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cold

i dreamed a girl i once slept with brought a snake into bed with me. it curled against my stomach, silver and spitting, its head level with my eyes. i held up the sheets against it, whispering, 'emily, emily, its going to bite me, its holding its head up like its going to bite me,' and she told me not to worry. my dream shifted, as dreams do, and i found myself standing at an old-fashioned sink, rinsing the blood from a snake-bite on my finger. emily stood behind me, watching, running her palms along my back.
'im sorry, i didnt know.' she said.
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My Daydream

Apparently I have temporarily saturated my conscious and subconscious with a lot of Radiohead (well more than usual). Whenever that happens I do get Radiohead dreams. In the latest one, I somehow end up in the backseat while Mr. Yorke is driving me to school and asking me questions in an uncle-sort-of-way. This is probably symptomatic of my ongoing dissertation fever.

Well this amplified if not prompted a little day dream fantasy of mine... namely singing with Uncle Yorke or the entire band. He/They would be in DC in the spring or summer for earthday or a concert. For no reason I can really think of, he/they would decide to take in some local colour after some talks with President Obama about climate change. This local colour would best be observed in Adams Morgan. Very important for this day dream is that the day he/they go to Adams Morgan is Wednesday. He/They stumble upon Madam's Organ (a landmark in Adams Morgan, really). He/They go upstairs to the open mic for a laugh...

And there I'll be about to launch into a Radiohead cover when I see him/them, so I issue an invitation to the audience/him/them to help me sing this one...

And he/they does/do.... or he/they laugh at me....

Sigh...

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"THE PLUG PULLER"

How it all went down

I pressed my lips against his cold brow. For the first time in my life I'd seen a body with every facet of the living life sucked out of it. My family surrounded me but they were unseen, with my focus on his now lifeless eyes I get a sense of dejavu. Every worst case scenario, every "wish you could have been there" flooded me with regret and guilt all at once. It was enough to paralyze me as I banished myself to the waiting room for the grieving families. I couldn't let them see me in this state of sheer vulnerability. 15 minutes prior to him passing, He told me that he loved me through his ventilator that muted him for the last 2 weeks of his beautiful life. I looked him in his petrified eyes and knew that he knew………..we all did. And how am I supposed to react? Should I stay strong for him? For my family? Or should I have broken down and wept like every ounce of me wanted to. I did none of these things. I stood next to his body in utter disbelief. Numb to the world because for those few moments my entire existence revolved around this weathered soul that I called my brother, and he called me his………Even in his position as the delirious human infected with the most lethal of lethal's he was still my big strong brother who for so many years was my anchor. We'd been through the same superficial struggles, We'd dealt with our problems together. And at the moment that he passed I knew that my life would change forever. "FOREVER" Such power exists in itself…………for…….ever…….never ending. And it scares me to know that it could happen to anyone. My friends that I hold dear, myself, and my enemies could all fall victim to an unjust death. I wouldn't wish what I have felt on anyone but me. ………………………………........................................................His now deflating veins making their way back into their place gave the image of worms burying themselves before springs first rain. Was he a martyr? Because it seems that his dying was the catalyst that brought my mother and father to the realization that they brought him into this world and now they have just chosen to take him out. ……..what weight.



And I recall, cigarettes and headphones. I smelled of grandfathers musk . Stand still
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Without Blinders

I see you
Alone in a crowded room
Speaking about nothing
Going through life lost inside yourself
Thinking that you're invisible
But I see you

I see you
Cigarette in hand for something to do
Working away your time for nothing
Throwing yourself into anything to keep busy
Hiding from the pain you're afraid will lead you to hell
I see you

I see you
Silently crying yourself to sleep
Wondering why it has to be so hard
Wanting nothing more than to be free
Locked behind who you want to be
I see you

I see you
So good inside, masked by a hardening shell
Heartfelt smile that shines in your eyes
So beautiful a heart that the world seems ugly
Too much disappointment, afraid to let go
I see you

