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amirador

My remarkable friend Lou has an amazing flat which is disorganised in the most attractive way; there are two desks, both of dark wood, one in a very small alcove with a window, mismatching chairs and armchairs in the middle of the room with an antique coffee table, all with a faded rug underneath, and a bluish-grey sofa close to it. Beside one desk, pinned vertically up the wall are drawings, old ones mixed with new ones, mostly of flowers. Her drawings suffice anyway but she doesn't actually keep real flowers, and if she does for some reason, they end up dead and wilted until I or someone else visits and gets rid of them.

The room has blue patterned wallpaper for the most part but the wall with the door is of a different paper. She has a violin which she improvises on, which is kept in a small wooden alcove in a bookshelf which is in the corner; bookshelves almost floor to ceiling, on the corner face of each wall. And this arrangement is mirrored diagonally opposite in the corner on the right entering the room. Wallpaper from there across to the window above the sofa. Lots of books stacked on the floor, old lamps with fabric shades. The opposite wall to the one with the recessed-desk has two windows with thick curtains that need cleaning, there's another chair looking out one of them, with clothes thrown across it, like most of the furniture. Mismatched pillows, she sleeps on the sofa (doesn't believe in beds) so there are blankets always strewn across it, and books underneath it.

And she acts like it isn't anything special but she must have accumulated the things for years. She has contrasted all of these styles and it just works so well. Entering from the door, there is another small wing on the left, which I am in now, the wallpaper is different and here is the small kitchen. The roof, which is wooden, slants and the windows here have frames that match the roof wood (the others are painted white). The bathroom is attached to here, with cream-beige walls and black and white tiles and very singular light fittings.

oh and I am also learning French now

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Sweeper- nearly swept me off my feet

Wish the world wasn’t true to the tune of topsvy turveyRather be spinning about at concerts pre pandemic LikeI had tickets to Hammerstein ballroom in 2020-Never mindI can’t afford anymore any time2022Made youTo far awayToo far wayFar too expensiveThis is the new abnormal - no reliefNo RadioheadNoThe smileNo thom and NigelNo arcade fireNo rhcpNo the strokesYes I got to see billie eilish once this year andI’m seeing twenty friends be pilots in AugustNo one else is coming hereAnd I can’t afford to go anywhere…Was a wonderful worldMiss you radioheadAll the light and love and thank you for all performances I treasure the memoriesCateCatelyst11AcatelystelevenBig love to Stanley
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paper raincoat

It had just stopped raining in a dark city; very dark, only a few lamp-like windows. I was walking up low, stone steps that made no logical sense, then back down a slope into a carpark overgrown with wet elm trees. Empty fields of grey and brown were beyond it. 

Another dream involved an installation in a dream-library. A display which formed sphinxes and obelisks from levitating strands of light and matter, moving outwards from the back of the room, over bookshelves and our heads. The room was at an unbearable slant. I was watching with the architect of this installation, she was showing it off proudly, like artists do.

There is a brown tree with yellow leaves in a crumbled courtyard that I keep walking past. I will get a picture. 

It is autumn, the best time of year, “the king of seasons” with the best colours. Autumn and the late afternoon are inextricable. They're the same sensation, the same colours. 

I imagine having a drawing by John Berger in a small, square frame. I think I should copy one. If I think of him closely while I do it, it might invoke his hand. 

The leafless orchard,
Laughs in tearful blood,
Eternal, mounted on his wild yellow stallion,
Roams autumn, the king of seasons.

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The red robe

11011050085?profile=original‘Do you ever feel homesick? Cold and gloom abound, soft the sea’s waves sound...’

I asked him what he thought of the pictures I brought him, but before I finished he begged; ‘Do you hear that?’

‘Hear what?’ I replied. 

‘Three dead men riding north’, he said.

Thus passes worldly glory.

Once I found a man in a quiet dark room, far from the world that I had come from, sitting bent on the corner of a tomb. Around him were trinkets and golden cups, shields, old intricate instruments, gilded books, a proper hoard. He couldn't turn to face me, he was so frail. He just asked quietly, ‘Have you come to rob me?’ I said that I had not. Then he thought he knew me; he might have supposed that if I hadn’t come to rob him I must be his saviour; he said he was surprised to hear my voice. I took a step closer, and saw better the glittering treasure but was unmoved by it. I had everything I could ever want in The Greenhouse downstairs. I asked whether he had prepared himself for the afterlife with this elaborate display, but he said no. ‘I just thought to arrange these oddments together... Tell me, what is it like?’ I asked him what he meant. ‘The other world’, he replied. ‘Tell me’.

‘The other world is evanescent and withered’, I said reflexively. He gasped quietly for breath. 

‘Do you know’, he said with effort, ‘I have dreamed of late of ladders made of thorns’. I was surprised; ‘so have I!’ I said. 

‘Ah. And did you climb them?’

‘No, but my companion did. They took pleasure from it’. He didn't respond. ‘I ran away’, I added. ‘That afternoon, I was close to the other world. I could hear its discordance’. 

The crooked man just let out a long, slow sigh. 

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