Snuggle bugs and smiley kissesJumping beans and wide-eyed blissToo soon we will be reminiscingAbout those carefree days we missHand in hand you share the wonderThere is awe in every dayDelighted squeals of understandingDo your thing and come what may
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there is nothing more wasteful than sad poetry because god knows someone has written it all before and its probably even more heart-breaking than yours will ever be so you as well just hurry up and cheer up and write something else
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Posted by Leilani E. on December 8, 2008 at 12:40pm
messin around , a lot of playnow it seems that I'm sore all dayYa , you've got me sore from rubbing hard,going for the extra yardand not keeping track ,not looking back...............but I like it.Do it again.please do it againyou've got me as happy as a masochistI like it.I like it.do it again.generate close , hold-me energywhile your fingers are sneaking up the half of mewispering, wicked tounge doing wicked things to flaunt .like telling me any thing you want,where there is communication, holes in fences , over stimulated extra senses.I'll still clutch you< I'll hold you even more this time,grasp you in my hands.and my shaking, twitching. thighsoverzealous, love sick, crazy for you crys .bleeding into dreams , mending our kinetic ties.and all is well and I like it.Do it again.please do it againyou've got me as happy as a masochistI like it.I like it.do it again...........and after tonight .............I might just go outsideand walk, whilst I think of you, the soarnesshints of all those crazy things that we do,in secretwhen, we've got all daywe've got all day.for messing around and a lot of play,
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Running. Sex. Philosophy.Category: Goals, Plans, HopesI came upon a remarkable epiphany recently.Working out and running are two of the most important things in my life. Oddly enough, I realized that I have some of my most imaginative and passionate thoughts when I am running and working out. When I finish a set that leaves me shaking, I feel like I have learned more about myself. I don't exist for the sake of escaping pain or avoiding punishment. Neither fear nor vanity are my incentives. I just want to understand the nature of things and reap the earnings of my efforts.I've also had some of my most romantic thoughts while running. Once, I was in love with a woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a run was throbbing through my body. Everything in me wanted her so much so that sex was only a slight fraction of my complete desire. It was the single most concentrated and intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn't see her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the loneliness.To this day, when I work out I usually listen to the ballads of musicians like Sam Cooke, Sigur Ros and The Postal Service. Despite these feelings, I swear that I will never live for the sake of another woman, nor ask another woman to live for my sake. Relationships and things of that nature degrade into a waste of emotional reserve. If the idea of "love" is a response to our highest values than I can have nothing to do with most people's relationships. Every person is an end in themselves, not a means to the ends in others.I prefer to work out alone. It enables me to concentrate on the lessons that the workout has for me and contemplate things. Learning about what you're made of is always time well spent, and I have found no better teacher. Working out and running have taught me how to live. Everything is an act of philosophy.Life, consumerism, social constraints, barrages of media from all directions. They are all capable of driving you out of your mind. Uncontested absurdities are accepted as slogans of belief. The way it all comes down these days, it's some kind of miracle if you're not insane or depressed. Most people have become habitually estranged and separated from their bodies. They are no longer whole.I see Americans shuffle from their offices to their cars and on to their suburban homes. They get stressed out and irritable constantly. They lose sleep. They shovel disgusting garbage into their mouths. They develop futile phobias and obsessions. Their egos run wild; they become motivated by that which will eventually give them a massive stroke.Through the years, I have tried to combine reading, self expression and working out into a single strength. I believe that when a person's body is strong, the mind thinks and expresses powerful thoughts. Time spent away from working out makes my mind degenerate. I flounder in a thick depression. My body locks up my mind. Running is the best antidepressant I have ever come across. There is no better way to fight difficulties and limitations than with mental and physical strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back.A workout never lies to you. You can walk around and listen to all kinds of conversations, get told that you're unbelievable or a total douche bag. A work out will always kick you into reality. Friends may come and go. But 8 miles is always 8 miles. A hundred pounds is always a hundred pounds.- PFC Ariel Garza