I see you
Pain, excruciating, nothing to fill the gaping wounds
Liquid poured right through your soul
Ashamed of the past, afraid there's no future
One day at a time, a means to an end
I see you

I see you
Fighting everyday to be closer to good
Yet, believing all you touch turns black
Those who seek you out don't rate
Assuming they must be crazy to hang around
I see you

I see you
Happy for a minute and ashamed that you were
Thinking you poison all that you love
Caring so much that it consumes you
Believing your doing right by cutting loose
I see you

I see you
Feeling like damaged goods
Sitting on the cusp of acceptance
Trying to re-assimilate
But more afraid of success than failure
I see you

I see you
Ignoring what's right in front of you
Pretending it's not deserved
Fighting your demons alone
Afraid to smile and bask in the joy
I see you

Can you see
That you don't have to fight alone
That you are loved just as you are
That you are an imperfect person
But you are still a good man
Can you see that I see the real you
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racists.

No wonder we can't get rid of racism in our society, when people like this pitiful man and his party make it into the Swedish parliament. And I know his English is really bad - all the politicians in the Swedish parliament are almost as bad as this guy, at speaking English. It's so embarrassing, both having racists in the parliament and that the politicians are so bad at communicating in English.
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CALL OF THE MILD


IV'E BEEN HERE BEFORE
BUT NEVER BUT NEVER BEEN STUCK
I HAVE A HEAD TRIP IN EVERY KEY
WE DANCED TOGETHER ..IT MEANT A LOT TO ME
NEW-YORK HARMONIES
LOOKING PAST THE COLD DARK SEA
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ME?
BLACKBERRIES WRAP ON THE BRANCHES
HER SKIN IS BURNING SHE BENDS TO PICK THEM
SORROW CAME AND FLAWED THE SAFE ROOM
WITHOUT.REASON.HOPE.OR WARNING
LONG STORY SHORT
YOUR EYES AND MOONLIGHT GLOWS
DOWN ON LADESIDE ROAD
GREW UP HERE I KNOW
I'LL ALWAYS TREAT YOU LIKE A SLEEPING BABY
LOVE YOU LIKE A FOOL TO PLAY ME
ONE
TWO TWO
THREE THREE THREE
FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR
WAKE UP.
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So you're probably all familiar with the infamous vagabond Thom Yorke, and I'm sure many of you look up to him as a brilliant songwriter and musician.

Now most people would think this is a trivial matter, and I should really be devoting my time to more useful things like finding a cure for cancer, getting involved in charity work or improving my life in any shape or form.

However, as I was casually browsing deadairspace, as you do, I came across this.

'its about time you showed up for work'

This of course was written by Mr Yorke himself. There isn't an apostrophe in sight! Never mind the fact that the full stop seems to be missing. Isn't the 'I' in 'its' supposed to be capitalised?

His singing voice, his song-writing genius... It all counts for nothing. How can we trust the word of a man who can't even use the correct punctuation.

My solution?

Let's all watch reruns of X Factor instead.

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we've all been there

Coming home
sorting out the mess
the fall of Rome
falls with your dress
you wash your skin
as you usually do
but this time its for him
so you feel brand new

Make your bed
and you walk downtown
he orders you a drink
in a dark lounge

He did same before he left
not knowing why
holding his breath
like it was his first time

It felt good
to smell his shirt
and you still do
no matter how bad it hurts

cause when you split
you kept his things
he called to get his shit
you just let it ring

Its hard when people change
even harder when they dont
but there are always first dates
and there is always hope.

Stand still.


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Hi folks!


So it’s been almost 4 weeks since our Christmas Radiohead For Haiti DVD release, so I feel like I should give everyone some updates. What can I say – it is pretty smashing.

