil gets less than 3% of the taxes. It's a sad distortion, some my say, very sad.

But when you start analysing things more closely, you realized that this is actually not as bad as it looks. Let's face some facts based on reports of IBGE, 2007 and UNDP, 2005:

1- the north is formed by seven states that combined total up to a population of 15.023.331 and a Human Development Index (HDI) of 0,764 medium;

2 - The northeast of brazil is formed by nine states that combined total up to a population of 53.591.197 and HDI of 0,72 medium;

3- the southeast is formed by four states with a population of 77.857.758 and a HDI of 0,824 elevated;

4- the south part is formed by three states with a population of 26.729.883 and a HDI of 0,831 elevated; and finally

5 - the central-west part is formed by four states with a population of 13.269.517 and a HDI of 0,815 elevated.

Starting with the numbers presented above we can conclude that the population distribution in Brazil is unequal. According to the data 41% of brazil`s total population lives in the southeast region; 8% in the north, 28% in the northeast; 14% in the south; and 7% in the central-west part. Regarding the HDI also one can conclude that the north and northeast part are less developed than the rest of the country.

But the reference used above mentioned the cities of Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo, both belonging to the southeast part of Brazil. Note that we're not referring to the States of Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo, but these states` capitals, Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo. So, if we take the cities of Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro which are considered global metropolis in Brazil, we have that:

1- the city of Rio de Janeiro represents 3% of Brazil's total population (6.186.710 inhab) and HDI of 0.842; and

2 - the city of Sao Paulo representes 5% of Brazil`s total population (11.037.593 inhab) and HDI of 0,841.

These two cities combined account for almost 10% of Brazil`s total population and they are both ranked between the most elevated HDI rates of the entire country. So, based on these numbers I don't think it's really a suprise that only 5% of the cultural projects correspond for more than 80% of the taxes renunciated, Do you?

A Sad Conclusion

Of course, we need to correct the unequal distribution that has been occuring with this mechanism, but, let's face it, the problem is hardly the mechanism itself. The problem relies on more difficult paradigms of the brazilian society, but I have to say that today the solution that has been presented, it's simply to redistribute the money. I can't see how this is going to help, seriously. I don't agree with this strategy. I think it's rather immediatist (that is to say: wants to see results immediately), reckless and dangerous, because doesn't take into consideration the distortions this redistribution may cause.

I like to take the safer approach, the approach I think will be better for my country and its citizens, the approach that chooses to tackle a greater issue: the knowledge issue, the inclusion issue, the information competency issue. The approach that searches for the deeper cause of these unequal scenarios and that instantly realizes that what needs to be better distributed is not money but knowledge, information, intelligentsia. The approach that realizes that these kind of goals aren't accomplished by short or medium term agendas. But they will certainly cause an impact and maybe cause something unexpected to happen. Maybe, one day, an e-business insight that will wipe the money factor off of the equation and give birth to a different system with different distortions but yet, something new. Evolution.

I don't know! I fail to obliterate these numbers whenever I hear the political speaches tackeling the Rouanet Law as an unfair mechanism that causes distortions and unequality. I'd rather face the reality, face that my country is unequal in many ways territorially, demographically, financially and so on, and based on these facts I build a strategy.

I must be a naive idealist, but I can't take all the political bull my co-citizens barely have the witz to analyse. I feel paralysed evey time I see the ignorant mass swallow open a bunch of political BS just because they don't know any better.

Anyways. I just needed to vent.