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Jonny is the school nurse.Jonny likes his job. He gets to sit around in his spinning chair and go round and round and round and when he's dizzy he goes and files his nails which are always perfect so he just buffs them.He also wears a dress.This seems to put off some people, but Jonny never minded except for once, in September.Jonny had been lounging in his chair, as usual. The window was open, letting in a pleasant breeze that faintly stirred the strands of jet-black hair hanging over his cheekbones. Jonny was wearing blush that day. He'd a few spare minutes that morning and didn't all school nurses wear makeup? There was nothing odd about a school nurse wearing makeup. Or stockings, heels and lipstick, which Jonny was also wearing that day.A student entered the office.His entrance could be described as bashing the door open.So the student bashed the door open and then shuffled in, scuffing his shoes against the floor in a way that would be irritating any other day but a Friday, which is what day it was. Jonny looked up from his nail file."Er." said the student, stopping part-way across the room."What?" Jonny asked sweetly, pretending not to look up and notice the flabbergasted look on the students face."Er."Jonny tried to hide his smirk beneath his fringe. There was always one of them- a student who wasn't aware of the 'eccentricity' of the school nurse. Jonny had so much fun with them. They never came around often enough. By the time they had worked up the courage to leave class and visit the nurse, their classmates had already filled them in on 'the way Nurse Greenwood was'. This was the first one since summer break.Jonny was going to milk this one for all it was worth."What's wrong, boy? Cat got your tongue?" he ran the aforementioned body part over one scarlet lip. The student reddened. He was trying to figure out Jonny was a man or a woman. Jonny knew he was thin enough to account for having no breasts, the only clues to his actual gender being his slightly stubbly chin. Luckily, he was also wearing foundation today.The student didn't say anything. He just stared. Jonny stared back, but in a sexy way. The student had an odd looking left eye and hair that looked as if it had been attacked by a tiny demented child with scissors. It had grass in it. Jonny felt a slight burst of hair-envy until he noticed that he had less split-ends and his was far thicker and more luxurious. Then he was able to relax."I, um, have a bit of a headache." the student said at last, swallowing. He had small, nervous hands which were twisting knots in his school tie."Seems a rather pitiful excuse to miss class, don't you think?""Yeah, well....erm, it really hurts...and...I couldn't really concentrate anyway so I might as well...well, I just thought....well, it really hurts a bit. Um...""I'm sorry to hear that.""Look, um, I've come down here for some asprin. Can I have one?" he said, after a longish pause.
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Sheep:the first Rein-Sheep :a Christmas poemFollow-Ups | Post Follow-Up | Radiohead Message Board | HELPPOSTED BY its craig upon a midnight clear ON 4th December, 2008 AT 3:45:47On a cold December night, while you were asleepthere wandered alone one known as SheepIt had no other name, just a simple lambSheep wandered away from its flock into a strange land,but not strange for children whose eyes can seethe workshop of Santa because they believe.Sheep approached the large door of Santa’s placeand knocked with its hooves with such delicate graceSheep was not lost and did not make a fearful peepfor it came to become the first rein-sheepSanta opened the door and stared at the lambbut Sheep said "BEEE" and put its hoof in his handIt told Santa what it came to doand luckily for Sheep, Comet had the fluSanta understood the languages of all the animalsand said it would give sheep carrots with its orange hullsas payment for helping pull the sleighand it could rest in the stables until Christmas daySheep agreed and jumped aroundand was so happy it made its BEEEE soundSheep made friends with the reindeer who thought it alrightto have a rein-sheep help them on Christmas nightSoon it became Christmas Eveand the magic of Santa, Sheep did seeSheep was given magical carrots to help it flyso it could kick its hooves and lift into the skyThe elves came over and wished the reindeer and Sheep the bestand was given some sleigh bells just like the restSheep was new so it took a place in the rearwhile up front was Ruldolph, the head reindeerThen Sheep and the reindeer kicked to make the sleigh liftto