As of Tuesday, January 18 we have raised $16,720 from a total of 42 countries (!!) – pardon me – 41 countries and some $$ from ‘undisclosed locations’ :-)


This is stunning and amazing and profoundly awesome, and so we all need to give one huge ‘thank you’ to each other for making this happen.
But here’s what I’m thinking…. We got a really intense press attention, so we got it out there to people who love Radiohead, would love to contribute to the Haiti fund, but are not necessarily hanging out on WASTE or Atease, or even DAS. But press attention is a funny thing – it’s huge, it’s monstrously useful, incredibly flattering and – profoundly shot-lived. Kinda like an attention of a
5-year old. :) Alright, I get it, it’s their job – NEWS. The situation in Haiti sucks, it’s downright terrible if you watched any videos on youtube, but it’s just – hmm – not really ‘newsy’ enough, is it?


Now, I’m thinking, you guys are hardcore, you were the first ones to hear about our DVD project, and the fundraiser and all – way before Spin, and Consequence of Sound, and LA Times, and BBC, and Stereogum, and Rolling Stone Brazil, and Pitchfork and every other news channel that ran a column about it. You didn’t really find it out from them. In fact, I got a couple of ‘How come you didn’t tell me?!’ and ‘I had no idea!!’ emails in the last couple days which makes me think that our own ‘traditional’ grass-roots methods of just spreading the word make a big difference. Don’t you
think? We did not look for media coverage of this project – they found it, and it’s great; but now, that the media rush is mostly over - I’m asking you to perhaps forward this info on the DVD to whatever page, blog, site, facebook post – or just a bunch of friends who you think might be interested, but were not 'in the know'.


Now, because people we are talking about are NOT HERE, and we want to make it easy for them – here’s our ‘unaffiliated’ blog

http://inez4bears.blogspot.com/2010/12/radiohead-for-haiti-multi-cam-dvd.html

(identical to this http://www.waste-central.com/profiles/blogs/radiohead-for-haiti-multicam ) with all the download links… all the info and the story.

and here’s the Oxfam donations page www.oxfamamerica.org/radiohead – put it right there too, when you are emailing or posting.

Just let people know about this thing happening – they will thank you!


This is a looooong process, you know, it will take A LOT of effort and $$ to get Haiti back together. Whatever YOU, guys, do to help it is PRICELESS.


And our uploads/downloads are running – hundreds a day…. ha ha You would think $16K+ can still grow quite a bit!!!


Thanks a million for all your help. I have a total crisis at work - just can’t handle this anymore – perhaps you can take over? ;-)

xo

inez


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OK-IN-OZ

The OK Computer/IN Rainbows playlist, as dictated by the binary theory of Zeros and Ones, fits perfect as another alternate soundtrack to Wizard of OZ (ten letters). Same deal as Dark Side of the Moon, start playlist precisely the split second after the third lion roar before the credits.

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Popcorn. Enjoy yor meal. The 5,000th.

pop, pop and a little bit louder "pop", pop, pop, pop.....

This is how it sounds like.
This is how my neurones die because of the fact that number of erythrocytes in my blood is dramatically low.
And that's why I lack hemoglobin.
So that's why my brain cells don't receive enough oxygen and die popping like corn in a microwave.

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office chart


its about time you showed up for work


1.King Of Clubs - Apparat
2.Senorita - Actress
3.South London Boroughs- Burial
4.Organ Concerto in A Minor, BWV 593 after Vivaldi's Concerto Op. 3, No. 8 - Wolfgang Rübsam
5.Whole World - Aloe Blacc
6.Mosh Pit - DJ Trouble
7.The Curlew - Nathan Fake
8.The Turtle - Nathan Fake
9.A Jackson In Your House - The Art Ensemble of Chicago
10. Kill A Man With A Joystick In Your Hand - D'eon
11. Supreme Cunnilingus - Actress
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Be a world child___form a circle

Radiohead means not only music. It's some kind of ideology.

Apple juice. Snow is leaving us...


(guardian angel)


Ground to dust and ash.

Love is the one thing that can crash me.

You do it to yourself.





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