deliver to children all of the giftsHouse after house, Santa visited them allfrom the very large to the very smallbut flying overhead Sheep could seesome people didn’t have homes, and slept on the streetSheep asked Santa "what about them?"and Santa said "Fear not my wool covered friendSanta helps find ways to make their christmases merryand back into homes where it isn’t so scary."Flying by, Sheep saw a boy shivering from coldand Sheep had Santa stop nearby on a farm that was oldSheep had friends on this farm and told them its planto help everyone they possibly canto collect all their wool to be used for coatsor whatever people needed the mostThe sheep in the farm agreed and told Santa the planand to shave off their wool as fast as he canSanta laughed and used his magic, and just like thatthe sheep were all naked and there was a big wool stackthat suddenly formed into all kinds of clothesblankets and coats to keep warm when it snowsSanta delivered all of the things of wool madeto children along with a candy caneand then to shelters and to charities that were coolbut even after that there was still more magical woolSheep told Santa "lets not let it go to waste tonightgive it as extra presents to the children that are real nice!"Santa agreed and made it into sweaters and socksand put them in stockings or presents to those good a lotand Sheep’s human friends got some tooand lots of others that year..maybe even you!Soon it was finally done and the presents were deliveredand they went back to the north pole, and Sheep shiveredIt didn’t matter though because Sheep knew it helped a lotto bring warmth to everyone that gotsomething made from its wool and it made Sheep happy insideit jumped around and said "BEEE!" and lifted towards the skyand had enough magic left before the flying magic diedto fly back to where it lived with a bag of carrots on its sideand every year Sheep returns to give its wool in a heapand is prepared to fill in as its role as rein-sheepSo if you get some clothing this year please do not weepit means you have been very good and is made by your friend Sheep
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Posted by Missy aka Mom on December 6, 2008 at 4:49pm
It is that time of year..another office Christmas party. Put on the black dress honey, high heels, all the rest , to prove that we can keep up with the Jones. Meet the boss, meet the wife, I believe I will have another free drink to get through the rest of this night. Really good booze I myself do like cheep sweet wine. Last year the shrimp on a cocktail tree put me over the edge I just don't get the display. This year it was a strawberry tree 3 feet high , are they in season anywhere on earth? On friday, bonus checks, all are in the party mood, did the CEO not watch the news. My cheeks hurt from all the grinning, my arms ache from holding out my hand. It got better...maybe to much better. My head hurts,eyes are red, begging the kids to stay in bed just a little longer. I hope I didn't make a fool of him. Nice group of people, yet I didn't fit in, Black dress and high heels I would rather wear my thrift store finds.
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Posted by catittah__x on December 6, 2008 at 1:01am
Esto Es Algo Muy Extraño Para Mí,Realmente No Se Que Decir,Seriamente Es Algo Que Nunca Pensé Que Me Iba A Ocurrir,No Lo Sé,Es Algo Muy Dificil De Sentir Y De Explicar.Creo Que Escribiendo En Este Papel Cibernético;Todo Lo Que He Sentido Durante Este Tiempo, Se Me Irá Pasando A Medida Que Escriba.Hace Mas O Menos Tres Años Que Me Gusta Una Persona..(.Si Se Que Es Harto Tiempo!...¬¬ )Y Saben Algo...Nunca Se Lo He Dicho...Y Creo Que Nunca Se Lo Diré.Es Más;Creo Que Es Algo Que Me A Perjudicado Durante Todo Este Tiempo,Nunca Pensé Que Pasaría Así De Rápido,Y De Que Yo Fuese Capaz De Guardar Este Pequeño "Secreto" Por Tanto Tiempo.Piensen Un Poco...Ahora Tengo 18 Años!...Y Yo Todavía No Me Lo Creo :O,He Estado Enamorada (Se Que Suena Mamón,Pero Es Toda La Verdad) De Adivinen!...Uno De Mis Mejores Amigos(Y Uno De Los Mejores Que He Tenido).Es Realmente Terrible Sentir Esto :( ; Nunca Se Lo Dije Por Que Se Que A Lo Mejor,Y Lo Más Probable Que Suceda---> Nuestra Amistad Que He Cultivado Con Él Durante Todo Este Tiempo,Quieralo O No Cambiará, Y No Será La Misma De Antes,Simplemente Se DestruiráY Realmente No Quiero Que Pase Eso!.A Lo Mejor Cuando Yo Sea Mas Vieja Y Vea Esto Nuevamente,Me Reiré De Mi Misma,Pensando En Las Tonteras Que Escribia Y Pensaba En Este Tiempo,O A Lo Mejor, Esta Será La Unica Prueba Que Tendré Para Que El Sepa Cuanto Lo Amé;Y Todo En Vísperas De Navidad.Ahora Realmente No Me Importa Si El Se Entera De Lo Que Yo Haya Escrito Aquí,A Lo Mejor Lo Leyó,A Lo Mejor Lo Leerá,A Lo Mejor Más Rato,Mañana,Pasado,En Un Mes,En Cinco Años,Lo Leerá Y No Me Dirigirá La Palabra,Lo Leerá Y No Me Dirá Nada,Lo Leerá Y Todo Será Igual.Ya Está Todo HechoEsto Mañana Será Parte Del Pasado.
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Posted by SubSickAlien on December 5, 2008 at 7:18pm
It was a good year for music but not for the music industry. With this uncertainty the music industry is faced with today I'm glad to see musicians continue to make good music. Many of you reading this list will agree or dissagree with some of my picks for this year's best albums and I would like to see what some of you picked for YOUR top albums of 2008, so please do share. If you are wondering why I did not include 'In Rainbows' in this list... well it's because 'In Rainbows' was released on October 10, 2007 and I know that even those without a computer got to listen to it as well... and besides, it was last year's number one if you ask me.Cheers!-SSA[50] Unkle - End TitlesKey Tracks: 'Chemical' & 'Ghosts'[49] Underoath - Lost In The Sound Of SeparationKey Tracks: 'Breathing In A New Mentality' & 'A Fault Line, A Fault Of Mine'[48] Vampire Weekend - Vampire WeekendKey Tracks: 'A-Punk' & 'Mansard Roof'[47] Cold War Kids - Loyalty To LoyaltyKey Tracks: 'Something Is Not Right With Me' & 'Every Valley Is Not A Lake'[46] The Hold Steady - Stay PositveKey Tracks: 'Constructive Summer' & 'Sequestered In Memphis'[45] R.E.M. - AccelerateKey Tracks: 'Living Well Is The Best Revenge' & 'Hollow Man'[44] The Walkmen - You & MeKey Tracks: 'Dónde Está la Playa' & 'In The New Year'[43] The Roots - Rising DownKey Tracks: 'Rising Up' & '75 Bars'[42] Esoteric - The Maniacal ValeKey Tracks: 'Circle' & 'The Order Of Destiny'[41] Primal Scream - Beautiful FutureKey Tracks: 'Can't Go Back' & 'Beautiful Future'[40] The Raconteurs - Consolers Of The LonelyKey Tracks: 'Salute Your Solution' & 'Many Shades Of Black'[39] Sigur Ros - Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaustKey Tracks: 'Gobbledigook' & 'Inní mér syngur vitleysingur'[38] Okkervil River - The Stand InsKey Tracks: 'Lost Coastlines' & 'Blue Tulip'[37] Conor Oberst - Conor OberstKey Tracks: 'Cape Canaveral' & 'Lenders In The Temple'[36] Nine Inch Nails - Ghosts Vol. I-IVKey Tracks: (Any and all)[35] Gnarls Barkley - The Odd CoupleKey Tracks: 'Who's Gonna Save Your Soul' & 'Would Be Killer'[34] Mates Of State - Re-arrange UsKey Tracks: 'Get Better' & 'The Re-Arranger'[33] Black Mountain - In The FutureKey Tracks: 'Tyrants' & 'Bright Lights'[32] Hot Chip - Made In The DarkKey Tracks: 'Shake A Fist' & 'Ready For The Floor'[31] Mount Eerie - Lost WisdomKey Tracks: "Lost Wisdom' & 'Flaming Home'[30] Santogold - SantogoldKey Tracks: 'You'll Find A Way' & 'Creator Vs Switch'[29] Ra Ra Riot - The Rhumb LineKey Tracks: 'Ghost Under Rocks' & 'Too Too Too Fast'[28] Silver Jews - Lookout Mountain, Lookout SeaKey Tracks: 'What Is Not But Could Be If' & 'San Francisco B.C.'[27] Calexico - Carried To DustKey Tracks: 'Victor Jara's Hands' & 'Writer's Minor Holiday'[26] Girl Talk - Feed The AnimalsKey Tracks: 'Set It Off' & 'Shut The Club Down'[25] Autechre - QuaristiceKey Tracks: 'Perlence' & 'Simmm'[24] Spiritualized - Songs In A&EKey Tracks: 'Soul On Fire' & 'Sweet Talk'[23] The Cure - 4:13 DreamKey Tracks: 'Underneath The Stars' & 'Hungry Ghost'[22] Crystal Castles - Crystal CastlesKey Tracks: 'Crimewave' & 'Magic Spells'[21] Lil Wayne - Tha Carter IIIKey Tracks: 'Mr Carter' & 'A Milli'[20] Fucked Up - The Chemistry Of Common LifeKey Tracks: 'Royal Swan' & 'Golden Seal'[19] Fleet Foxes - Fleet FoxesKey Tracks: 'White Winter Hymnal' & 'Ragged Wood'[18] Cut Copy - In Ghost ColoursKey Tracks: 'Feel The Love' & 'Nobody Lost, Nobody Found'[17] Foals - AntidotesKey Tracks: 'Red Socks Pugie' & 'Cassius'[16] Sun Kil Moon - AprilKey Tracks: 'The Light' & 'Tonight The Sky'[15] The Verve - ForthKey Tracks: 'Rather Be' & 'Noise Epic'[14] Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds - Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!Key Tracks: 'Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!' & 'Midnight Man'[13] Beck - Modern GuiltKey Tracks: 'Orphans' & 'Chemtrails'[12] MGMT - Oracular SpectacularKey Tracks: 'Weekend Wars' & 'Electric Feel'[11] Goldfrapp - Seventh TreeKey Tracks: 'Caravan Girl' & 'A&E'[10] The Bug - London ZooKey Tracks: 'Angry' & 'Insane'[09] No Age - NounsKey Tracks: 'Eraser' & 'Teen Creeps'[08] Elbow - The Seldom Seen KidKey Tracks: 'Grounds For Divorce' & 'On A Day Like This'[07] TV On The Radio - Dear ScienceKey Tracks: 'Halfway Home' & 'Family Tree'[06] She & Him - Volume OneKey Tracks: 'Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?' & 'I Should Have Known Better'[05] Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks The Jicks - Real Emotional TrashKey Tracks: 'Elmo Delmo' & 'Real Emotional Trash'[04] Deerhunter - MicrocastleKey Tracks: 'Agoraphobia' & 'Microcastle'[03] M83 - Saturdays = YouthKey Tracks: 'Couleurs' & 'Graveyard Girl'[02] Portishead - ThirdKey Tracks: 'Hunter' & 'Plastic'[01] Flying Lotus - Los AngelesKey Tracks: 'Comet Course' & 'Riot'Read more…
Click on image to view my animation in new window.
This is the ISS, looking earthwards. 3-seconds marks transit. Is it a perfectly circular break in the Cloud Cover; a bird or a plane? Not a UFO!
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There is peace in the still night airDeep breaths reveal the crisp and undeniableNo frigid breezes to freeze the soulA temperature that reads trueIf only people wouldCovered swings and night owlsSilent but for the sounds of natureSoak in the surroundingsNotice what you never seeThere is more good than anythingThere is beauty in the darkness that shadows createReflections of the moon highlight the mind's eyeFocus on what cannot be seen or revel in what canPerception, so fragile and temperamentalYet, there is peace in the still night air
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Some people are just too good to be true. I might, just might, have the slightest possibility of realising the dream I consider being the dream of my lifetime. I just need to throw everything behind me, grasp the hand of the friend next to me and jump. hoping that my wings will spread alright. Fuck it, I don't care if I have to change my name to Sammy to get the strength to do it, I want to go... Leave it all behind. This kind of life was never meant to be mine, I don't feel right in it - well I do, when I manage to lie to myself ("Alors ça va ? Oui, très bien, je n'ai aucun problème"). There's nothing of it I want to keep near me, no source of improvement in any of the things that would make me the person I want to be. I'm selfish enough not to care for the ones I leave behind, impulsive enough to leave just because of an opportunity.Why can't I be happy at the Emerald bar ? I don't fucking care, if my entire being screams at me - this is your chance - how can it be wrong ?I don't care if it doesn't happen. Let me dream, please let me dream...
On a cold December night while you were asleepthere wandered alone one known as SheepIt had no other name, just a simple lambSheep wandered away from its flock into a strange land,but not strange for children whose eyes can seethe workshop of Santa because they believe.Sheep approached the large door of Santa’s placeand knocked with its hooves with such delicate graceSheep was not lost and did not make a fearful peepfor it came to become the first rein-sheepSanta opened the door and stared at the lambbut Sheep said “BEEE” and put its hoof in his handIt told Santa what it came to doand luckily for Sheep, Comet had the fluSanta understood the languages of all the animalsand said it would give sheep carrots with its orange hullsas payment for helping pull the sleighand it could rest in the stables until Christmas daySheep agreed and jumped aroundand was so happy it made its BEEEE soundSheep made friends with the reindeer who thought it alrightto have a rein-sheep help them on Christmas nightSoon it became Christmas Eveand the magic of Santa, Sheep did seeSheep was given magical carrots to help it flyso it could kick its hooves and lift into the skyThe elves came over and wished the reindeer and Sheep the bestand was given some sleigh bells just like the restSheep was new so it took a place in the rearwhile up front was Ruldolph, the head reindeerThen Sheep and the reindeer kicked to make the sleigh liftto deliver to children all of the giftsHouse after house, Santa visited them allfrom the very large to the very smallbut flying overhead Sheep could seesome people didn’t have homes, and slept on the streetSheep asked Santa “what about them?”and Santa said “Fear not my wool covered friendSanta helps find ways to make their christmases merryand back into homes where it isn’t so scary.”Flying by, Sheep saw a boy shivering from coldand Sheep had Santa stop nearby on a farm that was oldSheep had friends on this farm and told them its planto help everyone they possibly canto collect all their wool to be used for coatsor whatever people needed the mostThe sheep in the farm agreed and told Santa the planand to shave off their wool as fast as he canSanta laughed and used his magic, and just like thatthe sheep were all naked and there was a big wool stackthat suddenly formed into all kinds of clothesblankets and coats to keep warm when it snowsSanta delivered all of the things of wool madeto children along with a candy caneand then to shelters and to charities that were coolbut even after that there was still more magical woolSheep told Santa “lets not let it go to waste tonightgive it as extra presents to the children that are real nice!”Santa agreed and made it into sweaters and socksand put them in stockings or presents to those good a lotand Sheep’s human friends got some tooand lots of others that year..maybe even you!Soon it was finally done and the presents were deliveredand they went back to the north pole, and Sheep shiveredIt didn’t matter though because Sheep knew it helped a lotto bring warmth to everyone that gotsomething made from its wool and it made Sheep happy insideit jumped around and said “BEEE!” and lifted towards the skyand had enough magic left before the flying magic diedto fly back to where it lived with a bag of carrots on its sideand every year Sheep returns to give its wool in a heapand is prepared to fill in as its role as rein-sheepSo if you get some clothing this year please do not weepit means you have been very good and is made by your friend Sheep--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------the Real Sheep’s review:beeeeeeee!!!! *jumps around you* - Sheep dress like a reindeer*is very very impressed!**loves your poem*beeee!!!*thinks you will get a wool sweater* :Dextra ending:oh,and that little boy cold on Christmas eve?Got a new coat and grew up to be meit took awhile for a new home, the prices were steepbut I was always kept warm from my Christmas coat from Sheep(cut because I was never homeless and it was sort of sappy)
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Hoy, al salir de casa, el día me dio la bienvenida con una envolvente manta de aire. No había duda; noviembre había llegado prematuramente. Siempre he pensado en octubre como la antesala de noviembre, y es que todo cambia a estas alturas del año: el aire se vuelve portador de una sórdida quietud que pulula en el ambiente; hasta la luz se vuelve pasiva como si el sol se deprimiera; ya no es brillante sino nostálgica, opaca; color sepia que hace de los días fotografías viejas de tiempos que se han abismado, que no sucederán; y que aún así se encuentran (falsamente) latentes. Las mañanas recuerdan a las tardes, las tardes traen con ellas esperanzas que permanecen en el reino de lo paradigmático; que nunca se realizan. Sin embargo, ésta eterna vigilia acumula esperanzas que mantienen un sueño “vivo”, aunque velado por una realidad que nunca será tangible, abstraído. Aletargado.Quizá esto es lo que le otorga a noviembre -y su octubre heraldo, aunque en menor medida- ese misterio insondable, esa melancolía perpetua e inefable que sólo se siente, no se explica; porque no hay nada que explicar y sí mucho que sentir; sentir porque no realizar, por no existir; sentir por recordar, por recordar cosas que no han sucedido, por esperar cosas que no sucederán. Quizá es esto lo que le confiere a noviembre esos días mórbidamente abstractos y aburridos; tardes de pululante esperanza petrificada; muerta por analogía aunque no-viva en realidad; pero finalmente presente (ilusión)…Yo tengo la teoría de que los muertos regresan a nosotros en forma de memorias, o -más bien- de la nostalgia que éstas memorias producen -aunque no sean necesariamente suyas. Creo firmemente en que el tiempo es la metáfora de la muerte. Cada segundo que vivimos representa un grano de arena menos en el reloj. Tenemos la falsa idea de que vivimos, de que nos deslizamos; pero en realidad nos mata, nos erosiona; crea surcos en nuestros cuerpos, los hace desiertos Éste tiempo-vida que morimos a cada segundo; éste tiempo-muerte que desvivimos hundidos en nuestra realidad…
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Inevitablemente llega el momento en el cual uno se queda irremediablemente solo. Existen dos caminos, el primero lleva por rumbos inciertos y oscuros, y después de mucho caminar entre selvas de reflexión, y esquivar -o a veces caer en-agujeros de tormentosos pensamientos, el camino llega a su fin cuando el caminante cae en la cuenta de que la distancia que ha recorrido hasta ese punto, lo lleva a un punto que no existe. De nada ha le servido caminar tanto, exponerse tanto, si al final el viajero se percata de que ha caminado en círculos; entonces, ¿Qué sucede con todas esas estructuras que sustentaban tan firmemente sus creencias, y por extensión, las de su grupo social? ¿De qué sirve el lenguaje, que es la madre de todas esas estructuras? ¿A caso se colapsa? y si se colapsa, ¿todo irremediablemente se colapsa con él? En dado caso, será necesario que el individuo se replantee su vida, asigne nuevos valores a cada aspecto de ella; pero… ¿cómo? El mero hecho de darse cuenta ya es el primer paso, pero aquí el individuo enfrenta otra bifurcación: reacciona ante la parálisis o se vuelve víctima-complice de ella, de esto me ocuparé más tarde.Por el otro lado, el individuo camina sobre un claro sendero que lo llevará de manera segura a el prototipo vigente de la vida en sociedad; tal sendero está cubierto por la luz de la ignorancia, peor aún, de la indiferencia. Anda por la vida diciendo que ama vivirla, sin embargo, eso no es amor, es ignorancia o indiferencia, es vivir al margen de la “realidad social” (pero la realidad social es, de igual forma, una ilusión que esconde el caos, no el inicial, que tenía un orden dentro de sí), es ignorar el entorno individual.
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